Dr saying this isn't perimenopause

[JoyousSquid]

I am about to turn 43 and am pretty sure I'm going through perimenopause – my skin has become unbelievably dry (particularly around my face), my periods are now much shorter (1-2 days) but really heavy, I'm all of a sudden suffering from really bad motion sickness (never been an issue), my hair is changing, I feel irritable and very anxious, and I find myself crying at Instagram posts. I went to see my GP (who is elderly and male) and he very helpfully told me I'm "far too young" to be going through perimenopause and that I probably had PCOS (despite this never being an issue and I've also had several internal scans when getting fertility testing done). AIBU to say this is ridiculous?! I have several friends on HRT who have said it's amazing and I want to talk about options with my GP but he insists that I'm not going through peri...

@JoyousSquid When you say Motion Sickness, do you mean car sick if you're a passenger?

Because if so, that's been me for the last decade. DH insists on driving half the time and I have the window open and really struggle not to lose my cookies IYSWIM.

As far as the periods - mine got v heavy with no warning, and shorter, then went AWOL for 3 months, then came back but heavy or light - there was no predicting that. That was a few yrs ago, but I'm 10 yrs older than you.

Yes, your hair may change. I'm still trying to find a shampoo that works. Probably your nails too.

Get a new GP and take it from there.

💐 <hug>

eta I forgot to say - you might forget stuff. 🤦🏻‍♀️

Invest in a good diary. Write everything down - especially your cycle/symptoms.
Don't worry about being angry/crying etc - it's hormones. You won't control it.
I do think you might need to consider HRT - discuss it with your NEW GP, not the old guy.

Drs are taught very little (if anything at all) about menopause, perimenopause and women's health in general. It sounds like your GP hasn't taken the time to educate themselves, so I would look for a practice with a GP that has menopause as a special interest (I've seen several where this is specified of their websites).

Those seem like class perimenopause symptoms to me. You are absolutely NOT too young. Perimenopause started at 37 for me. That said, it's important to check other possible causes of your symptoms as well (and not just dismiss you, as many GPs would).

I recommend you go back and see a younger GP who is hopefully more up to date.
I started peri at 42. Peri can last ten years (possibly more).
Blood tests don’t necessarily give any answers as hormones fluctuate so much. They should be taking your symptoms more seriously.

It's not always elderly male doctors who fob you off. A female doctor who I'd previously held in high regard fobbed me off. I felt dreadful physically, hair, skin had dried out and emotionally I was up and down but on the back of blood tests (everything was "within range") I was made to feel like a basket case.

All fine - not - until I collapsed and ended up in A&E, when it turned out to be an overactive thyroid. It was a miserable experience.

Dear reader, once I was capable I changed surgery.

Well, he's clearly far out of date and doesn't seem to have heard of perimenopause 🙄 but it's nothing to do with being male or elderly. I had an utterly shite female GP, my current GP is also female but is following the NICE guidelines and giving me proper care. My friend had an older male GP who was excellent and very sympathetic when she went to him to discuss her peri symptoms

What we want and need us for ALL GPs and healthcare staff to be following the bloody guidelines!

Another suggestion OP is to use the Balance app - it's free and you can record your symptoms, exercise, nutrition, sleep and periods so that you have data over time to show what's going on in your body

Do you take any contraceptive pill now? I found going back onto Femodene for a couple of years sorted out my low oestrogen symptoms after being on desogestrel only for a few years while I still needed contraception. Then I stopped taking anything to see if my periods had stopped naturally. Have to say the vaginal symptoms never returned fortunately but I started to get brain fog with a vengeance and my sleep became worse. I'm now on combined HRT, brain fog much better and sleep is better also.

You can also get HRT privately with Boots online doctor etc. It cost like, £48 for three months' supply.

Blood tests would indicate if you are perimenopausal, have you had those?

I’m hypothyroid. Drs of both sexes seem to be awful at treating thyroid problems. It seems to be purely a numbers game for them, within range = normal and how you actually feel is irrelevant. I even saw a private endocrinologist and he was just as bad.

Find your voices ladies. You have to advocate for yourself and do it with total conviction.

That's all very well to say, but we see absolute hypochondriacs on here, as well as those who are at the other extreme and brushing off a broken leg as "a bit sore". It's like when people say, "a mother knows best," when they very often don't.
It's also difficult to have total conviction without being a trained medic. Some women experience awful symptoms of the menopause, whose to say the headaches aren't as bad as aneurysm headaches? Also some people are strong as oxes whilst others are total wimps.
It just isn't as simple as "finding your voices".

Blood tests are useless unless you do them for a prolonged period.
I was peri in my early-40s.
He sounds useless @JoyousSquid
I’m sorry, it’s bloody scandalous that women have to go through this shit. Can you print off the NICE guidelines and go back and simply tell him you want HRT? Or, if you can’t be arsed, and quite frankly I couldn’t be, cos I simply do not have the patience anymore to deal with this kind of BS, I’d switch surgeries.

(But I would be inclined to fire off a letter to the Practice Manager - cos it’s not acceptable)

Good luck - HRT is a game changer

All the endocrinologists I saw were completely charmless. It seems to be that the bedside manners or empathy is an optional extra.

I think you are also jumping the gun, we've swung too far the other way and are now attributing everything to peri menopause. This risks missing other, often more serious, things going on l.

My GP friend who is well versed and even published on female health, says almost every female over 35 thinks their issues are peri menopause now and in a week she's had women claiming this for things as wide as COVID (tired, brain fog), anaemia, possible cervical cancer, Endometriosis, POCS and even pregnancy.

Exactly - see above case of an aneurysm being caused by hormones.

Good grief! What is wrong with these doctors?! I've had both PCOS and (peri)menopause, they are not the same. Your symptoms do not sound like PCOS. I'm not saying I'm more qualified than a GP but having experienced both (which he absolutely has not) I say get a second opinion. Maybe find an article on peri from BMS website and refer to it in your next appointment.
Good luck xx

The one I saw certainly was charmless. He seemed horrified at being told I’m retired, told me I was far too young (I was 64 at the time) and asked in an incredulous tone if I was happy!

Hard agree.

I had a hysterectomy (kept my ovaries) at 43 and within a year was experiencing perimenopausal symptoms - insomnia, anxiety, dry skin, itch, hot flushes, loss of confidence. I saw two middle aged, female GPs 3 times over the course of about 2 years as things got progressively worse and I was sent away with prescriptions for anti-depressants and recommendations for Headspace. Even though they could clearly see on my notes I had had a hysterectomy. They were dismissive and condescending. They did not listen. This is a common theme from women on various menopause forums.

Sorted now, but mainly through my own research and sharing experience with other women.

Blood tests aren’t accurate as hormones fluctuate over the day. Also you’re 45 so you can get HRT based on symptoms alone. I would read up on it all and then go back and see a different GP.

Also your GP is talking shit.

I don't think he's unreasonable for wanting to check for other things before attributing your problems to perimenopause as yes, 43 is on the younger side to be experiencing strong perimenopause symptoms and it's important not to dismiss all women's health issues over forty as 'peri, have some HRT, go away' while failing to rule out other causes.

He is, however, unreasonable for telling you it couldn't be perimenopause at this stage. It could be. That's not to say it definitely is, but it certainly could be.

My blood is so boiling at entrenched medical mysogyny. I see it so clearly in so many places and because it is so disempowering it really really makes me rage. (Yes, I am post-menopause: how can I channel this rage effectively?)

My periods stopped completely at 45 so yes, at 43 I would have been in peri.

Your GP is talking BOLLOCKS.

Well perimenopause can last for years and you can become pregnant during it, so that doesn't really prove it's not.

I had a female doctor say the same thing to me your far to young, i said there are younger people than me going through it.

Snap. Blood tests show diddlisquat for peri as it could catch you on a day where everything is ok.

You need another GP and a lot of persistence.

It took me 18 months of cycle tracking, blood tests, lifestyle changes to ‘prove’ that peri was highly likely and to get HRT. Within a week I was a different woman which was all the Dr then needed to confirm and prescribe long term.

I know 2 people who had an early menopause early 40s

So yes you may well have peri menopause

Itchy skin
Poor sleep
Hot flushes
Poor memory
Anger
Dont give a xxxx !!!
Sharp tingles
Hair changes
Bone aches & pains
Headaches

yes - exactly this! I've never had motion sickness in cars before and the past few months has been horrible.. I had no idea that it was even remotely related to peri until I was looking at symptoms online after going to dr. I get horribly nauseous and then it just continues. This morning I had to travel in a car for 40 minutes and have been feeling really queasy since (6+ hours)...

I will get the blood tests to rule anything else out, but from what I've read my symptoms are all textbook peri and I just want to discuss my options around HRT with an understanding / educated GP or nurse! (not be dismissively told I'm "far too young" 😡)