Explain to me like I’m 5.. cleaning

[TalkingtoRosesIsMad]

Im coming out of a really bad depressive state. I have help let me just say that. However my Mum died when I was 11 and my dad died when I was 12. I went into a children’s home and didn’t learn any life skills.

I got good grades, I got a good degree at Lancaster and im now doing solicitor training. My point is I’m not stupid I just don’t know how to clean and keep things tidy. I’m 22 and live alone and honestly it feels like I get some energy and blast the house then get overwhelmed with everything/ I’m now knackered so I let it creep up on me again.

I do make sure the washing up is done, but any of you who have beautiful clean, sparkly houses all the time, please help create a daily, weekly, monthly schedule and checklist so I can get into a good routine and keep it properly.

I don’t mind paying for a system and sticking it on the fridge but it’s things like ;

how do you mop properly so the water runs clear?
how often do you mop?
how often do I hoover the rug downstairs and the stairs
how often do you clean the washing machine?
clean the skirting boards?
clean the loo
deep clean the bathroom
change the bedding
clean the fridge out
clean and stop the areas that get a lot of clutter ?

should I go through the important paperwork and file it? Even it takes hours?

I think I need to get into a routine of ‘it’s Wednesday I need to do xyz’

I tried the fly lady thing and I didn’t get it, I have heard of the organised mum method but Im not sure it would work?

i need someone to explain how to do these basic tasks and. Then how to keep on top of it so im
not ashamed to have people over.

@Wooflysniff* *
Can I just say as a Mum of a 22yr old, that you should be bloody proud of what you've achieved so far and that maybe you don't need to put quite as much pressure on yourself to have a perfect house, but that good enough will do.
Agree with this.
I don't do nearly as much cleaning as most on Mumsnet and my house looks fine.

So pleased you posted this OP, I'm a lot older than you but have never been able to master cleaning and tidying up efficiently, I start something, get distracted and start doing something else so nothing ever gets finished, and stuff all over the place, so then I get overwhelmed. Have a pile of dishcloths that need cleaning - what's the secret with them?? Do people change them every day? Put them in bleach each night? My only hack is to use disposable cleaning wipes to clean the toilet and around it as don't want to re use a cloth for that.

A lot of people here seem to do a lot of cleaning but presumably they have kids.

If you don't and live alone you'll produce fairly limited mess. So just tidying up as you go along. Clean the bath tiles and bath , basin and shower briefly after use. Bleach loo after BM. Once a week mop bathroom floor.

You don't need to hoover that much, it depends how dusty your house is. But maybe once a week.

I've never cleaned my washing machine? I guess I'm not great myself with this stuff as I have inattentive ADHD.

Make sure you don't accumulate too much clutter. Give or throw away anything that doesn't bring you joy or has a specific regular function.

And don't worry. If you know you've got guests just tidy the areas they'll go in. You don't need an immaculately tidy bedroom if they are only using sitting room.

I use an app called “tidy”. It has daily tasks and also does challenges ever so often like spring cleaning.

Thank you for this recommendation!

I have a checklist that I bought from amazon. It's called the adhd home planner I think. I don't have adhd but I do procrastinate so it works well for me.

it really is not necessary to bleach your toilets daily

Of course it is, toilets harbor germs especially if you only have one toilet!

I also wanted to say that you are doing great. Congratulations on doing solicitor training! Your parents would have been very proud of you.

by the way when I was a young solicitor I was working a lot and didn’t have time to keep my house clean (but also didn’t have time to make mess). I ended up using a cleaner for a while to do a weekly clean and only when I was much older I got into the routines and needs to keep my house tidy. My point is that it’s okay that you don’t know it now, you can learn later in life. And please don’t be shy to use help like cleaners, especially when you will be working a lot.

if you have mental health challenges please go easy on yourself!

You're not touching what's in the pan.
It's fine to clean it every few days and it doesn't need bleach.

This. Use the free app, it’s great

In relation to the mopping btw. I don't mop very often but the floor isn't dirty as we've never worn shoes inside. That's a good option unless the floors and carpets are already a bit grubby from wearing shoes inside. I could use a mop pad and it barely even changes colour but obviously if there's spillages or something it'll get mopped. We also have a carpet cleaner (not essential obviously) but good as a deep cleaning step to keep the home at a good level of clean.

No it’s not. For a normal household daily bleaching is an overkill. (Nevermind that bleach is highly corrosive and has fumes which are toxic). For a family with kids 2-3 times a week is ok. For a single person household weekly is totally fine.

btw most germs in bathrooms outside the toilet bowl are on the door handles

also a kitchen has more germs so that’s the place which should be cleaned daily - with soap/detergent (even kitchen does not need to be bleached daily)

Like you, I struggle with this.
With regard to mopping, I now use one of those Flash Power Mops (they're purple). They perhaps cost a bit more to "run" than a traditional mop, but so much faster and easier. It turned cleaning the hard floors from a job I hated, to a job I tolerated.

But what has helped the most is "game-ifying" cleaning. I assign "points" to every cleaning task. More points for jobs I hate, less for jobs I don't mind. My most hated job is, randomly, putting clean washing away. So that gets assigned the most points.
In each month, there's the potential to score 200 points...
Achieve 50 points = a takeaway coffee.
100 points = a weekend breakfast "out".
150 points = a takeaway
200 points = £50 of guilt-free "spend it on something fun and silly" money.

To give you an idea, my most hated task of putting washing away is worth 10 points. Hoovering is worth 5 points, wiping down and anti-bac'ing the kitchen sides is worth 3 points.

I can't carry over points into the next month, so it'll sometimes give me a push to do a load of little tasks to get myself to the next "reward" amount. The rewards can carry over to the next month, if I'm not able to use them for whatever reason.

I'm sorry to hear that you have been in a depressive state, I hope you are feeling better.
Congrats on doing your solicitors training, I can imagine that to be a lot of work! So brava to you 👏 💕

Cleaning can be tedious or it can be cathartic depending on my mood.
I honestly swore by the TOMM method, and also having music playing in the background if thats what you enjoy! 💃
I now having a cleaning day and a laundry day (I'm fortunate to work part time, so use the other 2 days for this)

We also have a cleaner who comes once every month for a 2 hour blitz clean, which gives myself and hubby a break.
I usually tidy everywhere free from clutter/ toys/ dishes away etc before she comes, hubby empties the bins and then I will walk the dog and then do a food shop, so that way when I come home, the place is fresh, we have food and the dog is content 😇

When I was younger both myself and mum mum were huge fans of Kim & Aggie, from how clean is your house?! Programme on TV. They were titans of cleaning 💪 🧼
You will find a system that works for you

And just to let you know, most people's homes (like my own) are usually a bit lived in, a bit messy and are cosy mixed with chaos, which is very normal and not at all what you see on the highlight reel of sparkly show-home, picture-perfect reels on social media!
I sound quite boring sorry 😆
But most normal homes are just that.. normal 😌

ETA: I hope you have a lovely weekend!
@TalkingtoRosesIsMad

APP was saying she uses washing up brushes for random hard to reach places. This would be ideal for you.

First of all, be kind to yourself, OP. Be kind, be gentle and be patient. Don’t set yourself strict targets. Give yourself time. If you’ve recently had bad depression, then keeping that ok takes priority.

For your cleaning questions, then the first thing I’d do is declutter if needed. It makes things easier. Aim to introduce your cleaning schedule over time, choosing priority areas and gradually including more things.

how do you mop properly so the water runs clear?
Don’t mop with a traditional mop! I use a Flash Speed Mop. It’s quicker and easier which means you do it more often.

how often do you mop?
I wipe up random spills during the week, then try to mop the whole floor at the weekend or one evening if I have time. So, once a week if you can.

how often do I hoover the rug downstairs and the stairs
I do mine two or three times a week but I have children and a dog who all bring in bits of grass and stuff. If you don’t, once a week will be fine.

how often do you clean the washing machine?
I wipe down the outside when I clean the kitchen, but if you’re talking about cleaning the internal bits, I use a washing machine cleaner every few months. I always use powder in the machine as a plumber told me it keeps it cleaner and less icky and clogged.

clean the skirting boards?
A couple of times a year usually. This is one of those Spring Cleaning type jobs not a regular thing. If you’re talking about have an area where dust collects on the skirting, then wipe those over with a damp cloth every two or three weeks.

clean the loo
Whenever I see it looking less than pristine! I give it a thorough clean once a week but in between that, I wipe it over and use bleach or toilet cleaner as needed. If you’re prone to limescale, keeping that under control is a must. I use a liquid once a week.

deep clean the bathroom
It depends what you mean by deep clean. I give it all a good clean every week, and sometimes clean the sink more often as I like it to look pristine. See above for the toilet. I also wipe down the shower and bath quickly after I’ve used them.

change the bedding
Once a week.

clean the fridge out
Again, a Spring Cleaning type job not a weekly one. I wipe as I see spills and I try to keep it tidy as I go. So, probably two or three times a year for a total clear-out/wipe through. I do clean the fridge drain more often though so it stays clear. Maybe every month for that.

clean and stop the areas that get a lot of clutter ?
I try to spend a few minutes every week clearing, or at least tidying, clutter hotspots. My house is quite small so it’s a bit of a challenge. Often I just thin it out and tidy it if I’m short on time.

should I go through the important paperwork and file it? Even it takes hours?
It depends! I’ve stopped keeping so much paperwork now and it’s made my job a lot easier. I only keep and file crucial things. I have an indexed box with dividers and just put things under the right letter. I also have a drawer where things waiting to be filed go, or where things that need to be kept for a few months but not filed go. This reduces the pressure too.

I don’t think that you need to do the level of cleaning that many posts have mentioned here, especially if you live alone and have no children or pets. Some of these seem very excessive to me. Answers to your questions below, from the POV of living alone and having a demanding job:

how do you mop properly so the water runs clear?

frankly when I lived alone I used a Flash mop with the wipes. I hoovered very thoroughly before mopping and only did it about once a week or even fortnight. If you’re a shoes off household then this is even easier as you’re not tracking dirt in.

how often do you mop?

as above

how often do I hoover the rug downstairs and the stairs

Once per week, sometimes twice but only because I’m allergic to dust.

how often do you clean the washing machine?

once per month

clean the skirting boards?

very rarely! Maybe twice per year with a damp cloth when I remember.

clean the loo

Living alone, wipe the seat weekly. Use toilet brush as and when it needs it and use some cleaner at the same time.

deep clean the bathroom

maybe monthly, but I don’t make a mess. I also use Method shower spray pretty much daily and that helps.

change the bedding

I shower before bed so about every 3-4 weeks.

clean the fridge out

I check and bin things weekly, but do you mean actually taking the drawers out and washing them? I do that less often (unless visibly dirty), maybe once every 3 months.

clean and stop the areas that get a lot of clutter ?

I try to do this weekly or fortnightly if I’m busy

should I go through the important paperwork and file it? Even it takes hours?

yes. Do it one weekend with some music on and then after that it’s just keeping on top of it.

I find it hard to keep on top of things.
i make myself do the minimum at least which is tidying the kitchen, loading dishwasher/doing wash up and wiping down surfaces.

i tidy the living room and make it nice for me to sit in the evening.

i do laundry as needed through the week but don’t always put it away straight away.

then I use weekends to catch up on house jobs, do a proper clean, make sure all clean clothes are away to start the week.

This ⬆️

OP, just coming in to say a huge big Well Done to you. You have accomplished so much and you are only 22.

I am very sorry to read that you are coming out of a hard depressive time and that you find keeping on top of your accommodation overwhelming.

My DDs are similar ages to you. Neither aspire to sparkling clean accommodation.
Probably because they grew up in a house that is reasonably clean and tidy, but not perfectly so!

Life is for living. Make sure you make time for the fun stuff. Short cuts are fine. If you live on your own you don’t need to hoover every surface every week, just the areas you use most, you don’t need to clean skirting boards or windows weekly…

I would prioritise Kitchen/Dining area, Bathroom, followed by Bedroom.

Bathroom: One person using it, weekly or twice per week is fine. Spot clean as required.

Kitchen: worktops daily, cooker top after every use. Quick sweep of floor regularly.
I find to tidy as I go best and quick clean at night.

Bedroom, put away as you go. Try not to cause clutter in the first place.
Beds ideally change weekly, but if you miss a week here and there, no biggie.

Laundry, I try to iron as little as possible. I shake out all laundry before drying. Mostly I air dry, but also for tumble dryer. I smooth out creases and fold as soon as clothes dry. And try put away immediately.

It is OK to not have your accommodation perfect at all times. Life gets in the way at times. Keep it clean enough that you would be comfortable with a friend calling in unexpectedly. And remembers your friends won’t expect it to be clinically clean!

If overwhelming, break down into small jobs that you can do in maybe 30 mins. Don’t try do everything at once. Eg, if bedroom is messy, make your bed and choose a corner to declutter. 4 corners in a room, aim to do 1 a week… In 4 weeks room will be decluttered.

Get into a habit of putting things away immediately. So from dryer, smooth and fold and put away in drawer/wardrobe. Put dirty laundry straight into laundry basket, hang up your coat when you take it off. Put rubbish into bin immediately. Wash up and put away after eating, or just load to dishwasher if you have one.

Also don’t wash all clothes after one wear. You should get several wears from jeans, sweaters. Have someplace to hang the clothes you will rewear. For me it is a chair. But don’t leave them there forever, rewear in coming days/next week.

Do you have enough storage? If not clear plastic boxes are great. Especially ones that will fit under a bed, or large ones (maybe colourful ones) to place at the end of your bed.

Baby steps. Little and often. Progressive improvement. Rome wasn’t built in a day…

And be kind to yourself! Everything doesn’t need to be perfect. Good enough is fine.

Wishing you all the best!! And sending you lots of encouragement.

You've done really well for yourself. Huge pat on the back.

I used to do a big weekly house clean, as
well as keeping the obvious areas clean and tidy day to day, such as the kitchen, bathroom, downstairs loo, sweeping floors down stairs, etc. But, now I take a different approach and just deep clea one area in a room - the shower in the bathroom one day, then I might do the rest of it the following day. I'll hoover and dust a room another day, then mop the floor the following day.

I still wipe down surfaces everyday and sweep the floors downstairs everyday, but when you're busy working long hours and this is all new to you, you can only do what's possible in the time you've got left. Don't become a slave to it.

Yes, this!

You should be so proud Op, well done.

It depends on so many variables. Do you live alone? That means it’s easier to keep clean. What are YOUR personal standards? It doesn’t need to look like a sparkly show home for other people, only if you want it that way?

I live alone apart from half the week when my DC are here but I have a dog and a cleaner. I work from home so it can get a bit messier because I am here all the time but I also give the house another once over in the week.
Mopping - I have wood floors so I just vacuum and use one of those spray mop things
hoovering downstairs gets done twice a week at least (remember I have a dog!) and once a week upstairs unless it’s particularly messy.
Hardly ever do the skirting boards 😂
How cluttered is your house? Do you need a clear out or to find more storage?
Could you afford a one off deep clean and then it’ll be easier to keep on top of it?

FWIW, after everything you have been through I think you should be proud of yourself!

OP I am full of admiration for you to go through all you’ve experienced losing your parents so young and being in care - to then go to uni, get a good degree, become a trainee solicitor, have your own home, you are amazing! Your parents would be so proud of you.

Most of these responses are well over the top! To think you need to do the huge among of cleaning suggested would take loads of your precious time and not achieving it when you think ought to could badly affect your mental health. You really don’t need to do that much!

We send to have a cleaner who did 3 hours once a week for a 4 bedroomed house and little to nothing got done in between! Now we’re retired and are supposed to be doing it ourselves and it gets cleaned even less! Maybe we are total slobs by Mumsnet standards but we don’t care!

A few tips from the house of slobbery:

• What does need to be done daily is the kitchen - washing up and wiping down the surfaces and any spillages, otherwise there will be stains and it gets harder to clean.
• Also, wipe round the bath or shower when you’ve used it.
• Apart from that I’d only clean when I can see visible dust and dirt! Get one of those feather duster things on a stick, then shake it out of the window.
• Change the bedding weekly, unless there’s anything unsavoury in there!
• We don’t use bleach in the toilet, we hate it and it’s bad for the environment, we use an eco toilet duck thing. Squirt it round just under the rim, leave for a while, scrub with the toilet brush and flush. Clean the toilet brush in the flushing water by scrubbing it in the toilet till it’s clean.
• Clean the washing machine by putting a washing machine cleaner in it every few months.
• Lots of cleaning products have instructions on the bottle, so have a read of them.

Can’t help you with the clutter sorry, we have tons of it! If you manage to suss it, let me know! I think in theory you should deal with post every day and chuck it or file it but we seem to struggle with that….