New neighbour has asked us to stop construction on new home until daughter has finished exams.

[Grammarninja]

This is such a tricky one for me. We bought a house that needed a complete overhaul a year ago. We've finally gotten through architects, planning permission and trying to find affordable builders etc. It has been stressful.
We broke ground this week and the neighbours have asked us to stop until dd has finished her exams in 3 weeks.
I really feel for the family and can't imagine how upsetting it must be for them at this crucial time (we had no idea they had a child sitting exams this summer). My husband has offered them an office at his work around the corner to facilitate study. I wouldn't mind postponing if it wouldn't cost us 30k to do so as builders are working to a set time frame. I wouldn't even mind the extra costs we'd incur through having to stay in our current accommodation for another month if it weren't for the builders' costs which we simply can't afford.
I'm worried now that we're going to start off on a terrible note with our new neighbours which would be such a shame considering my current neighbours are like family.
Are we being unreasonable to continue with the build in these circumstances?

You can resit GCSEs as an adult you know…

Yes, have you explained it would cost 30K and offered them to cover that? At the risk of Whataboutery, some kids do their exams with rowing neighbours, roads being dug up, police turning up at all hours, parents or siblings with serious illnesses who have to go to hospital at strange times.
She could wear noise cancelling headphones-maybe offer to buy them, if you feel you must? Or just turn up the music when she's studying, like most teenagers do.
I would not suggest your husband or you offer an office, though. That could cause issues.
Honestly, whenever you do it, someone will be doing exams/have a new baby/have serious work projects/illnesses etc.
And round here, there's constant noise with kids playing out, neighbours out in their gardens on nice days etc-I'm sure many streets are even noisier!

Not read the full thread sorry. But if you explain the situation to the builders, will it definitely cost £30k?

We paused our building work when the students next door had exams (only for a week I think) and it didn't cost us anything as our builders were able to go and do other smaller jobs / finish off bits and bobs elsewhere in the meantime. I guess it depends what jobs the builders have on their books and whether they could easily move to something else temporarily.

YANBU @Grammarninja and I can’t believe how spoiled a lot of people are! I practically lived with builders for about 18 months renovating my house, as I couldn’t afford to move out while they did it.

I finished writing a book during that time. If you want to block out noise by concentrating and focusing, you can. And if you can’t, you go to a local library. Your neighbours are taking the mick.

@Grammarninja why are you even wasting thinking time on this? There is no compromise. This is the nature of renovating and building - noise. Which is why there are restrictions on times and days you work. If this was really an issue, I’m sure the government would have established stricter rules during exam periods around construction noise. Noise is always annoying, but honestly headphones, going to libraries, coffee shops, the office your DH has mentioned are all very suitable options if your neighbour really did worry about her child’s exams. I doubt her child even cares tbh. As for the other matters - know your rights, fight for your rights and be fair. Most people are not best friends with their neighbours and
most have barely any interactions. Enjoy building your new home! They will get over it. Some people on here only say things for dramatic effect and hyperbole. This is coming from a secondary school teacher if that makes you feel any better 😂

Just wanted to say I accidentally voted YABU when I meant to vote YANBU.

oh yeah. It definately sounds like they’ve spoken to their builders and said ‘yeah let’s not start this now, the kid next door has exams in 4 months so let’s wait for that to get started so we can really annoy them’.

My GCSEer has been on study leave since May 1st!!!!

I think you’re being far too kind tbh.

Many kids doing exams have noisy circumstances and go to the library, school, friends/family houses. Your husband has very kindly proposed an alternative as well.

You could perhaps ask for the schedule and maybe see if the builder can share which side of the house they’re up to, if they can agree to have a restful morning here and there but that would be extremely generous.

You have given your neighbour notice - they can sort their own schedule, noise cancelling headphones, soundproofing etc etc

They sound like real CFs - which should make it easier to say no!

I can't believe that someone has suggested that you rent them a house for 3 weeks.

Their DD can go to the library to study, if she can't use her school library - though some further edycation colleges in my city are allowing school kids to use their libraries to study if they don't have the space at home, so there may be other options.

Your husband offering her space at his office is very kind, but I'm sure that she can find somewhere herself, with family or friends. Noise cancelling headphones is something her parents can source, I don't think you should drop any over.

You can't stop the works, all you can do is make sure they're stopped at a reasonable time in the evening, so as not to disrupt her sleep, that's the key thing at this stage.

The neighbours may hold this against you, but it's unfortunate timing. You don't have to continue to placate them, and they've been so demanding that I doubt you could ever do enough for them to be happy.

You should look at local charity shops and auctions for furniture - lots of good mahogany and pine furniture going very cheap!

Buy the daughter a decent Starbucks gift card….. You won’t see her for dust. I mean obviously you’re not obligated to buy/pay for/postpone anything but it would be a nice gesture and substantially cheaper than £30k!

Give them the offer of the office space, I think that’s really kind of you btw - and explain that unfortunately you cannot hold things up any further. They’re not even attached to your house so I actually think they’re being rather ott even asking tbh!
I’m absolutely certain their dd would jump at the chance of having her own little office to study in for a short period of time - I know I would have!!
Please @Grammarninja i think they’re taking the mick tbh and you need to stop worrying over what they think of you - this is your home!

You cannot postpone (although I'm unsure why 3 weeks would cost 30k, are the builders charging 10k a week?), but if you are feeling bad, it would be really helpful if you could give them a rough schedule 'noisy workshop on these dates between these hours' so they can plan around this. You don't need to change your plans, but you can share them at no cost to you

Did you tell them when work was starting well in advance? So they had time to plan other options for their daughter? Presumably you knew a little while in advance as you moved into a rental?

Tell them how much it will cost you. And offer to let them pay it. If they won't pay £30k for their daughter they can't expect a stranger to swallow it either

OP We were in exactly the same situation as you (we had to save up to do the work, so lived in the house for 2.5 years before we did it and in that time built a strong relationship with the neighbours).

We broke ground in March 2024 and the neighbours’ son was sitting A levels that summer. I am sure all the noise was a pain but they would never have made such a request from us.

It's unfortunate but 30K plus is a huge amount of money and I'd not pay that extra either. You've been nice enough to offer you DH's office for her to study, they either take you up on it or they figure something else out.

This. I think you need to make sure that they realise you do care, but you can't afford to put off the building. I'm not sure that they would realise how expensive it would be to do so. Offering the office space or even some money for cuppas and cake if she wants to go out to revise are both good options. You aren't doing anything wrong per se, but you could muck up their daughter's future and they have every right to be livid with you.

YANBU and don’t feel bad or pander to it. The cheek of them!

My daughter would have had a complete breakdown over this, my son wouldn’t have cared less. It’s stressful living in an exam house, and you just want to help your child get through it. I’ve just had two weeks of builders next door and I was ready to scream, and I was just doing my normal job.

What a bizarre point to make. If it needs extensive building work, then if OP didn't buy it someone else would have bought it... and done extensive building work, leaving the neighbours in the same position. Unless it remains empty forever, which seems unlikely.

Plenty of local schools here open for exam pupils to study and some also running Saturday morning sessions.

@AlexaStopAlexaNo I really don't think you need to comply with this request, by telling the neighbours the costs and offering a solution you have been very neighbourly.

Good luck with the building work after such a long wait.

They have no right to be livid with her. She didn’t know they had a daughter doing exams. They can’t be livid with someone for having building work done on their house.

Some people here don’t live in the real world.

@Grammarninja just speak to them.

Tell them it will cost you £30,000 to delay which you cannot afford and then offer them the office space to revise or offer to buy her some noise cancelling earphones (show them a picture).

Your two alternatives are more than reasonable so if they are decent people then they won't be mad.

Haven’t read all the responses but the neighbours sound ridiculous! My neighbours have been ‘about to start’ building work for the past 2 years. At first I thought ‘bit annoying as it’s when dd’s a-levels are’, now my second is doing GCSEs and still no disruption. But in either case, and when they eventually get going, I wouldn’t dream of asking them to delay it because of my kids’ exams!