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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I can’t do this anymore, how is any of this remotely enjoyable?

94 replies

Atghuu · Yesterday 08:35

DS is 3.5,

Ex sees him every couple of weeks for a day or so at a weekend. He won’t have him overnight, I’ve asked.

I work full time and from the MOMENT I open my eyes to the moment DS goes to bed I feel utterly got at. My job is very hard and I have huge responsibilities and even going to work feels like a holiday.

I am so emotionally exhausted I can barely type this but it’s things like shouting, suddenly having a tantrum out of the blue, the CONSTANT questions to the point I can’t even think some mornings. The whining. Oh my god it’s awful.

i try my best I really do. Always apologise if I’ve got cross. Always chat on the way to nursery and try and really listen. We do nice things together at weekends and I collect him early from nursery wherever possible so he’s never home later than 5 and we have a proper evening together.

I just can’t bear the moaning and the whinging and the tantrums. I just hate it. I don’t have any moments for myself in the week (and a lot of weekends are like this too), it’s just horrendous at the moment

OP posts:
OriginalUsername2 · Yesterday 10:36

I’d keep annoying asking the ex for overnights until he starts doing it.

Passaggressfedup · Yesterday 10:38

I was a single mum of two from the age of 1 and 3. I worked FT and commuted to work. Stressful and demanding job and no help. Like you, their dad only saw them a few hours on the Saturday, never overnight. No family help.

All I have to say is hang on. It's tough, very tough, but you'll get through it AND, you'll be proud of yourself one day. Your child will also understand all you did for them

My two are now young adults and are amazing. The pride in knowing that I've managed to raise two amazing people alone makes it all worth it.

Just hang on, take it one day at the time, and tell yourself everyday that you are amazing. Leave the guilt behind. You don't need to be a perfect parent to raise great kids, just need to be dedicated and persistent.

trockodile · Yesterday 10:38

My advice is to keep life very simple and predictable for ds. If they know what is happening (home, tea, bath, story, bed etc) then they are likely to chill out a bit more. At weekends, don’t fill your time with activities and friends-try getting down on the floor and building Duplo/trains-lots of parallel play that is extremely low key. Play in the garden, or at a park-this age don’t need lots of new experiences. It’s fine to be a bit boring, just do things together while trying to destress yourself at the same time.

RobertBobsee · Yesterday 10:42

Whilst your son is still nursery age take some days off for you, not with him, he still goes to nursery you get to do whatever you like. Once he starts school a lot of your holiday will be taken up covering part of the 13 weeks holidays they are off school so take advantage now of having holidays and days to yourself.

This does not mean you are selfish, it means you are human. Take time for you, that can just be a day of doing nothing, it doesn't need to be productive.

Bobloblawww · Yesterday 10:44

You can absolutely train them out of the whining.

“Sorry I can’t hear you properly because you’re whining. Let’s try again”

Over and over. It works.

RobinEllacotStrike · Yesterday 10:53

Oh I remember this phase OP - it's not great. Couple of useful tips I remember:

Things that helped me (I was alo single parent to young DC):
I never bought DC's "treats" when we were in the shop. I was often in the shops with them and I would never buy sweets/magazines etc - so my DC never asked for these items in the shops. If they had magazine/sweets etc it was seperate from the shops if you know what I mean - so there was no whinging for crap in shops.

Ask one - answer, ask again- answer. Asks thrid time I realy "Asked and answered" - cuts the peskering over and over.

Is he worse when hungery? I had one child who sufferend badly from hanger - keep healthy snacks to hand.

mogtheexcellent · Yesterday 10:57

Please stop collecting him early from nursery so you can have a little time for yourself.

INeedaDietcoke · Yesterday 10:57

OP it sounds like you are doing amazingly. I have 2, and I finish work between 5 and 5.30. Very rarely do I go and get them before 6pm. I need half an hour to myself, sometimes it's the first opportunity I've had to have a shower that day, or to run the hoover round or tidy up the general shitshow that is our house.

Please don't run yourself ragged or feel guilty if he stays at nursery a bit longer some days. Give yourself some time and grace. He is safe, he is having fun, he can cope there for another 60 minutes.

JLou08 · Yesterday 11:00

Stop picking him up from nursery early. He will be none the wiser if you take half an hour to yourself to decompress but it might do you the world of good and make things more tolerable. They do tend to chill out a bit when they start school. Life is still busy but they're easier to reason with and better able to entertain themselves.

Sassylovesbooks · Yesterday 11:02

My son was more difficult at 3, than 2. He was older, so tested those boundaries more often. My son is a chatter box (he's now 15, so things are much calmer!) and there were days when I wanted to say 'will you shut up'! Obviously, I never said anything of the sort, but it drove me absolutely bonkers.

You are a single parent, who works full-time and has to do virtually all parenting. That in itself is hard, without having a 3.5 year who moans and whines!

It will get better as your son becomes older. I echo others in that if you have some annual leave. Take a day off for you, but still sending your son to nursery. Do you have grandparents near by, who could help occasionally?.

Tabarnak · Yesterday 11:05

It gets easier.

At that age any whining I said " I can't hear you if you speak in a whiny voice, I can only hear happy voices" - that worked.

And I often answered a question or request with Yes / no / they can breathe underwater (etc) AND THAT'S THE END OF IT . I used that consistently and grey rocked any further engagement after ever saying it.

Obviously we had lots of quality time - they need to know that there will be 10 mins of uninterrupted 1-2-1 when you stop work / before the day starts, and the same with story / bed time.

Good luck!

Pinkflamingo10 · Yesterday 11:06

Not the same situation as you but some similarities in that I felt at breaking point and constantly running on the hamster wheel. I also have no family support, husband away with work a lot and when he’s home is gone before breakfast and back after bedtime. I had to drop one morning of work every week- while the children were in nursery - I would have 3-4 hours ALONE. I would spend it recharging, so naps, walks /jogs, reading, long showers, sipping hot tea and enjoying the silence etc. I made a rule that it could not be spent on the housework grind. It was me time.

LT1233 · Yesterday 11:20

Does your employer do flexi time/TOIL? When I was single mum I used to take full advantage of the nursery opening and closing hours, accrue a load of extra time at work and get a TOIL day a few times a month, where I'd blast all my cleaning, shopping and admin etc while my son was in nursery. It does get easier though as they get more independent (however, then you might start grappling with their hobbies and activities in the evenings!) I personally LOVED the ages of 4 - 9 are you're nearly there (but nothing ever prepares you for how utterly horrific the teenage years are though)

GreenHuia · Yesterday 11:25

I find it helpful to remember that DC is the most important thing in my world, but I am their whole world and their safe space - all those big feelings are coming out because DS knows you love him so much no matter what.
I also bought some sand timers and a colourful wall clock and when I need some time to myself (either to get jobs done or just to have a few minutes peace) I use them to help DC understand when I will be available to play again (e.g. when the blue hand gets to the red number 6 or when all the green sand gets to the bottom of the timer).

WhereYouLeftIt · Yesterday 11:48

"even going to work feels like a holiday."
I remember that feeling well! Adult company and conversation, being able to get things done and dusted not just kept on top of, sense of achievement not just being on the relentless treadmill - I was so happy being at work then!

First thing - cut yourself some slack.

Consider Rule 1 of First Aid - the first aider has to attend to their own safety before aiding another. Similarly, the Safety Instructions on an airplane - adults must put their own oxygen mask on before putting the masks on their children. These both spring from the same reality - not taking care of yourself first reduces your usefulness to others. In first aid, rushing to someone's aid before checking the scene could have you electrocuted/gassed as well, giving the next person two people to aid. Putting your children's mask on first could have you passing out from lack of oxygen, leaving your child breathing but panicking and alone.

So, before you attend to your child's needs, you need to ensure there is a functional adult available to attend to your child's needs. That means taking care of yourself FIRST. Only then are you able to turn your attention to your son. It isn't selfish to do so.

Next up, your son's moaning and whining and tantrums. Dear God, it's wearing!

What worked for me was listening to the moan and deciding whether he had a point or not. If he had a point (e.g. his feet actually hurt or he was actually hungry) I'd address that. If he was just moaning through boredom or habit (e.g. I don't want to be here) he got short shrift and basically told to suck it up. Consistency is your friend. Whining for whining's sake never got him anything.

Whining, as in whiny voice - 'I can't hear your words when you speak in that voice, you need to speak in your normal voice'. Consistently.

Endless questions - if the same questions are repeated; answer once, answer twice adding that you've already answered, third time don't answer but say there's no point in asking a question if he doesn't listen to the answer, you've told him the answer twice already. If it's endless different questions; you're asking for asking's sake, I want you to decide what you want to know most and ask only that.

You are doing fantastically well, please believe that. At 3.5, you are in the absolute trenches right now and the sheer relentlessness makes it very hard to keep going. But it will get better, it really will. But in the meantime there are a few things I think you should consider doing for yourself. Remember, you're more use to your son as a well person than as a drained person, so stop any thoughts that looking after yourself is somehow selfish - it really isn't.

You said you "collect him early from nursery wherever possible". Well you can knock that on the head for starters! Instead, go for a coffee, sit at the window and watch the world go by. Or read a book, do a crossword. Or take a walk through the park, sit on a bench and admire the flowers. Treat it as some decompression time for yourself. Picking him up early is not the priority, you are.

Similarly, consider taking a day's holiday now and then for yourself - just for you. Do something that's just for you. Take your son to nursery and pick him up at full time, not early. Do something, do nothing - just prioritise yourself. Remember the Safety Instructions - you need to put your oxygen mask on first. And you need to take care of yourself first.

Blondeshavemorefun · Yesterday 12:04

I totally get it @Atghuu. I’m a single parent and work and she never sees ex without me , so no eow that many single parents get

it’s tiring and tbh dd is a good easy child - she’s now 9 but yes it’s hard and feels constant

we do have a lot of play dates and have people /friends round and as get older they go alone and you get a few hours peace

the manic ness of now won’t be forever

3/4 is a tricky age but gets easier 4/5 and at school so hang in there

littleorangefox · Yesterday 12:06

FuzzyBumbleeBee · Yesterday 08:51

You aren't alone

I struggled a lot when my dc were younger, I didn't particularly like them either at that age
now at 9 and 12 I quite like them
They took all my time and energy when younger and it was relentless I stopped being a person I forgot who I was other than mummy it was all about the dc.

I love being a parent to older children but younger children? Nope

If you can take some time for yourself
Stop picking him up early every day grab a drink even a thermos of tea you make before leaving work and a book and sit in your car somewhere for a bit before collecting him, I liked to stop at the supermarket and have a look around for 20 minutes never brought anything just enjoyed the time
It's not much but it may help

I do this at the shops when I can. I will go round and leisurely look at everything just because I can 😂 I have 4 young kids and it feels like I'm always rushed or if they're with me I don't get the chance to properly look in a shop or it's just a bit crap so you can bet I take my sweet time when I get the chance! It's surprisingly therapeutic.

Newyearawaits · Yesterday 12:09

You are not alone OP

Twooclockrock · Yesterday 12:09

My saving grace when my kids were little was a gym with a creche. A couple of hours to myself on a saturday and sunday that wasnt work. They even opened until 6 I think so would grab a hour here amd there.
I didnt feel guilty, he had fun there and it was how I survived working full time. We would go swimming after in the pool too.
Quite often I didnt even use the gym just sat in the cafe and had a coffee, then went in the sauna.
I highly recommend finding a gym with a creche.

Jellox · Yesterday 12:15

I remember feeling like this!!

It’s so difficult having someone constantly there draining your energy and having no time to yourself.

When ex has him are you able to actually be by yourself/do things with friends?

If ex won’t have him overnight would he agree to seeing him a couple times a week?

I do feel your pain as my DCs refused to see them at all and I would have given anything just for a break.

Are you able to reduce your work by a few hours?
Or up his nursery hours by an extra hour?
You could then go for a run or just have a bit of peace.

Try and do things for you.
Evenings - you could do some yoga, read a book, have a relaxing bath, paint your nails etc - any small things that help you feel good.

I found at work going for a walk or the gym at lunchtimes really helped.
I used to need time by myself but then worked at a place that was really social and found I really enjoyed the social side too.

This will get better I promise.

When he starts school, try and be involved by going when you can and joining the parents Facebook group if they have one.
It can be difficult for single working parents but if you manage to make some mum friends in a similar situation, then you can do things like play dates.

Puffinsandcoffee · Yesterday 12:23

FlyingUnicornWings · Yesterday 09:30

It’s absolutely soul draining. I could have written your post 20 years ago. I look back and regret my short temper and how little time I spent with him working full time, but we aren’t built physically or mentally for that kind of onslaught daily.

I don’t know what to advise, or if you are even looking for advice, or just comfort and validation. Have those two in spades from me, it’s a special kind of hell. I had two breakdowns from burnout in the time I was a single parent. I then had to stop work and rely on benefits, which came with its own challenges, but that’s another story.

The fact that we are expected to be more resilient and just cope is utter bs. I’m sending you massive massive amounts of empathy.

Such a lovely, empathetic post.

@Atghuu please re-read this. No one here can lighten the load of drudgery, responsibility, and childcare you currently have. But we can hopefully make you feel a bit less guilty about not enjoying it. It's ok to loathe it sometimes. It's ok to plonk your kid in front of the TV sometimes. It's ok to take a few days off work and do nothing productive with them.

Parental burnout is real and devastating. If that's where you are, don't make it worse with guilt. Fish fingers and TV for your kid, and lots of rest and kindness for yourself.

I'm not a single parent and I work part time, but I have three kids, and in my experience it gets so, so much easier, and you're nearly through the hardest bit.

FlyingWithBingoWings · Yesterday 12:24

Atghuu · Yesterday 08:35

DS is 3.5,

Ex sees him every couple of weeks for a day or so at a weekend. He won’t have him overnight, I’ve asked.

I work full time and from the MOMENT I open my eyes to the moment DS goes to bed I feel utterly got at. My job is very hard and I have huge responsibilities and even going to work feels like a holiday.

I am so emotionally exhausted I can barely type this but it’s things like shouting, suddenly having a tantrum out of the blue, the CONSTANT questions to the point I can’t even think some mornings. The whining. Oh my god it’s awful.

i try my best I really do. Always apologise if I’ve got cross. Always chat on the way to nursery and try and really listen. We do nice things together at weekends and I collect him early from nursery wherever possible so he’s never home later than 5 and we have a proper evening together.

I just can’t bear the moaning and the whinging and the tantrums. I just hate it. I don’t have any moments for myself in the week (and a lot of weekends are like this too), it’s just horrendous at the moment

That sounds like a horrible situation but can i just concentrate on your first sentence and use it to highlight the absolute shite that many posters come up with-on many threads-where they are advised to leave their husbands because they won't do their equal share.

In one, an OP said she was fed up that she was a STAH mum and her partner did not do enough tohelp, as well as working, he had one of those mysterious hobbies that take up a lot of time. Her partner was now threatening to leave her

Before long, some dopey posters-who have never set foot in the real world-came along and told her to TELL him that he wouldn't have time for his hobbies when he had his three children for 3 nights a week and half the school holidays; to TELL him that he wouldn't be able to live in a small flat, as he would need to have a three bedroomed hose for all the time he was going to have his children.

As if this was a fact when many of us know, from bitter experience-including you-that no man has to have his children for one second more than he wants to have them. Many will-happily-but a good few-won't.

Men should have to see their children regularly but don't rely on the fact that should is must.

Wishing you all the best but really want to point out to those that think kicking the dad out means he will have the children equally is often sadly, not the reality.

Awfulinlaws · Yesterday 12:24

Can you walk or stop off via a park or playground on the way back from nursery. Let him burn off some serious energy. Take a box of healthy snacks. If he drops bits and pieces it doesn’t matter. Major bonus is you get some fresh air and a green view.

gabsdot45 · Yesterday 12:25

Leave in crèche until it closes once in a while and have some alone time.
And don't feel guilty about it. You can't pour from an empty vessel.

MyMilchick · Yesterday 12:26

Isn't it grand for these useless dads, that they can just decide they don't want to take their children over night or for any decent amount of time. Once he becomes less work or he gets another woman willing to look after him he'll probably want to take him more 🙄

It gets easier OP, 4/5 is a lovely age I think