Dr saying this isn't perimenopause

[JoyousSquid]

I am about to turn 43 and am pretty sure I'm going through perimenopause – my skin has become unbelievably dry (particularly around my face), my periods are now much shorter (1-2 days) but really heavy, I'm all of a sudden suffering from really bad motion sickness (never been an issue), my hair is changing, I feel irritable and very anxious, and I find myself crying at Instagram posts. I went to see my GP (who is elderly and male) and he very helpfully told me I'm "far too young" to be going through perimenopause and that I probably had PCOS (despite this never being an issue and I've also had several internal scans when getting fertility testing done). AIBU to say this is ridiculous?! I have several friends on HRT who have said it's amazing and I want to talk about options with my GP but he insists that I'm not going through peri...

Presuming he has done a full health check and blood tests to rule out anything else obvious, what else could it be? These were my exact symptoms when I started HRT at 45, and I had been having them for more than a year.

He sounds rather clueless. Could you see a different GP?

I had to ask several times for him to refer me for blood tests (these are now booked for next week) but yes I think I am going to have to find a new GP. It's absolutely ridiculous that a male GP is telling a 43 year old woman she's "too young" for perimenopause... I'm feeling pretty angry about it (but that could also just be another fun symptom!🙃)

The motion sickness is not something I was expecting - and it's awful!

A blood test will give you the answer

He sounds a bit shit to be honest.
He's made an assumption based on age that it isn't perimenopause but not then offered any kind of tests to find out what it is, if it isn't perimenopause.
You've had to push him to refer you for blood tests.
He should have done that without having to be pushed.

The symptoms are real so if it's not peri it needs to be investigated to find out what it is.

Is there another GP in the practice you can go to?

As you know, you're absolutely not 'far too young' and those symptoms definitely sound like peri to me.

What are the blood tests that you're having next week?

I can't recommend HRT enough by the way. Combined with exercise, nutrition and managing stress, it's made my life so much better

Some women have fibroids, and there are other things that could cause heavy periods now, so it's actually good if he's going to investigate and check.
Might well be peri (though a lot of women don't experience it this young), but it is better if he checks, because if it was something that a simple op could sort, then it's best to know. Some docs are the opposite of yours, and seem to use peri as a reason for any symptoms in mid-life women (even when those women turn out to be pregnant years later).

Sounds like peri to me too. Once the blood tests show it, you can ask for hrt if it is suitable for you.

I had a simliar experience with an older male GP, who seemed unaware of the perimenopause and just kept saying that you cannot be menopausal if you are still having periods. I used my company health insurance to see a specialist. My local surgery now has a 'women's health' nurse, who is geat, as long as you are prepared to wait for 8 weeks to see her. Does your surgery have a specialist nurse on their team?

Ask to see another GP. Also ask if any of the docs specialise in women's health. My surgery get in a GP from the county GU Med team to run clinics every month, she's wonderful.

A blood test won't necessarily prove peri. Mine didn't. It took overwhelming symptoms and 3 years of arguing with doctors before one listened and gave me HRT anyway and I never looked back.

So yes, find another doctor and be prepared to fight your corner, and not just settle for SSRIs and all the other things they might suggest first. The fact that so many women have this struggle is utterly infuriating.

See another GP after blood tests. When I was perimenopausal GP said blood tests at this stage don't always show it, as hormone levels will be going up and down, she believed in the symptoms (unless the blood tests are to rule other things out).

Tell him you want blood tests on everyday of your cycle - that’s the only way to rule out perimenopause, most GP’s can’t be arsed with that so just hand over the patches.

The medical gaslighting of women is appalling. I know a woman in her late 40s who was complaining of migraines for months. The Dr palmed it off as hormonal headaches due to her age.

She had a brain aneurism a few weeks later that has left her with permanent disability.

Find your voices ladies. You have to advocate for yourself and do it with total conviction.

I'd need to look at the paperwork – but I think it's a full work up?

He was just so dismissive when I mentioned that I thought it was peri – and even said women don't need to worry about that until they're near 50.. My friends say the same about HRT and I'm really struggling at the moment so want someone I can talk to properly about it, not someone who just dismisses me! I've shifted my fitness to more strength / weights training (rather than cardio) and gave up alcohol last year which has been really good for me.

Useless doctors. Not too early. I started symptoms around 45 I just didn't recognise them as quickly as I would do now.

I'm not sure if my surgery has a women's health nurse – but I was speaking to a friend who lives nearby who said her surgery does so I think I might just switch GPs and see someone else. I don't think I'm going to be able to have a proper, informed conversation with my current GP

Just to say he’s way out of touch with things if he thinks you don’t need to consider it till 50- NICE guidance is to diagnose on symptoms alone from 45!!

It is, and sadly it is not just male doctors either.

Blood tests are largely considered useless for confirming Meno.

I turned 50 in Jan and am now in Meno, no longer in peri.

HRT probably saved my life.

Nope, and somehow that feels even worse that other women can be so dismissive.

I started symptoms at 39/40. My mum hit actual menopause at 50, so that's on track if peri can be 10 years. Took me nearly 3 to get HRT, after running through every birth control and anti depressants the GP could think of.
Anxiety cleared up within a week of HRT.

The damage done to my life in those three years.... doesn't bear thinking about.

Trust yourself and keep fighting. And look for a useful group on Facebook. V informative.

"medical gaslighting" is the perfect description for how it felt! His whole attitude was just so dismissive and he clearly has zero idea of the realities of women's health.

Your poor friend, that is disgraceful.

Could well be peri but I hope he’s ordered a thyroid function test as your symptoms all fit hypothyroidism too.

No it won't

I now just ask to see a female GP (not that I even care about their gender) to avoid my assigned male GP after a few awful run ins with him. Just do that when the results are back. Or check whether there is a menopause / women’s health nurse.