New neighbour has asked us to stop construction on new home until daughter has finished exams.

[Grammarninja]

This is such a tricky one for me. We bought a house that needed a complete overhaul a year ago. We've finally gotten through architects, planning permission and trying to find affordable builders etc. It has been stressful.
We broke ground this week and the neighbours have asked us to stop until dd has finished her exams in 3 weeks.
I really feel for the family and can't imagine how upsetting it must be for them at this crucial time (we had no idea they had a child sitting exams this summer). My husband has offered them an office at his work around the corner to facilitate study. I wouldn't mind postponing if it wouldn't cost us 30k to do so as builders are working to a set time frame. I wouldn't even mind the extra costs we'd incur through having to stay in our current accommodation for another month if it weren't for the builders' costs which we simply can't afford.
I'm worried now that we're going to start off on a terrible note with our new neighbours which would be such a shame considering my current neighbours are like family.
Are we being unreasonable to continue with the build in these circumstances?

Yes, this tale doesn't ring true, have an extension done with a hefty budget and yet can't afford furniture.

Our neighbours put us through a year of this, and I will hate them until I die. You deserve any bad feeling you have coming.

Yes, I agree, it isn't something a teenage girl would want to do I don't think, I can imagine it just being added stress to the poor kid!

Situation not ideal but not your fault

Suggest you ask for exam timetable and ensure you avoid noisy work on the day begins, and day of, exams

You could offer to buy noise cancelling headphones if they wish

I guess you could call their bluff and ask if they'd be willing to split the £30K cost of postponing

Perhaps reflect on your own posts if you don't expect a reply to your very rude yawning emoji...

I would suggest that genuine A star students are able to study in less than perfect environments and still do well.

There is such preciousness on here. There are kids from deprived backgrounds doing well, when sharing bedrooms, living in chaotic situations etc. They are the genuine stars in my eyes.

If this is a real thread, presumably the parent didn't have telepathic skills and asked the question before they were given the answer of, " it will cost £30000". Why would you create more disharmony by calling someone's bluff. Seems counterproductive if the OP wants good relations with an established neighbour that will have to endure the building site for six months.

I'm sure the op has gone but as someone who lives in a terraced house, has children of exam taking age, and has had building work done, yes, they are allowed to be annoyed. Obviously at this stage you are not going to spend 30k delaying but you should not have got to the point of starting without taking to your neighbours about timing of you actually wanted a relationship with them. From their perspective the house has been empty for a YEAR and you pick now to start without talking to them?!

There is fully pandering, and then there is considerate adjustment.

Such as it doesn't sound like the neighbour was told when work would start - OP said she wasn't sure but I'm guessing they got at least a few weeks notice as they had time to move out into a rental. And if they had been told then they could have tried to make a plan for their daughter.

Several people have suggested they could give a timetable of noisy works to their neighbour in advance so their daughter could try and plan to be elsewhere at the worst times, and/or agree times when quieter works could be done. This doesn't mean stopping work, but just adjusting things a bit - we did this for our neighbours. I haven't seen OP confirm they are doing this.

Ultimately it just needed a conversation
'Works are starting on X date, they will take place between this time and this time on these days. The noisiest days will be ...... We cannot postpone due to cost, but we are happy to discuss other options around adjusting the schedule to support your daughter as we know how important this is to her'

As a previous poster said MN doesn't seem to do compromise, it seems to be all or nothing.

Jesus you are kidding. Next door are renovating, it goes on from 8am to 8.30pm and same at weekends.
People dont seem to give a toss about regulations now.
And yes we have spoken to them and nothing has changed.

It is totally beyond your control - nothing you can do except be very pleasant and empathetic whilst carrying on. You have offered a solution - equally they could find their own (friends house etc). I’m afraid the neighbours sound like the typical wealthy elite that have lost sight of reality. This is a 1st world problem. I’d just be grateful your not attached to them!

That’s a NO then. Contribute to a post directly yourself and stop picking fault with other contributors. I submitted a yawning emoji because you’re acting in tedious, boring manner and not offering up a solution to the OP!

if the exams go badly they will 100% blame you and I think you will probably have to move house again quite soon

Lol. Some posters need to get a grip. Seriously.

Well so what, surely we should not want that for any kids not make that the goal. Some getting A stars in challenging conditions is rare, what is more typical is students have their whole life chances being impacted by these conditions and a real unequal society as a result. Who the hell advocates for that as a good thing? Oh you are....

So your contribution is crap then and not helping the OP if they exist. Talk about lack of self awareness.

Our attached next door neighbours were doing building work during my son's GCSEs. Due to health reasons he sat the exams at home with an invigilator in the room. We asked them if they could reduce the noise the during one exam as they were drilling a lot that day but otherwise got on with it. Of course you are not being unreasonable.

Have you seen the OP's budget, are they not wealthy?

Gosh people these days really struggle with nuance and compromise, don't they?

OP you sound lovely. When my Neighbours did a big extension, I was pregnant after miscarriage. They didn't stop the work for the 9 months, that would have been ridiculous but they did let me know specific times the noisiest work was going to be carried out and strictly enforced start and end times. Which meant I knew when the noise would be and could avoid a lot of it. It reduced the stress massively for me. If I was ever going to do a big piece of work I'd ask them in advance when would work best for them and try and factor that in with the builders, then I'd let them know when it's ongoing what will be happening and when. It's not rocket science. We both benefit from being decent and some minimal communication.

In a previous house we had truly shitty neighbours who used the noisiest possible equipment - such that our entire house shook - pounding the driveway one bank holiday weekend without bothering to inform us. It was not knowing when it was going to start up again (which was pretty much on and off 8-6 for the entire weekend including the bank hol monday) which was the worst - it was being on edge for the entire weekend. We could have easily made plans to be elsewhere but their lack of basic communication and consideration meant that option was taken away from us. We went out a bit but because we didn't know when it'd end we didn't know when to come back and it was so demoralising to come back at 5.45 and it was still going.

Hopefully the office will be a good compromise but I'd also ask for the child's schedule, also find out what A-levels they want to do and prioritise quieter work right before those GCSE exams (which will be a limited number). Ask the builders if it's possible to do the absolutely, ground shaking, nosiest work when she'll be out having exams. Ask them to strictly stick to start and end times, so the child can plan her revision when it's quieter and isn't stressed when work which was supposed to stop half an hour ago is still ongoing. Communication and some slight compromise.

Ask the builders if they have other jobs, and if so maybe they could do some of those on the days before the A-level subject exams. My experience of builders is that they often have lots of things going on and can accommodate this sort of thing for a day or two. Probably some of them have children who either are sitting or have sat exams and will be keen to help.

I think there are circumstances which can affect the rest of a chid's life: addict parents, domestic violence, sexual abuse.

I don't think building noise between 8am and 4pm quite gets into that category.

The girl can go to her school library, the local library. @Grammarninja has offered her office space.

I''m of the generation which was affected by the 3 day week, strikes and closures, as well as electricity cuts. A friend of mine still managed to get to Oxford to read Law ... gosh, nowadays, we'd all have just melted away, overcome by the noise of builders in the house next door. No shared walls, but still, kill us now! we're going to fail our GCSEs.

Because they are planning for the long term?

Christ reading this thread I really fear for the future. A bunch of molly coddled pampered kids raised to believe the world revolves around them and the exams millions of us have managed before, and with zero resilience if anyone throws a spanner in the works of their plans. No wonder these kids are then fucking useless in the workplace. Plenty of book smarts and zero other life skills.

I think you are being totally unreasonable. My council recently announced overnight works in the exam period outside my house.
I told them I would get an injunction because of the disruption to my daughters exams and the unreasonable disruption to my peace ful enjoyment and the disproportionate impact it would have in my childs exams. They moved the date of the works.
If I were your neighbour I would be looking at taking legal advice. This could cost you even if it doesnt work.
Offer to pay for them to have 3 weeks of over night accommodation else where.

This is why I think it's a complete work of fiction. The OP must be well off with tbat budget, they have seemingly had no conversation with the neighbours even though delays of a year. They can't afford to furnish the place, even though huge budget. They can't afford something to move into straight away without renovating even though their priorities are their toddler to feel comfortable and safe even though big budget

Anxious parents are raising anxious children with zero coping strategies.

A decent parent would not make a drama. They would be upbeat and suggest libraries, revising at other people’s houses on occasion etc and keep a sense of perspective. That would help the child calm down and work better.

The ‘I would hate you forever’ brigade are just unhinged. Unless they would give the OP £30k for the delay of course. That’s a lot of money to me!

An injunction 😂