AIBU to think fitting homework in is so hard?

[purpletick]

I feel like I’m failing ds, and he’s only in reception so I know things will get worse but I can’t see how to fit it in.

Mornings are so busy and frantic. It’s the best time but we often don’t have time. Plus his sister (2) often comes in and disturbs us.

When he gets home from school he isn’t in the mood (understandable) but before bed feels like setting us up to fail as he’s so tired.

It’s just listening to him read, and learning tricky words. That’s it, and I’m struggling!

(Please don’t tell me just to read to him: I do, quite extensively but I’m not sure it makes a lot of difference in terms of his own reading!)

It gets easier, I know that is not helpful right now. E.g. reading in the car - as they don't need you to help them read the words, it can be a good time for them to read out loud. My DCs always loved reading but the school books were a chore, so we often got them out of the way like this and then at night read what they wanted (usually taking turns).

Honestly, making reading fun (e.g. the time you read to him at night) is better in the long run than forcing him to read when he doesn't want to.

It might be worth seeing if you can get some 'Read it yourself' books from the library. They have a detailed story for the adult to read with simpler sentences for the child to join in.
https://www.ladybirdeducation.co.uk/books/read-it-yourself/

problem is
Monday we get in at 4.45 at earliest.

snack makes it 5.
5 minutes maths with 2 kids, 10 minutes with 1. they all need support. 5 minutes reading each.
add in change over times and it's 5.45 at best. and I've not cooked dinner.
Tuesdays we get in at 7.15 after going straight to Beavers.
Wednesday is just before 4 so normal time. we have time
Thursday I drop 2 with a grandmother and I'm home with eldest for 8.
Friday is normal time, just before 4.

eldest needs support with maths as do younger ones

mornings there definitely isn't 45 minutes for homework in-between getting 3 kids up, fed, dressed and out for 8.20.

it's easy to say "well it's easy for me and my child so it's easy for everyone unless you're useless, but lives are different. kids are different. not everyone is as perfect a parent as you 🙄

I would Def try and share the reading at bed time. read his class book, alt pages. then a fun book. depending on how often it's swapped, another night read it the other way round. tricky words, just do weekends. we do them walking about, spelling out loud. sot down for 5 minutes and practise a few. give him the sheet to read on the way to Grandma's. just here and there.

Yes I have one child

but when I was a nanny I had 2/3/4 and still managed to fit in homework , sometimes for 2 school ages while sorting out a baby and toddler , tea and clubs

school recommend little and often. Hence the 5 mins a day - doesn’t need to be for 15/20 mins and kids get ratty and lost interest

if you find am better then do it then

Haha. And when I was a teacher I got thirty to do it Anyone who has attempted homeschooling during Covid can doubtless confirm … very different with your own!

It’s true you do just have to do what works. I’m ensuring it’s done but I do always worry it is not enough.

Oh true. I am not a teacher !! If you attempt to do it then don’t worry - isn’t that what you would tell your pupils parents

I used to do reading in the morning at the breakfast table - definitely worked better when they were not tired. If the toddler is difficult can’t you have her sit on your lap while DS reads to both of you? Then she is getting attention too? I feel your pain as I had to do reception homeschooling with a two year old in tow during Covid but we managed it somehow and he went back to school ahead in reading.

Alternatively, if DS is not too tired at bedtime that seems to be the time you have with him and without DD.

You haven’t answered the questions about a partner so I assume you are doing this all on your own but of course the best solution would be for your partner to take DD or to listen to DS read.

What are you doing from 3.30 - bedtime?? I struggle to fill this time if I’m being completely honest! We eat dinner around 4.30 and then have 3 hours till bath and bed, and have bags of time for reading / relaxing/ playing, I’m genuinely curious what others do in this time

I have had this issue and it’s really hard. I’ve found it’s evolved slowly to get easier. My daughter is now five and I also have a 20 month old. We have now got a bedtime routine where my eldest reads to us both in bed (usually a book of her choice rather than a schoolbook). I usually breastfeed the toddler while she is reading or give the toddler her own book to play with. It’s taken us a while to get to this point. At the beginning when her reading was slow I would let her do ten minutes and then I would take over. If she was tired sometimes I would just read to her. But as her reading as improved she has become keen to read to us. I’m a working single mum and this seems to be the only time in the day I’m able to do this so I do understand how hard it is. It will get easier as his reading gets better.

Depends, normally they just play a bit.

Theoretically I could do it then but like I say ds just isn’t particularly eager to read at this time and dd is very demanding. It’s that time of day I get tears and wailing over nothing.

so 4-5 play 5-6 dinner and a bit of TV, 6 onwards bath / bed.

You don’t mention a partner, but if you have one where are they in the evening? Could one of you bath DD while the other one listens to DS read?
If you don’t have a partner, could you maybe have them sat either side of you on the sofa. Give DD a book to look at while you listen to DS read? You could alternate between them. This would give DS a rest every few pages. Or phrase it that DS is reading to you both?

No, DH isn’t around in the evening.

Is DH around in the morning to deal with DD while DS reads? If he is never there, and DD will never let you read with DS, you will have to do what you can in the week (DS reading to DD, DS reading while DD eats or another of the many suggestions here) and spend more focussed time reading with DS at weekends.

DD will get easier but there may be more homework as DS goes up the school - then you end up in a situation where you are trying to listen to DD read while DS is mithering you for help with a maths worksheet! It’s all part of the juggle and you will work out ways to manage - especially
if you are a teacher, you’re probably much better at it than the rest of us.

Read to him stories in the week, get him to read to you both days of the weekend and in half-terms. That's enough, believe me. Our school asks them to read 3 times a week and can include stories read to them.

Regular reading at primary age is the only "homework" proven to help academic achievement, but its about loving stories and hearing the vocabulary as much as it is about practising phonics.

My eldest son Has ADHD and is a July baby to boot, and he has always hated practising his reading at home, we have never done it more than 3 times a week, but I have read to him every night since he was 8weeks old as part of his bedtime routine (we miss a couple now he has evening clubs) and at nine he is a great reader (though he does skim and guess...but that's the adhd) and he loves to write stories too.

You dont want to force it too much when tired or rushed and lose the love of reading and stories.

Set the routine now and it will make it easier for you as he gets older. Home, snack and drink at the table then homework. It's always better to get it out of the way than to have it hanging over you. It's 15 minutes maximum at this age so stop making a fuss.

To be honest, we only let him read to us on weekends. During the week, we read him three stories every night, and that’s it. They’re still so young, and they’ll be fine! My son is very articulate, and his teacher hasn’t mentioned any areas for improvement. So whatever we’re doing seems to be working well for now. I want him to be a kid for as long as he can. I already feel guilty that he’s at school until 6 p.m. every day.