New neighbour has asked us to stop construction on new home until daughter has finished exams.

[Grammarninja]

This is such a tricky one for me. We bought a house that needed a complete overhaul a year ago. We've finally gotten through architects, planning permission and trying to find affordable builders etc. It has been stressful.
We broke ground this week and the neighbours have asked us to stop until dd has finished her exams in 3 weeks.
I really feel for the family and can't imagine how upsetting it must be for them at this crucial time (we had no idea they had a child sitting exams this summer). My husband has offered them an office at his work around the corner to facilitate study. I wouldn't mind postponing if it wouldn't cost us 30k to do so as builders are working to a set time frame. I wouldn't even mind the extra costs we'd incur through having to stay in our current accommodation for another month if it weren't for the builders' costs which we simply can't afford.
I'm worried now that we're going to start off on a terrible note with our new neighbours which would be such a shame considering my current neighbours are like family.
Are we being unreasonable to continue with the build in these circumstances?

Whatever you offer isn't going to be enough of a solution, so don't tie yourself in knots about it. Instead, if you really want to get on with your neighbours post-exams, be very clear to your builders that they must stick to working hours of 8-4 during the week and only 8-1 on Saturdays – and only at weekends if it can't be avoided. We did that with our builders so our neighbours knew they'd get some respite in late afternoon and at weekends. It's not the best time of year, when people want their windows open, but there's nothing you can do about that either.

I’d say, yeah sure, if you could pay the £30,000 I’d lose I’ll happily stop the work!

My school had construction work going on during my A levels, many years ago. Was not an issue then and in the years since have often worked in environments where other noise had to be tuned out.
People need to get exams into perspective, life continues every year during the months of May and June!

I have kids doing both A levels and GCSE and I think your neighbours are wildly unreasonable. They are kids are they don’t responsibility, not yours. It is your home, you have planning to do the work.

My mind boggles at the anxiety parents put upon their kids doing exams but I think we’re generally a pretty laid-back family so maybe that’s why.

Also, my sons attend different schools, both of which are open for Y11 and Y13 students to revise when they do not have exams. My eldests school expects GCSE students to attend full time regardless of whether they have exams on that day or not.

The ‘I would hate you forever’ brigade here sound more immature than most teens..

I’m obviously in the minority that thinks it’s ridiculous you can ask someone to postpone their building work? Just because something doesn’t suit you 100% people seem to throw a fit of rage. Lots of sensible solutions and in life you have to work these things out. If they wanted so much quiet and peace then live in the middle of nowhere without neighbours.

You must be so disappointed to discover your new neightbours are entitled CFs

I'd give them a wide berth when you move im. No sane person actually makes this request. You're completely sure they weren't joking or something?

You can see why some teens think they can’t cope with a bit of inconvenience, can’t you? Their parents have led them to believe it’s the case.

I’m not sure you’re in the minority, the vast majority on this thread agree with you.

For goodness sake! My ds is doing gcse's and dd is doing a levels atm, the world does not revolve around them! Crack on with your building work.
All schools are different re study leave, ds has none, in school full time, dd goes into college every day to study either in the library or a study room so its not a given that the children will even be affected much.

Hardly a ''cheek" if it's just a query. What harm does it do, after all if you don't ask you don't get! The OP has said it's not possible but other people may have been able to accommodate this request.

YANBU, but neither are they. You need to give them as much information as possible so they feel as if they have some control.

So, it will last for this long...they will work these hours and never these hours...they won't have a radio on (almost as annoying as hearing work tbh!)...And make sure the builders know that for 3 weeks next door is revising.

I mean, really, it is up to the parents to stop catastrophising and passing any worry on to their kid.

We are in central London and on any given day there is drilling, scaffolding being put up or down, street being ripped up for the sake of a fly's fart. She won't be the first kid to have to stick some headphones on and get on with it. It might make her remember stuff actually...what was the formula for that? Oh yeah, I was learning it when next door's drill was going... the parents need to get creative with their revision encouragement.

Tell them you will happily postpone if they are willing to pay all the extra costs incurred. If not, I I wouldn't give it a second thought. I can't even believe the level of entitlement they must have to even ask this. They can get her noise cancelling headphones, she can go to the library or school if she is terribly affected by it but it is absolutely in no way your problem to solve.

I mean my sympathy levels have dropped substantially if they're the unattached side. That will make a massive difference to the amount of noise. It is definitely really irritating but it's also Just One Of Those Things. I don't think there's any point feeling guilty about it.

I'd explain the £30k and see if there were some certain times or days that their daughter would need peace that you could compromise around.

People are getting a bit nuts over this. 🤦‍♀️
Neighbour asked. Ok, fine.
OP says it will cost money to stop construction. So, unless neighbours want to pay that then, No, OP can't stop it.
Neighbours need to find somewhere else for their child to study if earplugs (with noise-cancelling headphones over too ) don't work. I

I can't believe someone suggested OP give her rental to the neighbours and live at neighbours' instead. Are you completely insane or just a bit? 🤦‍♀️

This thread is hilarious - rent them a house, move into their house and let them use your rental etc - I mean come on, get a grip!

You’ve offered a perfectly nice office for her to study in and if she is on study leave she could use the library or I’m sure her school could accommodate her.

Most GCSE’s finish around 15th June so she won’t have that many more to revise for anyway.

Of course it’s inconvenient but it’s just one of those things - I wonder whether they canvassed the neighbours to check if it was convenient for them before they did similar building works?

Did you let them know the work was starting ahead of time and when it would start? You had an agreed schedule with the builders - did your neighbours know this schedule in advance?

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-41037805

And show them this as an example of what resilience can achieve!

It's not a bit of inconvenience though is it, the OP said it's a total overhaul of the house. At the end of the day it's annoying being next to a building site with LBC or Heart, Kiss fm blasting out if you are trying to concentrate on studies.

No ur not being unreasonable, ur oh has offered another place to study, if they dnt accept then its obviously not that important to them. My response would have been ok but you have to pay the extra costs and were moving in with u because we cant stay where we are, wich is less disruption x

I like to get on with people and have always had lovely relationships with my neighbours. This is all coming at a very sad time as my ndn died on Friday/Saturday after living beside her for 20 years (since college). She lived alone and had a lot of mh issues but we had tea together every day and I was probably her best friend. I discovered her at the bottom of her stairs on Saturday morning. So sad. She was only 65.
Anyway, I'm derailing my own thread here, but I like to live in a community where we care about each other which is why I'm so sad that new neighbours are going to be so put out and that we'll never be friends.

This, otherwise you'll set a precedent and they will forever expect you to bow to their demands!

It is a bit of inconvenience, because there are other places the girl can study. There are ways to overcome the problem.

Will your builders be working in the evening and weekends? I don't know many that would.