AIBU to think fitting homework in is so hard?

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I feel like I’m failing ds, and he’s only in reception so I know things will get worse but I can’t see how to fit it in.

Mornings are so busy and frantic. It’s the best time but we often don’t have time. Plus his sister (2) often comes in and disturbs us.

When he gets home from school he isn’t in the mood (understandable) but before bed feels like setting us up to fail as he’s so tired.

It’s just listening to him read, and learning tricky words. That’s it, and I’m struggling!

(Please don’t tell me just to read to him: I do, quite extensively but I’m not sure it makes a lot of difference in terms of his own reading!)

Could you get him home from school give him a drink and a snack and say 30 mins wind down time then do homework before tea/ dinner?

I hate the idea of homework for such small kids. What on earth are they expecting beyond maybe reading books?

DD’s primary sent almost no homework home beyond weekly spellings (only in KS2) and reading books throughout. There might have been one or two crafting tasks but outside of lockdown, no other formal homework. It’s just not necessary.

i would say with learning to read you do really need to do it with them every day. I get he’s not in the mood after school but if you make it a routine min-thur then he’ll just need to get on board with it. Or dedicate time to it at the weekends.

it is something that needs done though

Mine came home, got changed, then had something to eat and drink whilst we chatted and then any homework was done before any playing so that I wasn't taking that away to do work set by school. It is important that he understands this, this isn't you, it is school.

Starting them off this way from reception means that later when there is more homework like spellings and times tables there should be less push back. It is snack time, then work, then play, play, play.

I find it hard to fit in on working days with two DC. When DC has been at after school club they are tired. I feel like they get home, sort tea, then it is back to school work before starting the bed time routine. I'm lucky that I work part time but know that for many parents it is neccesary for both parents to work full time so the added home work feels like too much for primary school DC.

What time does he go to bed? Could you go earlier to give you time to read his school books / tricky words before he’s completely shattered and then move on to you reading to him.
It’s all about getting into a habit as it’s so much easier to stick to when it’s routine. We always did reading as part of bedtime, then when other homework was introduced that was done as soon as we walked in the door - there was always grumbling but it was so much easier to just get it over with. Now he’s at secondary and, without any nagging, he comes in and immediately does his homework. Then he can just chill.

We’ve tried to keep the same routine since DS started in Reception of:

• Home from school / after school activity
• Quick change of clothes
• Homework sat at the kitchen table
• Playtime while I cook dinner (outside, weather permitting)
• Eat dinner
• Winding down time (quieter play like colouring, puzzles, reading)
• Bath
• Bed

The days do feel long for them when they’re little, but I find that as long as I keep to the routine DS manages fine because he knows exactly what’s expected of him and still gets some downtime after school to do the things he wants to do.

Yanbu - if it feels like a battle then he won't enjoy reading. Both mine hated practising to read and were exhausted after school (both later diagnosed dyslexic, school can demand 5 x the brain power for dyslexic kids) and one never learned phonics and didn't really read until 7... now a bit older their reading ages are both now ahead of their actual age. We read to them every night and more from age 6 months and still do. Writing is another matter 😄

Maybe just try for a few times a week or at weekends. He's so tiny still.

Thank you. I think I do need to do it in the morning as that’s when he’s fresh; it’s keeping the other one out I’m really struggling with!

It is really tough. I'm lucky in that we can manage to do the reading for DD2 (reception age) reception before I start work at 8. I worked different hours when DD1 was in reception and had to do it at bedtime which was harder as she was so tired. The amount of homework in year 3 for DD1 frustrates me. 24 maths questions, spellings, times tables and reading every week.....

It is tough having a toddler involved with the reading too. I used to give the youngest a toy she didnt normally have access to while reading with DD1 or a snack bribe. Was definately a juggle!

Why do you bother? It’s reception, they don’t really have homework. If you try and force it they will hate it, morning sounds dreadful. Just let him read once a week at the weekend?

Yes, at school? My DS does it at school every day? We do it at weekends. He can read. Too much forced homework will just makes them hate it.

Keep reading to him as a priority. And carry on as long as you are both enjoying it. That makes so much difference.
I was working 4 days out of 5 when dc1 was that age.No time for homework in the mornings or after school. So we looked at his reading book in bed, even 1 page is great and any other homework was for Saturdays.

We used to do all the reading at the same time at bedtime - they’d read to me then I’d read to them. Didn’t have much choice really as they were at the childminders till 5.30 ish.

I couldn’t even imagine trying to do it in the mornings! I think my mornings must have run differently to yours!

If you put the reading book out on the kitchen table ready, sit with him and take it in turns to be the "teacher" this can help! Ask him to point to the words and you read them and vice versa. Same with the tricky words. I teach Y1 and I did this when my daughter was in Reception :)

Maybe you're over thinking what's required, kids that age don't concentrate for long so for reading it's literally just 2 or 3 pages, max 10 mins... I always felt we had to do loads but it's really better to do little and often. Can you build the reading into bedtime? We'd do "I read 5 pages, your read me 1" as our routine, it's then built up to them just silent reading to themselves for pleasure at bedtime which is a really lovely habit to develop. Any other homework like spellings I'd do at the weekend if possible, or in the morning.

We had to get into a routine. We don't do loads but reading and times tables are important. And mine have instruments to practice.

We tried all sorts, the only thing that worked was waiting until after dinner. They need a rest and food. I'd tell them they could have pudding after homework.

This routine has worked for the past few years for us. Once it's established it's not so difficult to implement.

I disagree. Mornings are stressful enough, especially with a toddler in the mix.
You need to conquer his ‘not in the mood’ period after school. A snack, drink, then homework should become routine, regardless of whether he fancies it or not. He’ll soon get the hang of it and don’t automatically. It sets him up well for as he gets older too, to have an established routine.

It’s really hard when they’re very young because bedtime is early.
I was a single parent and worked full time. There was no time before school because the rush to get us both up and ready for school and work then the drop off and mad race to work. My child would be in a childcare setting after school
with me collecting between 5.30 and 6 then off home and having to make tea. It’s basically bedtime then.
I can’t recall how I squeezed in spelling although reading was done as part of the bedtime routine.

My DS always preferred me to read to him at bedtime than do it himself. What worked was for us to read alternate pages. Me, him, me, him......

If there is one thing I regret about my (now adult) son’s time at primary school it is the time we spent struggling with homework. I wish I had just left it. Times tables and spelling I didn’t mind but everything else was a waste of his and my time and caused so much upset and stress. By the time he went to secondary school the pattern was completely established - homework was a time of conflict and anxiety. At secondary school homework is necessary and important and children at that age are old enough to develop the skills to work independently. That was made much more difficult because of having to unpick the established pattern of me ‘making’ him reluctantly engage with the work.

as it's just reading, and reading needs to be fun, I'd do it when you have 5 minutes to snuggle on the sofa and do it together. it doesn't have to be the full book every night repeated 7 times. just read with him for 5 minutes. next night do some more pages. if you finish the book sign it off and read one of his own.

more than freezing him to read, you're instilling a love of books. that will make your life easier and his richer in the long term

Thanks. I definitely agree reading to him is important but I do think he needs to practice reading his reading book to me as well. I’m also conscious he will have spellings and some maths next year too.

The toddler is also in a tricky mood at that 3-4 slot; it’s that not needing a nap but also needing one phase. I am hoping she’ll grow out of it soon!

After school he needs a snack then homework.
Then time to play while you make dinner bath and bed. It's a good routine when you get into it

It is but it just doesn’t work because of my younger one. She would never let me sit and read with him.