AIBU to ask my daughter not to bring her dog to stay?

[ForZanyTraybake]

My daughter and her husband are coming to stay with me in July, they come every summer and stay for about three weeks. This year I've asked them not to bring their German shepherd as I find it quite annoying as it barks constantly being in strange surroundings and my neighbours have also complained. Aibu to ask that they put it into kennels? I don't want to upset them as I love their company and look forward to seeing them. Thanks.

I doubt it, not at this short notice.

This. Three weeks is a long time to leave a pet in kennels. Also, as has been mentioned, it’s very short notice to even get a spot in a kennels at this stage.

I wouldn’t put my dog in kennels so I just wouldn’t visit my parents

If you’d told them last September when you’d thought about it, then that would have been pretty reasonable, and the sort of time frame needed for 3 weeks dog care over the summer period.

They might get lucky and find a place at this short notice for the full 3 weeks, but it’s unlikely and probably very expensive.

In practice saying this close to them visiting, you are cancelling the trip. Can you go to them instead?

You can certainly ask or even state that the dog is not welcome , but prepare yourself that they may not come . Personally I wouldn’t leave my dog for 3 weeks , it would be far too long , not to mention the cost .

Or stay for less than three weeks.

Or find a dog sitter.

Or find a house sitter.

Plenty of other options than having to find a kennels or staying 3 weeks.

The AirBnB idea (or just a straight forward B&B) isn't such a silly one, even in July. Not everywhere is a tourist area.

You are not being unreasonable. Unbelievably cheeky to assume that you can bring a dog to stay.
The onus shouldn't be on the host to say 'don't bring the dog'. The default should be no dog, and the visitors shouldn't even ask unless they are pretty sure the dog wouldn't be unwelcome.
That's always been my approach as a dog owner.

She’s already asked them. Hard to know how to advise without knowing what they said.

“This year I've asked them not to bring their German shepherd as I find it quite annoying as it barks constantly being in strange surroundings and my neighbours have also complained”

I understand your pov but as a dog owner I wouldn’t come. I wouldn’t put dog in kennels.

I think it's fine to say no to the dog but you need to bear in mind that it likely means you won't see your DD. Which is the worst option - having the dog or not seeing her?

Assuming they can afford it and are willing to pay.

If it's your DD and you want to see her, and presumably she's travelling a long way if she's staying for 3 weeks, maybe you could offer to pay the costs of the kennels if you think finances might be an issue?

I voted YABU just for the short notice to find kennels when you’ve had a year since the dog last stayed to think about it.

You’re definitely not being unreasonable not wanting it to stay but they’re never going to find somewhere in the school holidays this last minute to accommodate their dog now, and even if they did it would be a shocking expense they weren’t expecting for 3 weeks. I would either suck it up this summer or expect them not to come.

I can’t believe someone would get a dog and assume they could take it to their parents, and if the parents said no then they would never visit their parents again. Quite selfish and unkind…

YABU - I think you should find a compromise e.g. they only stay for 1 week, or they stay nearby in an airbnb.

3 weeks is a long time to host someone else's dog, but it's an even longer time to be left at the kennels.

Is it selfish or is it just someone making a practical decision?

I can't visit my parents as much as I used to before I got my dog because he's not allowed in their house and they live too far away for me to be able to visit and leave him at home for a few hours. So I have to either meet them elsewhere (ie on a walk, or at a dog-friendly pub) or arrange for DH to be home for the dog so I can visit alone.

There's no way I was going to wait until they passed away before I allowed myself to get a dog, lol.

Yanbu We have a no dog rule in our house and everyone is fully aware of it

Not unreasonable that you don't want the dog to come. But three weeks is a long time for a dog in kennels - I wouldn't put mine in for that long. It would also be extremely expensive. Plus, finding a boarding kennel with three weeks free in the middle of summer is highly unlikely. You need to book weeks (if not months) in advance.

From my experience, it's not just people in their 20s. My family member in their 60s insists on bringing their dog on all visits (including overnights) and has presumed permission.

Yanbu. Hosting a big dog for three weeks is a huge ask.

3 weeks is far too long and far too expensive for kennels. Of course you can say you don’t want the dog but as others have said be prepared for them to say they’re not coming and be offended

Putting a dog in kennels can be a big deal for many. You can certainly ask them, but they may not be able to or may not want to.

The dog barks constantly because it is able to!!! I am so fed up of hearing about people who cannot or will not train their dogs

Totally understand your point of view, but it’s probably too late for them to find a kennels that they are happy with.

That said, they can, and should, train their dog to not bark - and perhaps use adaptil or something similar for calming.

YABU No one wants to kennel their dog for three weeks, and not because it's expensive. Animals can get traumatised being left for so long. They don't know their family is coming back for them.
The dog is part of their family so they can't be expected to leave it behind.