AIBU to think fitting homework in is so hard?

[purpletick]

I feel like I’m failing ds, and he’s only in reception so I know things will get worse but I can’t see how to fit it in.

Mornings are so busy and frantic. It’s the best time but we often don’t have time. Plus his sister (2) often comes in and disturbs us.

When he gets home from school he isn’t in the mood (understandable) but before bed feels like setting us up to fail as he’s so tired.

It’s just listening to him read, and learning tricky words. That’s it, and I’m struggling!

(Please don’t tell me just to read to him: I do, quite extensively but I’m not sure it makes a lot of difference in terms of his own reading!)

theconversation.com/primary-school-children-get-little-academic-benefit-from-homework-181652

We used to do it at bedtime: 5 minutes of him reading to me / DH; then adult read to child. (Different books obvs.)

I do agree that little and often works better for most small children.

Mornings definitely worked best for this house. DS would come and get into bed with me and we'd read his book together then I'd read him something else before the others were up for the day. Or we'd do it at breakfast when the younger DD was distracted by eating.

Sometimes reading the book wasn't the best way though. Can make 'snap' cards with the main/tricky words and turn it into a game, or put them around the house and if you find them you read them. Integrate reading into every day activities. 5 minute mum has some great ideas.

Now it's DD's turn and pretty much the only way to do it is to have the book ready at the table to read it once we've finished eating. DS goes and keeps himself busy for a bit or sometimes is the one who listens and helps DD, but we're not as diligent as we were the first time around 🫣

I wouldn’t class reading as homework it’s just practice but is necessary. Over summer hols I carried on with her reading daily (used reading chest subscription) and her reading absolutely took off.

Once a week isn’t enough. It needs to be every day.

I've never seen reading as homework, more an enjoyable, essential life skill (and non negotiable home activity at primary age). Possibly because I'm a Year 1 teacher, love reading myself and had two boys who enjoyed reading when younger and didn't struggle with it thankfully. My two definitely needed time to chill out when they got home from school, and mornings were always rushed as none of us are keen on getting up so it was part of our bedtime routine. DS would read to us and then we would read to them. Luckily DH was usually home for bedtime so we could divide and conquer (we read to them nightly from being babies....DS2 was maybe nearer 18months before he'd sit still enough to listen... so when they started school we just added their school books in before story).
Little and often really does benefit them and despite what others have said here, most schools dont have the staff for children to be reading 1:1 on a daily basis, so practice at home is invaluable.

op can't you do 5 minutes as part of bed routine? it doesn't need to be a whole book. just a few pages a night

I have an older primary school child, so homework is ramping up.

The long-term solution which seems to be working best for us, especially now that DC is meant to be completing homework semi-independently, is doing homework immediately after school. So either straight through the door and sat down at the kitchen table, while I'm tidying or making dinner, or even in the car after school or waiting for DC's swimming lesson, or (now that the weather is nicer) in the park across the road on a picnic blanket. I prefer getting the homework done out of the house if possible so it doesn't 'taint' our relaxing time at home, but otherwise, as far as I'm concerned, 'home time' doesn't start until homework is completed. I find it much more pain-free for both DC and me to treat homework as an extension of the school day, rather than to start relaxing and have to pick it up again. So it's done before anything else and then packed into the school bag, which is put at the front door for the next day.

I'm hoping that getting DC into the habit of doing homework before anything else after school, and then 'switching off', will significantly reduce stress levels when secondary starts.

Reading is different - the school don't send home regular reading books anymore, but I listen to DC read for a few minutes every evening, and then read a chapter of whatever he's reading to him while he's going to sleep.

Thanks for these suggestions. The car is possible but I have to be next to him; he sits in the back with the toddler as well so not totally sure how that would work practically!

@LittlePinkDinosaur but there is a difference between reading for pleasure, and learning to read with the sort of books ds has to read to me (I’m sure you know the sort; rock pools are lots of fun; look it is a red fox sort of thing.)

We have a house full of books but one thing I’ve come to understand through DS’s reception journey is that while reading to a child it’s important you also have to read with them and listen to them read. At the moment I’m trying to do that in the mornings, but I wondered what others typically did.

I let one of my DTs get out of their car seat to sit in the front seat next to me to read then when he's finished they swap over. It's not a failsafe solution but they seem to be able to concentrate more in the morning and unlike at home they can't get up and wander off as they are contained in the front seat! Good luck, I know it's not easy trying to persuade them to read when they just don't enjoy it and the books are so boring!

I completely agree with you @purpletick - I read to mine a lot, and that develops a love of books... but they also need to be able to read them! And unfortunately reading books are a bit dull. I read with my son before school for ten mins. We do breakfast, then reading and getting ready, and then play before leaving for school. The faster he settles to read the more time he has to play. I have a four year old and a two year old and the two year old stays in the room playing quietly or sat on my lap to listen too. But it they are loud then they have to go out of the room. They are now really good. Also to make it more interesting I also write my son stories to read (just half a page of A4 in big letters) to add variety. I used the same level of words as the books.

Ah I’d have a load of whingeing from the toddler. (I really hope this phase ends soon; I’m sure it will <crosses fingers>) Just keep feeling like I am failing ds.

No. Bringing up children.

As it's just ten mins, can you plonk toddler in front of paw patrol so you can focus on your son? I think your worries are founded to be honest, regular homework I don't care about but reading practice is crucial.

Just don't call it "homework", surely reading, spelling and learning their time tables etc. is basic skills you practice with them anyway.

If a Primary school child has reading homework every single day, complain to the teacher: they should have a chance to read their own books for pleasure, not have to solely focus on the school books who are not always the most fascinating.

Other schools have a reading diary, so they can have "reading homework" but most evening is just read whatever the child want. You would do it even if he wasn't going to school

that's a bit of an over-reaction when it's just about "reading", don't you read with your kids anyway?

What does your after school look like? Does he get picked up at 3.45 say or does he do after school club ?

are you also fitting in a nursery run? Working?

If he’s home by 4 then in theory there is plenty of time for a snack and some downtime, then homework, then tea and play before bedtime. But it depends what else you are fitting in.

If he’s in wraparound till 6 then I don’t see when it gets done either!!

I have 3 girls, we didnt do any homework until the year before they started highschool just to get them used to scheduling it in.

Im much more in favour of a sport or extra circular activity over any homework and think there is no need or use for it until high school age.

We did/do read a book to them every night before bed.

I collect him at 315 and it’s usually around 340 when we get home. In theory I agree there’s plenty of time! It’s more about the actual personalities at play. If I just had Ds I’d probably be able to manage with a combination of coercion and bribery but dd in the mix makes it tricky. We have mostly been managing in the morning but I just really wish I had a bit more time to hear him read and to practice the tricky words and digraphs and sounds he’s learned.

Could DS read to DD so she feels included and doesn’t demand separate attention? I know this may be a bit optimistic at their respective stages!! Or DD has her own book that she “reads” to be like DS… I can see this could only last a minute or two though.

I had the same ages, it was a while ago, trying to remember how I managed! I possibly did rely on Cbeebies a bit 😳

I wish she’d just bugger off and watch it; I have no issue at all using screens for such moments, but she won’t, not if she senses ds is getting time and one to one with me.

These are the things they don’t tell you when you have two 😩

Yes dd sitting with you might be an option. So get home. Snack/play then sit down together to do reading. My dh learned to read sitting with his mum and year older sibling.

Based on your update, I'd do the reading in the car after school with DS in the front seat (obviously not when the car is moving!), and the toddler strapped in the back. Get some toddler sticker books or exciting toys that the toddler only has in the car, to distract them for 10-15 minutes or so. And then DS does the reading, and gets his snack and a 'well done' sticker on the way home.

And then you reach home and it's all out of the way. I think this could become a habit that would make your life a lot easier.

It's not about 'boot camp' but it's about ingraining habits that make everyday life run more smoothly and feel less painful. I am naturally disorganised and lack executive function, so if I find something that naturally works and involves less effort for me, I'm literally cheering aloud.

My younger one used to jump all over me and climb into my lap when I was trying to help the older one with reading/homework. She doesn't do that anymore, but still interrupts constantly and is a bit of a pain if we're doing it in the house. She's better out and about, if contained in a buggy/car seat.