New neighbour has asked us to stop construction on new home until daughter has finished exams.

[Grammarninja]

This is such a tricky one for me. We bought a house that needed a complete overhaul a year ago. We've finally gotten through architects, planning permission and trying to find affordable builders etc. It has been stressful.
We broke ground this week and the neighbours have asked us to stop until dd has finished her exams in 3 weeks.
I really feel for the family and can't imagine how upsetting it must be for them at this crucial time (we had no idea they had a child sitting exams this summer). My husband has offered them an office at his work around the corner to facilitate study. I wouldn't mind postponing if it wouldn't cost us 30k to do so as builders are working to a set time frame. I wouldn't even mind the extra costs we'd incur through having to stay in our current accommodation for another month if it weren't for the builders' costs which we simply can't afford.
I'm worried now that we're going to start off on a terrible note with our new neighbours which would be such a shame considering my current neighbours are like family.
Are we being unreasonable to continue with the build in these circumstances?

@Grammarninja it’s unfortunate but all you can do is say, you can’t afford the £30k it would cost to stop the work (presuming the builders don’t have any other projects they could divert to temporarily or something, I would ask if they have any ideas perhaps). And that you really want to accommodate but can’t think of any other way than what you’ve offered.

If you want complete peace and quiet you buy an isolated cottage in the countryside with no near neighbours. Though they sound like the sort that will complain about harvest).

Some do. My nephew’s has dictated that they want them to be in school all day everyday until exams finish. They have study sessions running in between exams

Thing is like my neighbours (though they are wankers for other tho building reasons) you need or want the work done. So it’s going to be done.

These neighbours may or may not hate you, part of that will come down to how you and your builders behave that doesn’t mean postponing for months. But general consideration not blasting radios, not working outside of hours, not swearing all the bloody time and definitely not crossing the property boundaries as well as understanding the noise likely will be horrible and they won’t be able to escape it other than escaping their own home at times.

I think a lot of posters are having a laugh at the OP's expense and are just saying shit for entertainment purposes. You have to admire the commitment to the bit.
I have to tell myself this for my own sanity, because there is no possible way these replies and reactions are real.
Anywho 🍿.

Perhaps your DC are used to it then but can you not see that if you live down a quiet road for example and have done your whole life, that becoming acclimatised to sudden extreme and loud construction noises may be more challenging around GCSE time. I mean there is a reason at university Libraries you don't go in to them making loud noises or that they don't start construction or refurbishment work at exam time, these conditions are not conducive to study.

Nope, your life can’t revolve around a teenager’s revision at home during normal working hours. School library, local library or they get her noise-cancelling earphones and she can play white noise.

If I were you I’d be up front but apologetic and tell the neighbours delaying would cost you £30k so no can do. I’d ask when her exams are and try to avoid loads of noise on those days at the very least. If it’s GCSEs it’s very intense, my niece is doing them now and has 24 exams in total!

I’d probably get her a gift card for a local coffee shop for when she’s finished, and flowers and/or wine for her mum.

It’s unfortunate timing but would they do the same for you probably not and quite frankly they are cheeky fuckers to ask.
The daughter can revise in wherever establishment she is under or with friends. All schools colleges and universities offer this. Your DH has gone above and beyond to create an additional learning space too.
absolutely not. Tell them no! I wouldn’t dream of asking my neighbours.

You could suggest them
speaking to the builders as to what noise it is likely to create, they may have created a larger than life envision in their heads than the. Actual reality

Many libraries closed down due to Tory cuts or are now only part time, many schools don't have Libraries open for these purposes and noise cancelling headphones don't stop vibrations. I think the OP's offer of an office is very kind but I can see teenagers perhaps being hesitant about the unknown aspect of that.

This is a really hard situation. She does need quiet to properly study, your building work is a big issue for her. Yes she can go to a library but then she doesn’t have access to her kitchen for the right snacks, taking all the books with her is harder. This does have a big impact on her.

All schools do not offer this and it’s not the same as revising at home in your own environment

How are they cheeky. Absolutely fine to ask, there is literally no harm in asking.

Bloody hell

No wonder the new workforce are arriving unable to cope

Theyve lived in a world where the world stops for them!

Its unfortunate thst she has exams

But she must live alongside 7 billion other people each witb their own shit going on

Her parents are doing her no favours here

Heaven forfend she has to carry books and doesnt have the right snacks!!!!

Fuck. Me.

I'd tell them that if their kid isnt able to cope with the world carrying on as normal, then the exam results are the least of their worries.

Sometimes I wonder and worry for my nieces and nephews, because society seems to be going bonkers. Then every so often something like this reminds me they will probably be the ones who will be ok because they have been raised to get up and get on with it, work hard, show up, be polite, tackle things outside of your comfort zone with good grace, no one owes you anything etc etc

We went though hell with our neighbours when we did our Reno. They reported us to the council, even the police, shouting and screaming. The work ended, the stress ended and it’s all water under the bridge now. They give gifts to our children and we have bbqs. You absolutely need to continue the work - you have offered a solution. Good luck with the work - the end is in sight!

It's unfortunate timing, but not a lot you can (or should) do. Did you let them know when the work would be starting, how many days they'll be working and give them assurances it will only be during normal working hours?

I WFH and of course my neighbours do building/garden work now and again. Often just knowing how long it will go on for is enough - I hunker down with ear plugs, move from the garden office to the house if that helps, or decamp to anywhere with wifi. Often it's the bastard radio that tips me over the edge rather than the actual noise.

My immediate neighbour (terrace) chose to replace her windows and doors when my PFB was less than a week old. At the time I thought how selfish she was - she knew I was having a baby. Of course now (some 27 years later) I realise she was just living her life and (unless she hated me) didn't choose that exact week.

England still have 3 more weeks to go of GCSEs and A levels are still ongoing. Ask me how I know!
This thread has given me the absolute fear. I don’t think I could be held responsible for my actions if my NDN had done their extension now rather than 5 years ago.

There are serviced offices in most towns that offer hot desks for about £100pm. She could use one of these.

Faffing about for a year?! I imagine having plans drawn up, agreed, waiting for planning permission and so on is a drawn out, frustrating process. Not faffing around.

Would you actually say that to someone's face?

My son had to try and revise with someone using a drill hammer on the other side of his bedroom wall and they wouldn't make any concessions at all. He went elsewhere as far as poss but it was so unpredictable starting early, odd times, plus generators and mini diggers, even normal drilling is enough to make you murderous if it goes on long enough or when people are under pressy. The stress of noise is real and disruptive and so don't be surprised if you end up with a sour relationship going forward or they put in a complaint to the council.

A complaint to the council would be unhinged

My son is currently doing GCSEs. It would be awful if our neighbours were doing building works, truly awful.
You get one chance at GCSEs.
It’s totally unfair to expect the child to have to go and revise in a public library or a stranger’s office.
Home has the comfort of familiarity and support from others. They can pop to the kitchen for a chat or a snack. They can lie on their bed or put their music on. They have all their books and revision cards, laptops, notes etc - they can’t be expected to lug them down to the library or someone else’s office.
I strongly suspect those who aren’t on the side of the child would change their minds if their own child’s GCSEs were in question.
Ear plugs or music will in no way cancel out the noise or vibrations from building works.