New neighbour has asked us to stop construction on new home until daughter has finished exams.

[Grammarninja]

This is such a tricky one for me. We bought a house that needed a complete overhaul a year ago. We've finally gotten through architects, planning permission and trying to find affordable builders etc. It has been stressful.
We broke ground this week and the neighbours have asked us to stop until dd has finished her exams in 3 weeks.
I really feel for the family and can't imagine how upsetting it must be for them at this crucial time (we had no idea they had a child sitting exams this summer). My husband has offered them an office at his work around the corner to facilitate study. I wouldn't mind postponing if it wouldn't cost us 30k to do so as builders are working to a set time frame. I wouldn't even mind the extra costs we'd incur through having to stay in our current accommodation for another month if it weren't for the builders' costs which we simply can't afford.
I'm worried now that we're going to start off on a terrible note with our new neighbours which would be such a shame considering my current neighbours are like family.
Are we being unreasonable to continue with the build in these circumstances?

I think the age of the person who has the exams is irrelevant in all considerations. A child shouldn't have to accommodate everyone else while an adult taking exams to further their career or something would not be expected to do so. She is in her own home and should be able to do whatever she wants in her own home without constant disturbance. Environmental Health might back that up as well, if the disturbance is constant and all day every day. People think they can make noise during daylight hours but EH can still consider if it's a nuisance and often go on how loud/disturbing and how long it's like that.

OP I'd give the parents evidence of how it will cost £30k, so they believe you and don't think you're just chancing them offering it to you while you chill for a few weeks. I doubt it will make them feel any better about you in the long run though.

"They will hate you forever and you will deserve it."

😮Are you serious? I doubt anyone was faffing around. Paying rent AND a mortgage would make that doubtful. The new neighbors will have to find another way to deal with the construction. @Grammarninja isn't doing anything wrong and shouldn't lose 30k to appease them.

Why does the teen need complete silence to study? Life continues even if she's sitting exams. It's obvious that the homeowners are bending over backwards to accommodate her. The husband even offered her an office at his nearby business.

When I need to concentrate, I use noise-canceling headphones. They reduce how much I hear of whatever is going on. Maybe the neighbors should try to find a more reasonable solution, or take advantage of OP's offer of an office.

You would be bonkers to do this - she can go to the library! Don’t even give it a second thought OP - it is one of life’s many hardships she will have to deal with!

The pp saying to OP “They will hate you forever and you will deserve it” was the rude one in this exchange. Horrible remark that deserved criticism

Why don’t they pay for an air Bnb? No, don’t want to spend the money. You cannot lose 30k and neither would they. We live in a flat and my DD is sitting her A levels, noise is inevitable and if she was struggling here, school would allow her to study in the library. I wouldn’t dream of asking such a thing.

Same!

Did my GCSE’s about 15 years ago, my parents would ask me “which subject is the exam for tomorrow love?” “just do your best” and that was it.

I’d have been mortified if they were round the neighbours houses asking for quiet. Funnily enough we were having an extension built the summer I was doing GCSE’s.

Yep - you're right, they're not at school unless they have an exam.
I've also been jumped on for suggesting that public libraries are often noisy, multi-functional spaces nowadays and therefore maybe not ideal for revising.

I hate construction and noisy inconsiderate neighbours but that’s not you OP. Sympathy for the situation and an explanation for why you can’t change it is all that’s required here. Offering an alternative study space is amazing and they should take you up on it. We had this situation with our neighbours during Covid but they were completely unapologetic and rude about it and it did make us dislike them. They also went way over schedule and never bothered updating us (they were living elsewhere). But, at the end of the day, we all survived (thank god for noise cancelling headphones) and we know that renovation/construction is necessary at times. We have had to do it ourselves. Personally I think the headphones would be a really nice gesture.

I can 100% be certain that the school
is open and will have study spaces available for those with exams. Given your update, they’re massive dicks, and I’d give them no more thought. You’ve offered a solution, they do already have a solution with the school, so they have options. I think the death of your men is clouding your judgement. Even without this scenario, I could never be friends with the sort of people who ask that they be consulted on plans to check that their bikes are covered. Twats.

Surely they must know it's an unreasonable request.
I'd send a note saying something like, "I appreciate your situation and regret the upset, but you must know that this involves the schedules of many people, and it's not something that can be delayed for weeks. Normally, a student would opt for a quiet room at the library, but in this case my husband has very kindly offered to set up your daughter in his own office. I hope she'll accept."

Faffing about for a year! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Tell me you’ve never had to organise a renovation and building works without telling me you’ve never had to organise a renovation or building works.

@Grammarninja she can go onto school to revise if necessary.

Crack on!

School will have study facilities, they can be utilised.

Bloody cheek OP! She can study at library as my niece and lots of other kids have been doing and how nice of your DH to offer his office. You owe them nothing hell they’ve only just moved in Entitled somewhat!

Are you the neighbour? Heaven forbid ! Would you lose £30k ?

Noise cancelling headphones should solve the issue for her. Most teenagers seems to have them clamped over their ears!
The offer of a quiet space at your husband's office is a great idea.

My dd is doing GCSEs atm. Yes it would be annoying but I would simply put it down to bad timing. In fact if the work started in the morning i might even be a little grateful that it would prevent her sleeping all day! Your offer of use of an office is beyond generous, personally I would bite your hand off for that, although perhaps I would want to come with my dd and see it first. Are you very rural or something? If not there is no reason she cannot use a library or similar, I suspect her school will also provide study space. My dd has spent most of her revision time in the library or this local community arts building which has some quiet desks dotted around. She revises far better there than at home. You have apoglised and offered a solution. I don’t think you should do anymore than that or feel bad at all.

I think the offer of somewhere to study at your husband’s workplace was a good one. One of my children used to take themselves off to the local library to study for their exams. They said there were too many distractions at home.

Most of the exams are now over anyway.
2 more weeks and they're pretty much done. From Monday, I think ds has about 7 left, spread over 2 weeks. And the heavyweight ones I think are done by next Wednesday.

And how many kids are actually revising all day, every day?

I wouldn’t care if people that pathetic hated me. There is such a thing as headphones. I bet they’d never entertain pausing anything if they were the ones having the work done

I have loads of experience in this area, a year is a long time in the UK but she isn't in the UK so if that's your experience it's irrelevant!

Your neighbour is unbelievable for asking this in my opinion. Other places for study are possible - a library, friends / family homes, the school / uni.

Not only the inconvenience to you but it is incredibly self centred of them not to think of the impact on your builder, all his employees and the sub contractors he is using who have planned their work and income around this project. They won’t be able to find replacement work at late notice so delaying it means they won’t make any money to feed their families. Even if they can delay, at significant cost to you, there is a knock on impact for the next job who is delayed and may end up cancelling out of annoyance.

Sure exams are important but they don’t trump everyone else’s right to exist and they are not the most important thing in this scenario. I cannot believe your neighbour. They sound like a narcissist.

You can't write the self congratulatory but about the husband being so very kind, it is going to wind them up more!

Environmental Health will stop building work if it’s too noisy ? OK then.

You are good to facilitate an office space for neighbour.

Start building but make sure your builders are generous with start and stop times. If they know someone is studying they might be able to engineer some days where noise is mostly between 9 and 3.
Bake some snacks for student neighbour as a one off.

I did my GCSES about 30 years ago, my parents were divorced but they were both interested as they are both educated people. However, I can't recall anybody doing anything to their house that was renovation work or extensions as in those days people could afford family homes. However, this was the UK so that experience is not relevant to the OP as she is not in the UK.