Explain to me like I’m 5.. cleaning

[TalkingtoRosesIsMad]

Im coming out of a really bad depressive state. I have help let me just say that. However my Mum died when I was 11 and my dad died when I was 12. I went into a children’s home and didn’t learn any life skills.

I got good grades, I got a good degree at Lancaster and im now doing solicitor training. My point is I’m not stupid I just don’t know how to clean and keep things tidy. I’m 22 and live alone and honestly it feels like I get some energy and blast the house then get overwhelmed with everything/ I’m now knackered so I let it creep up on me again.

I do make sure the washing up is done, but any of you who have beautiful clean, sparkly houses all the time, please help create a daily, weekly, monthly schedule and checklist so I can get into a good routine and keep it properly.

I don’t mind paying for a system and sticking it on the fridge but it’s things like ;

how do you mop properly so the water runs clear?
how often do you mop?
how often do I hoover the rug downstairs and the stairs
how often do you clean the washing machine?
clean the skirting boards?
clean the loo
deep clean the bathroom
change the bedding
clean the fridge out
clean and stop the areas that get a lot of clutter ?

should I go through the important paperwork and file it? Even it takes hours?

I think I need to get into a routine of ‘it’s Wednesday I need to do xyz’

I tried the fly lady thing and I didn’t get it, I have heard of the organised mum method but Im not sure it would work?

i need someone to explain how to do these basic tasks and. Then how to keep on top of it so im
not ashamed to have people over.

Would you if they made a noise when opening and closing?

No. They squeak a bit. I don't mind.

Also I read on here years ago, if something takes less than 5mins just do it.
It sounds so simple but I would leave the washing up or wiping down the bathroom, then I’d feel overwhelmed.
Now I just do it if I’m there.

I try and do as many things whilst my dinner is cooking too - I usually listen to an audiobook or music, prep dinner, put it in the oven and then I’ve got 20+mins to get as many jobs done as I can.
Then I can relax and eat my dinner, knowing that stuff has been done.

I would just because it is likely to get worse and probably annoys others. It's just basic home maintainence really. Adulting.

I’m not that good at cleaning but re paperwork, I don’t really have any. All my bills etc are paperless. The main thing arriving by post is catalogues and charities asking for money, both of which go straight in the recycling after I’ve obscured my address.

The organised mum method book by Gemma bray is good and has easy lists.
Do you have colleagues to chat to. I’m in legal and if you were in our team people would gladly chat and help you out.

Change sheets once a week, bottom sheet and pillowcases every day when weather is warmer
Shower & bath every night after it’s been used
toilet every night
fridge once a week
washing machine after every use
no clutter because if it’s rubbish it’s thrown out
hoover every day, dust twice a week
kitchen surfaces and oven every day

My house isn't sparkling but it has been described as a show home many times so it obviously gives that illusion haha.

I think you need 2 separate plans, to get on top of things and then to maintain it.

To get on top of things work through one room at a time. Firstly tidy each room and put things away, then dust each room lifting smaller items up to dust under them (using a damp cloth to dust works better than dry dusting, you can also get dusters on poles to make high up and low down easier), then hoover each room. Then finally clean each room, change bedding, wipe mirrors and windows (minky windows cloths are amazing), mop floors, deep clean kitchen and bathroom (Viakal is great for water marks), deep clean washing machine (Mould Magic is great for a mouldy seal) and also for mouldy bathroom silicone). You can always split this across several days to make it feel more achievable but try not to undo what you did the day before!

Once you're on top of things, just maintain it, one load of washing a day (you might only need it a few times a week if living alone). My house gets pretty messy through the day as I've got a young child but after our evening meal I tidy it all up, I start in the kitchen, tidy, dishes, empty bins, wipe worktops, replace towels, hoover just where necessary, dry the washing machine if used that day (take the drawer out and dry with a cloth, also dry the seal, it'll save it going all mouldy in the first place). Then move through the other rooms just tidying up, gathering washing etc. It means you always get to come down to a tidy house the next day :) also throw in the occasional deep clean type day like the one above to get everything really clean again.

I I think I can "adult" pretty well, thanks! 😂

Ok.

I am not an obsessive cleaner, so I focus on hygiene- kitchen after every meal, bathroom a couple of times a week, laundry weekly.

I hate vacuuming, but I am usually barefoot in the house, so usually fortnightly, but sometimes more often, and I have a mini handheld vacuum that gets used almost daily for crumbs in the kitchen, etc. I am more likely to use the handheld vacuum than a dustpan and brush. Likewise, kitchen and bathroom floors get mopped more often since I got a steam mop, rather than a manual mop. (All vacuums, apart from robotics are handheld, but...) it will vary, as people with pets and children will need to vacuum more frequently than I do - I live alone.

Dusting and windows and skirting boards are done when they annoy me, and at least I see the difference then.

I was also brought up with the concept of top down, (gravity, I suppose ) so do the surfaces before the floors, then anything brushed onto the floor will still get cleaned.

Things like spills or blood (managed to cut my finger badly yesterday) are cleaned instantly, or at least as soon as the bleeding is under control and covered.

I find there are always more interesting things to do than housework, so mine is never perfect, and would horrify some MNers, but it's fine for me.

There's no right or wrong in this, OP - just what works for you. Those pp with animals and children obviously have to take a more rigorous approach! You really won't need to hoover every day if it's just you.
Try to keep the kitchen surfaces clear and the sink empty. Put some cleaner down the loo at night and flush in the morning.
It's important that your home is your sanctuary, so whatever makes you feel happy and comfortable 👍

I echo the comments saying do what works for you. It's ok to be a little messy and disorganised and to have a not spotless house. The fear of not achieving perfection often prevents action. Aim for good enough - whatever that means for you.

how do you mop properly so the water runs clear? We just use the flash mop wipe thing.
how often do you mop? Weekly
how often do I hoover the rug downstairs and the stairs weekly
how often do you clean the washing machine? Rarely
clean the skirting boards? Rarely
clean the loo bleach a few times a week
deep clean the bathroom weekly
change the bedding weekly
clean the fridge out rarely, maybe yearly but a wipe or a drawer clean as needed
clean and stop the areas that get a lot of clutter ? Don't clutter in the first place

should I go through the important paperwork and file it? Even it takes hours? File as you go along

These are our frequencies from a, probably averagely clean and tidy house.

This is good for checklists and realistic tips. There‘s a group with before and after pictures on Reddit: https://www.unfuckyourhabitat.com/ufyh-fundamentals/

Dana White is always great. Start on her website, she’s since published books. She comes at it from an ADHD perspective: if everything has a designated space, things automatically look tidier. But she also takes a compassionate, realistic view of tidying.

Following myself for the actual cleaning tips.

Put things AWAY, not DOWN.

Clean out the fridge the night before the dustbin men are due to collect food waste.

I have a set of in/out trays for paperwork.

Books- I've stopped buying books and joined a library. Let them have the joy of dusting them.

Loft space- if something isn't used at least once a year (suitcases/Christmas decorations) then it doesn't have a space in my house.

Don't hold onto stuff for memories. That's what your brain is for.

Finally, make sure any future partner or children are house trained!

I'm so sorry that you had such a hard start to life. Look how far you have come. You should be immensely proud of yourself. Truly, well done.

My home growing up was very dirty. It honestly took me until about age 35 to have a clean/tidy home day to day. I used to just have a huge clean once a week. Now, it's little and often.

Me, husband and 3 kids - yes DH certainly pulls his weight, but he works many, many more hours than I do, so the majority of housework is me.

First, decluttering make a world.of difference and actual cleaning is way faster.
What helps me is I try to have set days where I do certain things.
Beds - I could never remember when I'd last changed them so would then not do it as much as I should.
Ironing - 3 days a week, rather than a huge mountain once a week.
Washing - every day. Put it away as soon as it's dry.
Buy a stick hoover- game changer. Not good enough for a full house hoover, but I use it a few times a day, just for a few minutes to get the crumbs etc.
Spray mop is great. Super fast, plus you can then spot wash any dirty bits.
Squeegee the shower door after every use.
I wipe down the sinks each day, actually clean then twice a week ish.
Wipe down the toilet at least once a day. Clean it properly every few days.
Zoflora in a sink and on the toilet brush makes everything smell great.
Try to put stay away, not down.
Every time leave a room I bring something with me that's not supposed to be there. A cup, hair band. It all adds up.
When boiling the kettle, wipe down surfaces.

Don't be too hard on yourself, it takes time to build new routines.

I highly recommend this read: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Keep-House-While-Drowning/dp/1529159415/

It's all about being kind to yourself while trying your best (to clean)

This sounds more equal. On the thread generally I’m wondering what on earth the men are doing. I’m like a man and am not at all domesticated. It must be amazing to be one of these husbands n just swan around in a clean home no doubt not even noticing the effort taken. It’s noticeable as people with partners always insist on saying ‘we’ for everything they do but on this thread it’s mainly ‘I’.

That is a very, very good point👍

OP I read something on MN once and it’s been a game changer for me - “touch it once” so what that means is if you are taking dry washing off the line instead of doing what I used to do task 1) take washing off line in a rush and leave on a pile on the kitchen table task 2) sort through washing separating into plies of whose washing belongs to who (not applicable for you I appreciate task 3) fold separate piles and pair socks etc leave on table task 4) move piles off table to set table for dinner task 5) move piles back on to table and think I must take them upstairs task 6) put piles on stairs task 7) put pile on my bed or outside airing cupboard (if towels etc) task 8) put them away. It overwhelmed me and when I had small children felt never ending. Now I “touch it once” take it off the line folding each item or pairing each item as I do so take them straight upstairs and put them away. Suddenly 8 tasks becomes 1 and takes 5 minutes and feels so much easier. Post is the same I used to open it as soon as I got in, read, put in a pile thinking I must reply to that or pay that bill. Now I wait until I have 5 minutes which could be 2-3 times a week instead of every day. Make a cup of tea. Sit down with post, lap top and phone and calendar and open mail and either recycle, add an appointment to my diary, pay a bill there and then do an insurance renewal and then either bin or put in a “to file” drawer or poly pocket and then every two months or so I file the paperwork in the “to file” pile but because it doesn’t have anything other than the important information it doesn’t take too long. I now a try to do this with everything. As I go to bed at night I just quickly sort the sofa - straighten the cushions and put my tea mug into the dishwasher and that means when I come down in the morning the sitting room is already tidy so is actually one less thing to do. I hope this helps.
You are already achieving so much, a few tips from MN and you’ll soon be on top of cleaning too. We’re all behind you and wishing you the very best.

Probably because one person works far less than the other.

I started using The Organised Mum Method (not just for mum's), it's an app, £3.99 a month I think and gives you a checklist for Monday to Friday. You do a room a day and then have a more relaxing weekend. There's also guided cleans so you can be talked through things! It keeps my house in order 👌

I am fairly laid back about cleaning but my house is clean but messy!
Both dh and I work full time and long hours and have 2 teens.
I do the dishwasher and wipe the kitchen daily.
Deep clean bathrooms once a week.
Hoover once a week.
Mop fortnightly.
Change sheets fortnightly.
Washing daily or it builds up - we get through a lot!!
Paperwork goes in the bin or a pile and is filed sporadically!
Dust fortnightly.
Skirting boards and windows -hardly ever!!
Your house doesn’t need to be Instagram worthy all the time. Whatever you’re comfortable with is fine!!