Explain to me like I’m 5.. cleaning

[TalkingtoRosesIsMad]

Im coming out of a really bad depressive state. I have help let me just say that. However my Mum died when I was 11 and my dad died when I was 12. I went into a children’s home and didn’t learn any life skills.

I got good grades, I got a good degree at Lancaster and im now doing solicitor training. My point is I’m not stupid I just don’t know how to clean and keep things tidy. I’m 22 and live alone and honestly it feels like I get some energy and blast the house then get overwhelmed with everything/ I’m now knackered so I let it creep up on me again.

I do make sure the washing up is done, but any of you who have beautiful clean, sparkly houses all the time, please help create a daily, weekly, monthly schedule and checklist so I can get into a good routine and keep it properly.

I don’t mind paying for a system and sticking it on the fridge but it’s things like ;

how do you mop properly so the water runs clear?
how often do you mop?
how often do I hoover the rug downstairs and the stairs
how often do you clean the washing machine?
clean the skirting boards?
clean the loo
deep clean the bathroom
change the bedding
clean the fridge out
clean and stop the areas that get a lot of clutter ?

should I go through the important paperwork and file it? Even it takes hours?

I think I need to get into a routine of ‘it’s Wednesday I need to do xyz’

I tried the fly lady thing and I didn’t get it, I have heard of the organised mum method but Im not sure it would work?

i need someone to explain how to do these basic tasks and. Then how to keep on top of it so im
not ashamed to have people over.

FWIW when I am overwhelmed/depressed I try and create little systems to help me. So I will say I am just going to do one thing. Like wipe the surfaces down, and that usually leads me in to doing more because getting started is the hard part! Or set a timer for 15 minutes and do what you can in that time. Listening to podcasts or music helps too. Good luck! Xxx

I'm bone bloody idle and hate housework, but manage to keep both kitchen and bathroom presentable with minimal effort.

I have never physically cleaned my washing machine or dishwasher. They're both machines for cleaning stuff, so imo they are self-cleaning, up to a point. I wipe the inside rubber seal of the washing machine door when I empty the machine because it holds water and can go mildewy, and run the dishwasher filter under the tap and give it a scrub every 3-4 weeks, and run dishwasher cleaner through it every couple of months. I give the outside of both of them a spray of window cleaner* and wipe them over with a microfibre cloth approx once a week.

I squeegee the glass shower door before I get out of the shower, and dry the taps and inside of the bath (and basin) so they don't end up covered in limescale (very hard water where I live, and polished chrome taps!). Every few days, while the cloth is damp from drying the bath etc and my body is air drying while wrapped in a towel, I give the top of the vanity unit, window sill and shelf a wipe. I wipe the bog seat (including underneath) and rim daily, as my lav seems to be a dust magnet, and put any old loo cleaner down it approx weekly and leave overnight. Every couple of weeks I clean the bathroom basin with spray cleaner, which is all it needs as it gets wiped dry daily.

Kitchen and bathroom floors are laminate. I have discovered that soft-soled shoes like Crocs or FitFlops are very effective at sweeping. Every now and again, when I'm on the phone or waiting for the kettle to boil, I'll run my toes around the edges of the kitchen floor until all the fluff and crud is in a heap, sweep the rest and hoover up the mess with a (cordless) handheld hoover. Then I give it a quick squirt of Method floor cleaner and mop with a microfibre mop, ditto the bathroom. I do my best to keep my worktops free of clutter, so they're easy to clean (spray anti-bac cleaner and a microfibre cloth) and I do them most days. Every 7-14 days I clean the cupboard doors, and outside of the appliances (general purpose cleaner, diluted and in a spray bottle).

I clean the inside of the windows every 4 weeks when the window cleaner has done the outsides (spray window cleaner and scrim). Elsewhere in the house, I just give surfaces a wipe/dust/polish now and again, and hoover approx weekly downstairs and fortnightly upstairs.

I generally put things away as I use them, but I have a real problem with clothes and books as I really don't have enough room to store them. If you ever hear that an old woman in Sussex has been found dead because a huge pile of books fell on her and buried her alive, it'll probably be me. I need to be ruthless and get rid of loads, which I find hard.

I hoover every few days, and I find a cordless hoover makes it dead easy as no bloody flex to wrangle with. Mine's a G-Tech, other makes are available, and it only takes seconds to hoick it out from the cupboard under the stairs and run it around.

• I buy the cheapest spray bottle of window cleaner and find them all equally good, and I use linen scrims which don't leave any fluff. They're expensive (approx £7 each) but last for ever and wash like a dream. An old boyfriend who had his own window cleaning firm gave me a couple some 40 years ago and I'm still using them!

If you have an iPhone, you can set a ‘widget’ on your phone to show reminders/to do list. Within the to-do list you can set things on a schedule so it keeps reappearing. By this I mean you could have it so it pops up every 2 days to hoover. It could appear on a Monday and if you complete it Monday it will then reappear on Wednesday and so on. If you don’t complete it until the Tuesday, it will then show again in 2 days which is now a Thursday. It’s a way that you spend half hour or so creating the list and then you’re set up forever more until you cancel the task :) I really hope that’s made sense! If not, search the internet for ‘creating a reoccurring to do list on iPhone’ and I’m sure it will explain better.

My routine is for 4 bed house and with 3 kids I don't think my routine would be helpful to you. Instead I think you need advice on setting up your own routine. Do you have a dishwasher? I'd set up a list of daily tasks, weekly tasks and monthly tasks. You haven't said if you are single, have kids or live alone? Assuming you are living on your own, daily tasks I would do are a quick tidy up of living room, bedroom, toilet, wipe down surfaces in kitchen and wash dishes. I would hoover every other day if living alone and working or studying full time . Weekly tasks would be things like laundry, changing bedding, cleaning the bathroom, washing towels, mopping and cleaning the fridge. I would mop daily if you have a pet otherwise weekly is fine. Monthly tasks would be things like cleaning your kitchen cupboards, cleaning windows, blinds, cleaning skirting boards. For motivation I listen to podcasts, little but often works for me.

Sorry I just thought of another tip that gets me motivated- really nicely scented cleaning products. I use Purdy & Figg surface spray and have some beautiful smelling fabric sprays. That usually makes me want to clean because of the sensory experience 😂

I read somewhere recently that 14 mins only 1% of you day, for some reason this clicked with me. I get up and say I will do 14 mins. Usually ends up longer.

For skirting boards run the mop along it when you are mopping floors - helps keep on top of it and then you can do a deep clean every once in awhile.

I think storage/clutter is the main issue in maintaining.

Also tell yourself to complete a task, don't leave an item down to sort later, put it away.

I would like to know how to get hard floors clean - they always seem dirty!

Hi op so sorry for your losses. Op cleaning up is like marmite you either love it or hate it. I started off as 22 in my own place never did anything at home prior to this I think you learn as you go along and you decide your priorities people used to say to me at work how was your weekend and I would say oh cleaned the whole house didn’t get out. Now I’m older I would do what was needed and leave the rest until I have the energy. Just try to get the right balance between housework and enjoying your life. I use a mop with a tank of water and pads that go in the washing machine so I use a clean one for each room and the water added with cleaning products.

I'd set up a list of daily tasks, weekly tasks and monthly tasks.

It's funny how we're all so different, @openended . I would hate that, it would make me feel that my time was being governed by The List, and it would soon be ripped up in disgust.

I'd agree with the little habits thing. I have always worked full time with 2 kids and 2 cats. I love cooking but haaaate cleaning so much. But, I find wormking around your faults is easiest. So I make sure my kitchen is fairly clean and tidy and same with living room as that's what the visitors see... then, if ai have energy, I clean bedroom and deep clean bathroom. If I'm tired, I give the sink, loo and shower tray a quick spray and wipe around. With laundry, I try to keep on top of it fairly regularly, cos if I do one huge load, I can feel overwhelmed and struggle to hang, fold and put away. So medium loads work for me cos I can do each bit more quickly. Getting all washing up done and surfaces wiped in kitchen at end of day is a bare minimum for me, otherwise, I feel like it's too much to start the next day and that's when things can get out of hand. I do tend to hoover most days, cos I like to see a clean floor when I sit down.

If I was you, when you qualify, just get a cleaner. Cleaning for yourself is overrated when life is hard enough.

I've found ChatGPT to be really useful.

I ask it to act as a professional cleaner and type in everything that is bothering me about my house. I hope you don't mind, I put your post in and this is what it came back with, maybe it will be helpful to you:

First: the fact that you got through losing both parents, navigating care, earning a degree from Lancaster, and entering solicitor training tells me something important.

Your problem is not that you are lazy, incapable, or "bad at adulting."
Your problem is that nobody taught you the maintenance systems that many people learn gradually from parents. Housekeeping is not common sense. It's a set of skills and routines.

Also, a lot of people with consistently tidy homes are not cleaning more than you think. They are following systems that stop mess becoming overwhelming.

The goal is not a show-home.
The goal is:
Your home feels calm.
Unexpected visitors don't cause panic.
Cleaning never becomes a weekend-long recovery project.

The biggest mindset shift
A clean home is usually maintained, not deep cleaned.
The people whose homes always look tidy are often doing:
10–20 minutes daily, 1–2 hours weekly, rather than a nothing for weeks 8-hour cleaning marathon. The marathon is exhausting because you're always catching up.

Your Daily Non-Negotiables (15–20 mins)
These are the things that prevent chaos.
Every evening:
✅ Wash up and wipe kitchen surfaces
✅ Put rubbish in bin
✅ Put dirty clothes in laundry basket
✅ Spend 10 minutes putting things back where they belong
✅ Prepare tomorrow's clothes/bag
That's it.
Not mopping.
Not skirting boards.
Not deep cleaning.
Just resetting the house.
Think of it as "closing down" the house before bed.

Weekly Schedule
I think you'll do better with a "Wednesday means X" system.

Monday – Laundry & Bedding
Wash bedding
Change sheets
One load of clothes
Put away clean laundry
Time: 45–60 mins total (mostly machine time)

Tuesday – Bathroom
Weekly bathroom clean
Clean toilet
Clean sink
Wipe mirror
Wipe shower/bath
Empty bathroom bin
Time: 20 mins

Wednesday – Floors
Hoover downstairs
Hoover stairs
Hoover upstairs
Mop kitchen
Mop bathroom
Time: 30–45 mins

Thursday – Paperwork & Admin
Open post
File paperwork
Pay bills
Deal with life admin
Time: 20–30 mins

Friday – Kitchen
Clean microwave
Wipe cupboard fronts
Clean hob
Empty old food from fridge
Time: 20–30 mins

Saturday – Declutter
Pick ONE area:
bedside table
kitchen drawer
wardrobe shelf
paperwork pile
Not the whole house.
Time: 20 mins

Sunday – Rest
Or catch up if needed.
No guilt.
Monthly Tasks

First weekend of each month:
Kitchen
Deep clean fridge
Clean oven if needed

Bathroom
Descale taps
Deep clean shower

Laundry
Clean washing machine

House
Dust skirting boards
Dust doors and frames
Time: about 1–2 hours monthly.

How Often Should You Actually Do Things?
Hoovering -Main living areas -Once weekly.
Stairs -Once weekly -Twice weekly if you have pets.

Mopping -Kitchen and bathroom:Weekly.
Not daily. Not every other day.
Weekly is enough for most people.

Changing Bedding -Weekly -Some people stretch to fortnightly. Weekly is ideal.

Toilet -Quick clean weekly. If guests come over, do a quick wipe beforehand.

Bathroom Deep Clean -Monthly. Weekly maintenance prevents huge jobs.

Washing Machine -Monthly.
Run a hot cleaning cycle.
Clean:
detergent drawer
rubber seal

Fridge -Quick check weekly. -Deep clean monthly.

Skirting Boards -Monthly. -Some people do them quarterly.
You do not need to be crawling around every week.

How To Mop Properly
This confuses loads of people.
Hoover first.
Always.
Otherwise you're making muddy dust.
Fill bucket with warm water.
Add a small amount of floor cleaner.
More product ≠ cleaner floor.
Mop in sections.
Rinse mop frequently.
Change water when it looks dirty.
The water does not need to run crystal clear.
Professional cleaners often change the bucket once or twice and move on.
You're cleaning the floor, not trying to produce drinkable mop water.

How To Clean a Toilet
Weekly.
Toilet cleaner inside bowl.
Leave 10 minutes.
Wipe:seat, lid, handle, outside
Scrub bowl.
Flush.
5 minutes.

How To Stop Clutter
This is the thing that usually makes a house feel dirty.
Create homes for the common offenders.

Near the front door
Basket for:
keys
wallet
sunglasses

Living room
Basket for:
chargers
random bits
paperwork waiting for action

Bedroom
Laundry basket.
Not a chair.
A chair becomes a clothes mountain.

About the Paperwork
Yes.
Do it.
But not all at once.
As a solicitor trainee, you'll probably benefit enormously from having a filing system.
Create folders:
Identity documents
Housing
Employment
University/Qualifications
Banking
Medical
Insurance
Car (if applicable)
Important correspondence
Spend 20–30 minutes every Thursday.
Eventually you'll reach "maintenance mode."

What Makes a House Feel Instantly Clean?
If you only have 20 minutes before someone visits:
Make bed.
Wash up.
Clear kitchen counters.
Empty bin.
Wipe bathroom sink.
Clean toilet seat.
Hoover visible floors.
Those seven things create about 80% of the "clean house" feeling.

A Fridge Checklist
You mentioned wanting something you could stick on the fridge.
Try this:
Every Day
Wash up
Wipe kitchen surfaces
Put laundry away
10-minute tidy
Monday
Laundry
Change bedding
Tuesday
Bathroom clean
Wednesday
Hoover house
Mop kitchen
Mop bathroom
Thursday
Paperwork/admin
Friday
Kitchen maintenance
Fridge check
Saturday
One decluttering task
First Weekend of Month
Clean washing machine
Deep clean fridge
Descale bathroom
Dust skirting boards

One final thing: when you're recovering from a depressive period, don't measure yourself against people whose houses look perfect online. The standard you need is not "sparkling at all times." The standard is "functional enough that the house never becomes frightening to tackle again." That level is surprisingly achievable with 15 minutes a day and one small job assigned to each day of the week.

You all above sound like domestic goddesses 😀. I keep tidy all the time , always do the kitchen and wipe surfaces many times a day . Bathroom , a quick clean after my shower . My son vacuums downstairs everyday and upstairs once a week . Do a wash when I need to . I'm a bit of a slut when it comes to keeping drawers and cupboards tidy , it's my downfall . I feel agitated if the house isn't tidy so tend to do that the most . There are 3 of us and three cats , no kids .

Every day I make sure basic things are tidy. Things lying around are gathered up, the kitchen is wiped down and washing up put away.

I clean the bathroom on a Thursday and Sunday religiously. I also hoover on these days too.

Sweeping I do as and when I see there are bits to be swept. I tend to sweep the stairs at the same time (no carpet).

DH puts all the washing away and changes the bed sheets on a Sunday.

I think those are the main things. I then choose something to declutter every now and again. In January I spent a weekend doing the garage, yesterday I spent half an hour doing my underwear drawer. My wardrobe gets done every season when I buy new clothes. My office for WFH gets done when I get bored when I’m meant to be working (often).

I think the biggest thing is to try not to make much of a mess in the first place

• being neat and tidy as you cook (e.g. popping things back in cupboards/dishwasher/giving surfaces a wipe/making sure you don't leave crumbs outside of the plate or chopping board/trying to avoid oil spatter and splashes from what you're cooking)
• not wearing shoes indoors makes a big difference to your floors. Can wear slippers if you like. But assuming you have no pets then it means you rarely need to mop on top of just hoovering
• fridge - if you have a dishwasher, just take the drawers out every few months and shove them in the dishwasher. If not, give the drawers and surfaces a wipe when you do your big shop each week (before you put the groceries in!)
• toilet - doesn't need to be bleached every day! Twice a week is fine. Deal with any marks or stains immediately. Start from the cleanest outer part of the loo with a cloth (or toilet paper if you prefer) and some antibac spray and then work your way onto the lid, inside of the lid, seat and under the seat. I tend to put bleach round the rim, let it sit for 20 mins then use a toilet brush, flush the toilet brush clean, then leave it to dry by hanging it under the seat. Then once it is dry put it back in the toilet brush holder.
• surfaces i give a quick wipe each day with a cloth and spray. Use a feather duster where there's dust first otherwise the cloth gets dusty quick.
• Windows - I'm not too fussy about those. I pay a window cleaner once every few months.
• clothes - assess whether they need washing first. Pants and shirts probably do need to be washed after one use. Jeans and trousers can get multiple uses before needing a refresh. Do a load per day

The other tip is getting good quality cleaning stuff so you don't have to use much effort to get the effect you want, check you're using the right sprays for the right surfaces (e.g. don't use antibac spray on a mirror, you'll get better effects from Windex; likewise wood polish does wonders on wood)

I also got a robot vacuum, I love it as I can do other cleaning chores at the same time. It also forces me to keep the floors uncluttered

To ditto upthread, you've done amazingly well for yourself. Don't beat yourself up over your house - most of us lived in absolute tips in our early 20s 😁

I started like you, not being brought up to clean and tidy so it has developed over the years.

My top tips are ....

1. Get a good upright steam cleaner for floors. I have a "shark steamspot with steam blast technology" £69 on Amazon at the moment. Really cleans the floor and it sparkles afterwards.

2. karcher sc2 steam cleaner - great for anything. Lots of different attachments.. really give it a sparkle and no chemicals.

3. don't have too much stuff. Be pretty ruthless. Ditch the clutter.

4. have a place where every individual item actually goes. No piles of stuff .

5).touch once management. See it and deal with it. File/put away/in the bin.

6. stuff including clothes I havent used for a good while go in.loft.for a while. If I haven't missed it.. charity shop.

7. storage like IKEA pax wardrobes. Don't have to use just for clothes. Take up very little floor space and go up so you get loads in.

8. always stay on top of it. Less is more. Always clear surfaces and wipe down before bed. Start of winning.

Good post! Looking forward to reading full thread now.
Just have less stuff. Have good storage. Steam clean all the way.
Oooo and just learnt that washing powder down the toilet removes stains...very stubborn ones..

Ooo and get a light cordless hoover (I have a Dyson) leave it on charge. Then whizz round house most days. Doesn't take two minutes. Not like taking out our heavy Miele. Plugging it in and doing a bit. Lugging it around and doing another bit.
Just unplug Dyson and whizz round.

KEEP IT EASY.

Me neither, but I tell you what was an absolute revelation- my front door always seemed to need quite a hard push to close it until my brother in law visited and said “Got any WD40?” Squirted a bit of that inside the latch and what do you know, it clicks open and closed like a dream now. Did the same with the key turn ones at the back and now they are smooth as silk. I recommend oiling all your door locks now and again, I really do.

Thank you ! Im so glad I started this thread it’s so helpful!

Oh another really important thing - make sure you open the windows to air the house regularly. Even if it’s 5 minutes in the morning!

This is so true. I open all of our windows as much as possible. Even in the depths of winter I will air the bedrooms for 10 minutes in the morning while we are getting ready. So many people never do which is why a lot of houses have that musty smell.....even more so if they have pets or dry their washing indoors. Fresh air for the house is a non negotiable and it takes absolutely no time to crack the windows open for a bit.

I’m a bit of a domestic disaster, but have a few non-negotiables:

Always clear up after a meal
Never go to bed and leave unwashed dishes
Wipe worktops after a meal/cooking
Let fresh air in
Always have one space where visitors could come in and sit down without having to move piles of washing or get covered in dog hair (this can be the kitchen - it doesn’t have to be an immaculate drawing room)
Always have one loo (if you have more than one) clean enough to direct visitors to.

The rest of it is a bit hit and miss in my house. Well done for everything you have achieved. Get a cleaner as soon as you can, and get on with enjoying life.

I tend to clean and tidy as I go along whilst the kettle boiling, bath is running etc. Kitchen is my main priority I suppose as I out of habits tend to antibac the kitchen tops and sink. Floors get wet mopped once a week with a spruce up from those spray floor cleaners for a quick wipe over. For filing perhaps get getting some under bed store boxes. It's surprising how much you can store in those boxes beneath the bed. So yeah under bed store boxes is probably my best answer to your questions.

Right. After reading through this thread it's reminded me to bleach my loo later. Unashamedly team bleach.

Lots of great ideas. One thing that helps me is I clean a shelf in the fridge one day. (A great tip from another post) Another maybe a couple of days later. I suffer with fatigue and don’t have energy to clean whole fridge in one go.

I got all the junk off the floor and got an eufy hoover. I sit on the sofa and watch it hoovering while I have a cuppa.

I have three pop up dirty washing bins. One for whites and light colours, one for colours, and one for 30 degrees wash. Makes popping on a wash nice and quick.

all my Tupperware is stored with its lid on. No tubs? The freezer needs eating.

In terms of tidying we have a set place upstairs and downstairs where we put stuff that needs to be on the other floor
Then every time we go upstairs and downstairs everyone is expected to take stuff from the pile and take it to the right floor and tidy it away.
Means we are constantly tidying but in a good way
And also agree - have a set place for everything

Steam cleaner.