Neighbours fallen out with us

[Ilovewatchingthedrama]

Could I have a bit of perspective on this please?

Our neighbours of many many years installed a high pitched bird scared in their back garden. It drives us crazy and it doesn’t actually stop the pigeons going into their garden. We have asked them a couple of themes if they could turn it off or at least down. When they refused we asked if they could at least leave it off until later in the morning as DD was sleeping in the back bedroom and it was waking her up. That was also met with a refusal. So the weather got nicer again and it meant we couldn’t sit in the back garden or have the patio doors open. We tried one last time but again they refused to turn it off stating what he did in his property was up to him - if only the sound stopped at the boundary that would be fair enough. we made a noise complaint to the council. They got a letter and we got a diary sheet to fill in. One of our other neighbours spoke to them (they are also sick of the noise but not willing to do anything about it) and he told them nothing was going to change. Someone else must have made a complaint as the council guy came out to him and told him to remove it. Neighbour is now chatting shit about us and the easy going relationship we had has gone forever. I know how different noises can be perceived differently by different people but we couldn’t stand that high pitched whining.

was I unreasonable to take whatever steps necessary to allow me to use my garden ?

When I was younger, our next door neighbour installed one of these “to deter cars” from going into his garden. My older sister had already moved out and my parents couldn’t hear it, but I could and it drove me CRAZY. I had undiagnosed ADHD so it was of course a huge sensory issue too, but my parents didn’t understand how much it was affecting me. I couldn’t stand the back door or any of the windows on the back of the house being open at all because of the noise. My parents didn’t really believe me how bad it was, until one day Mum was driving a friend of mine to our house and halfway down the street she said, “what is that awful noise?!” She then finally looked it up and realised that she and Dad were probably too old to be able to hear it, whereas they were known to be very bothersome for younger people!

Next door neighbour had some work done on his house and the noise blissfully stopped for a couple of weeks… We assume one of the younger builders sneakily turned it off. Unfortunately once the neighbour (who was also older, too old to hear it) realised it was off, he switched it back on again. There was then a period of it going on and off again constantly, and we couldn’t understand why until my Dad spotted another neighbour sneaking out of next door’s garden in the middle of the night. They had secretly waged a war against the annoying machine and I’m pleased to say they eventually did win. 😂

Unfortunately that next door neighbour was always awful, so there was no talking to him in the first place. He’s only gotten worse over the years. His wife used to be able to reign him in a little (not that she was much better) but she passed away a couple of years ago and my parents are now left with even more difficulties with him, that the police have had to get involved with. He really isn’t a very nice man at all.

So I can’t really offer much in the way of suggestions, but you have my solidarity as I know full well how horrible those stupid machines are!!

This is exactly why I won't report our very noisy, alcoholic neighbour. I did have an initial call with the council, and they were very supportive. They advised she would initially get a warning, then some sort of black mark against her address if she didn't comply.

We want to move in the next year or so, and we know we'd have to declare it, so we haven't reported it. Sadly, the few times she is sober, she refuses to believe she does anything wrong - even when we have recordings of her screaming like she's being murdered, and the music sounding like there's a nightclub next door.

You might find it hard to ever get out of there, op. I hope you weren't planning to move soon.

You deserve to live in peace - some noise with neighbours is expected. This is unreasonable noise. YANBU.

Fuck them. They killed the easygoing relstionship, not you,

I remember my neighbour had one for cats and only young people could hear it. It drove me mad when I was a kid, my ears were attacked whenever I played in my back garden

Why give a shit they didn’t give a shit about your peace. Don’t give it a second thought and be glad the noise has gone!

I'd either buy a cat to keep the pecking at bay, or play the Sex Pistols at top volume on a loop. Selfish bastards.

Oh my goodness thanks, our neighbour has put a load in their garden and now I need ear defenders to go out, they insist it doesn't make a noise as they can't hear it, I hadn't thought of reporting to the council! I assumed it had to be loud rather than just irritating to be classed as a council matter.

Put three or four wind chimes on your boundary. Just one usually stops a dispute.

You did the right thing your neighbour was incredibly selfish.

You asked him politely to remove the noise pollutant and explained your reasons why the sound was distressing three times, you even offered a compromise so your daughter could sleep. He soured the relationship by being a stubborn, entitled prick. Most sane people will recognise he was the bad neighbour. He's the one who ruined neighbourly relations. Meanwhile, you have your peace.

Is there a chance your neighbours can't hear the noise it makes? If they're older they may have lost their high frequency hearing. It's very common. I can't hear certain pitches at all, that drive other people completely mad.

To be honest the loss of their 'friendship' should be a small price to pay for peace in your home and garden. Because they've now shown you who they really are. What are you missing?

Just sit it out. If they approach you about it, just be mildly agreeable and say yes the birds are a nuisance but the noise was unbearable, it’s not fixing the problem, and in any event, we all have a right to to live in peaceful amiability.

YANBU contact your local council. These devices are only intended for use in agricultural settings, certainly not residential settings.
About 15 years ago I had to report my neighbour for using one of these, even though I tried to reason with him beforehand and the council acted swiftly. He guessed the complaint had come from me and didn't speak to me for a while afterwards, not that I was bothered by that really, but it didn't happen again. Sometimes you have to make a stand.

and bird scarer😂

@Ilovewatchingthedrama
We had in a way this problem too with our neighbour as her granddaughter was throwing broken bottles into our yard, digging under the fence thinking she could somehow tunnel into our backyard, throwing small stones at our front kitchen window whilst the grandmother claimed we did it all unto ourselves!
Yes, I really wanted to feed my labrador a diet of glass!!
There was loads of other stuff too and i got the housing association we are with involved
Then we put up cameras, kept records
The cameras thankfully caught her and we then even politely when we asked her/her grannie to stop she just kept going so we took all relevant proof to the police who the housing association had contacted themselves out of sheer frustration
Upshot is that now after about 25 years we don't speak at all to our neighbour whos accused me of hating african children and putting up the cameras to spy on her in her bedroom whilst generally badmouthing me to other neighbours
You did what you had to do so don't fret you deserve your sanity
If you want peace then sometimes you have to prepare first for war.....

Get your Alexa/ sound system next to the fence ( waterproof the area)
Play Crazy frog and any other most annoying songs you and your family can come up with... and bugger off on holiday for 2 weeks!

I complained to the council a few years ago about a neighbour's house alarm that went off at ten to six every morning (for a few seconds, until they turned it off). I had a newborn and it drove me mad. I asked them about it and the response I got was 'the door is bust'...so I complained and they obviously knew it was me because (after they got a letter and fixed it) they stopped acknowledging me. I didn't really care by that point as they'd fixed the problem. It actually took about ten years to be on speaking terms again (and it was never mentioned!).

The way I would be putting birdseed all over his car….

Of course you’re not unreasonable, but what did you expect once you escalated it to the council? Obviously the relationship will be permanently changed.

5am Wagner from a speaker pointed at them right from your fence?
You find it invigorating to wake up to and they did people can use their own gardens however they like.
You’ve tried being reasonable, they clearly don’t respond to reasonable…

I had a similar situation and eventually one day they were muttering crap about me and I just snapped and told them straight I hadn't called the council, but EVERYONE hated the noise, we had all discussed it behind their backs and they were the only people who thought their behaviour was ok. They were open mouthed in shock and dropped it all and were meek for a while after that! Then they started being normal and friendly again.

My neighbour fell out with me after I protested when ber cowboy builder drilled right through to us - mid terraced house. Yes it must be my fault I was at home and your builder’s drill bit came through my wall. My bad

I feel your pain! I have neigjbours across the street playing shit music loudly in their garden in the summer while I am working from home and doing meetings. I don't know how they never seem to work and spend entire days smoking in their garden. Probably they are on benefits paid with my taxes.

Someone had one up my road , not near to our garden but I am too old to hear it but my daughter could . If your neighbours are older they can’t hear it so it doesn’t bother them .