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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Explain to me like I’m 5.. cleaning

223 replies

TalkingtoRosesIsMad · 31/05/2026 06:55

Im coming out of a really bad depressive state. I have help let me just say that. However my Mum died when I was 11 and my dad died when I was 12. I went into a children’s home and didn’t learn any life skills.

I got good grades, I got a good degree at Lancaster and im now doing solicitor training. My point is I’m not stupid I just don’t know how to clean and keep things tidy. I’m 22 and live alone and honestly it feels like I get some energy and blast the house then get overwhelmed with everything/ I’m now knackered so I let it creep up on me again.

I do make sure the washing up is done, but any of you who have beautiful clean, sparkly houses all the time, please help create a daily, weekly, monthly schedule and checklist so I can get into a good routine and keep it properly.

I don’t mind paying for a system and sticking it on the fridge but it’s things like ;

how do you mop properly so the water runs clear?
how often do you mop?
how often do I hoover the rug downstairs and the stairs
how often do you clean the washing machine?
clean the skirting boards?
clean the loo
deep clean the bathroom
change the bedding
clean the fridge out
clean and stop the areas that get a lot of clutter ?

should I go through the important paperwork and file it? Even it takes hours?

I think I need to get into a routine of ‘it’s Wednesday I need to do xyz’

I tried the fly lady thing and I didn’t get it, I have heard of the organised mum method but Im not sure it would work?

i need someone to explain how to do these basic tasks and. Then how to keep on top of it so im
not ashamed to have people over.

OP posts:
researchers3 · 31/05/2026 08:54

DaisyChain505 · 31/05/2026 07:20

You’ll get some people tell you they do XYZ every day and other people saying they do that same thing once a year. Different people have different standards and preferences (and also a few OCD habits thrown in)

Dont let other people’s cleaning practices make you feel bad or like you’re not doing enough.

I think the key is to do things as you go along during your day to keep on top of things. If you make food in the kitchen make sure you wash up and wipe down the hob and sides.

If you’ve done washing and it’s dry put it away instead of leaving it in a pile on the side for a week.

Have the attitude of “put it away don’t just put it down.” When you get in from work your shoes/bag/coat etc aren’t just dumped somewhere they’re hung up, put in the cupboard etc. When post comes through the door deal with it there and then don’t just place it on the side.

Hoover a different room every day when you have a spare 5 minutes or if it works better for you do the whole house once a week instead.

Try a few things and see what works for you. I like to break my cleaning up and tackle room by room so when I get the chance I’ll do the hoovering/mopping in the living room, dust the sides and chuck the sofa throws that the dog lies on in the wash.

Maybe the next day if I have time/energy I’ll do a bathroom and that involves cleaning surfaces with a bathroom spray and a cloth, bleaching the toilet bowl and hoovering/mopping the floors.

a clear and clutter free house is alot better for your mental health that a sparklingly clean house and you’ll find the tidier you are the easier it is to lightly clean and keep things at a good level.

Edited

Great post. This is a healthy attitude. Some of the zealous regimes on here are literally cleaning for cleaning sake. What a waste of time!

I've done this myself when I was younger and had more time and energy!

thisisyoursign · 31/05/2026 08:55

No cleaning tips either but you sound like a remarkable person to have come through all of that and be where you are now. I wish you all the very best.

saminamama · 31/05/2026 08:57

Clean with me podcast is really good on Spotify, I pop it on and crack on with cleaning and it motivates me

TheLilacFinch · 31/05/2026 08:57

Oh another really important thing - make sure you open the windows to air the house regularly. Even if it’s 5 minutes in the morning!

If you are drying clothes inside think about getting a dehumidifier, the disposable ones are OK but electric ones are better. This will minimise the risk of mould. If you do get mouldy spots, the HG Mould spray is really good.

Also if you have a bathroom with no windows you might want to stick the dehumidifier in there for a bit too. Although newer extractor fans are really good so it depends on where you’re living.

scienceteachersarefun · 31/05/2026 08:57

The fridge is an easy win - just empty it out, take out the shelves and wash the interior and shelves with bicarbonate of soda using a microfibre cloth. Rinse and put everything back.
I got some plastic trays from tkmaxx which make the fridge a bit nore ordered by category and keeps it cleaner as well.

EternalFogInMyNotSoSpoltlessMind · 31/05/2026 08:58

I'm sorry this happened to you. It sounds as though your local authority may have fallen short in its role as your corporate parent. One of the key responsibilities of local authorities is to prepare young people in care for adulthood and independent living, so it is concerning when care leavers feel they have not been equipped with basic life skills.
As a care leaver under the age of 25, you may still be entitled to support from your local authority's leaving care or aftercare service. Depending on your circumstances, this can include ongoing support from a Personal Adviser, help with education, employment and training, advice on managing a tenancy, budgeting, accessing benefits, maintaining your wellbeing, and developing independent living skills. Every care leaver should have a Pathway Plan that sets out the support they need as they move into adulthood, and local authorities have a continuing duty to keep this under review. If you are not currently receiving support, it may be worth contacting your local authority's leaving care team to ask what assistance is available. You could also ask for some support with your emotional wellbeing.

In terms of your questions about managing a home, most people develop systems that work for them over time. It is important not to compare yourself to social media influencers or magazine-style show homes. Most people live in homes that are functional and comfortable rather than perfectly tidy all the time.

I have children, work full-time, and live in a relatively small house, so clutter is something I constantly have to manage. One thing that helps us is scheduling a monthly trip to the tip. On the same day, we also take any unwanted clothing to a textile recycling point, charity shop, shove things on freecyle sites or take to a donation centre. Having a regular decluttering routine prevents things from building up and becoming overwhelming.

I also try to link certain household jobs together. For example, if I know my food shop is being delivered, I use that as a reminder to clean out the fridge and throw away any food that is out of date. Pairing jobs in this way helps me stay on top of things without feeling as though I am constantly cleaning.

For post and paperwork, I deal with it as soon as it arrives wherever possible. Anything that is clearly junk mail goes straight into the recycling. Important letters are opened immediately and either acted on or placed somewhere specific so they do not get lost. A simple folder for important documents can make a big difference.
I find that "little and often" works much better than waiting until everything needs a major clean. If I am waiting for the kettle to boil, I might quickly wipe down a cupboard door, clean the microwave, or clear a section of the worktop. Small jobs completed regularly can prevent larger jobs from becoming overwhelming.

When it comes to cleaning products, personal preference plays a big part, and different surfaces require different approaches. For many everyday cleaning tasks, you do not need expensive specialist products. A bowl of hot water with washing-up liquid is excellent for cleaning skirting boards, cupboard doors, worktops, and many other surfaces. Microfibre cloths are also useful because they can be used for a wide range of cleaning jobs.

The most important thing is finding routines that work for you. There is no single "right" way to run a home. Your home does not need to look perfect; it only needs to be clean, safe, and comfortable enough to support your health and wellbeing. Aim for "good enough" rather than perfection. Most adults are still refining their systems and routines throughout their lives, regardless of whether they learned these skills growing up.

Good luck and please don't be too hard on yourself. Most people your age are still only learning how to navigate adult life with the support of their parents and families. You will need to build your own village, and that is hard. Xxx

cramptramp · 31/05/2026 08:58

There is loads of information about how to clean online. There are checklists, daily lists etc.

clapyourhandsifyourworkingtoohard · 31/05/2026 08:58

NorthFacingGardener · 31/05/2026 07:13

I like the organised mum method. There is an app, also a book about “the method”. Basically there are some jobs you do every day, and then each day you focus on a different room of the house.

theorganisedmethod.com/get-started/

I agree with this. Its good for starting out xx

Leopardspota · 31/05/2026 08:58

we have a cleaner ever fortnight, however now we have small kids we need to clean more often. We do all the ‘must do’ things daily - surfaces, dishes, hoover big crumbs etc. but I felt we need cleaner more often, so either needed to pay for it or do it myself. The only way I motivate myself is to consider myself my own cleaner. I clean the house in 2/3 hours as if I’m being paid the £100 ish I’d pay the cleaner (she does 5 as she does ironing/ beds which I don’t do in this session) this way I don’t get bogged down with spending 1 hour clearing out a cupboard or organising the shoe cupboard. I clean as if I’m being paid (cos technically I am saving plenty!). I do this on my day off but if you’re kid-free you might find a Saturday morning works - I’m assuming if you’re on your own then your house is smaller and less messy than ours, so an hour or of proper work should do it, then you have the rest of the weekend to enjoy a sparkly home.

Blundellshook · 31/05/2026 08:59

AprillyJill · 31/05/2026 07:08

£460??? What even is it?!

StephensLass1977 · 31/05/2026 09:06

I vacuum every day (two dogs) and give the kitchen floor a clean with a wet mop. One of those ones which release water when you trigger the lever. I need to use pet safe cleaners and usually use Method or Zoflora.

I wipe all surfaces daily with a cloth either lightly doused in Fabulosa, or spray/wipe.

I bleach and brush the loos daily.

Wipe skirting boards with a wet wipe maybe once a week.

I clean the showers a few times a week using Method shower cleaner, clean the shower traps thoroughly with disinfectant and a sponge. Glass cleaner for the shower screens. Leave windows open afterwards.

Depending on the time of year I will light a candle when I finish cleaning, just to round things off - it's just a little simple and satisfying act, and you know you can sit down and have a tea/coffee etc.

Comtesse · 31/05/2026 09:10

Wooflysniff · 31/05/2026 07:20

@TalkingtoRosesIsMad Can I just say as a Mum of a 22yr old, that you should be bloody proud of what you've achieved so far and that maybe you don't need to put quite as much pressure on yourself to have a perfect house, but that good enough will do.

I've always had trouble with keeping the house tidy, especially when I was a young adult and I'm only just now getting a grip now my kids have left home, but I have a chronic illness and have learnt to be kinder to myself. I also discovered Clutter bug on you tube and that helped me to realise that my ADHD brain was never going to be able to follow normal cleaning and storage systems.

I agree - you are a champ OP! Don’t worry about skirting boards and things like that too much, you have done so well, a bit of house cleaning is not going to hold you back ❤️

TheLargeOnes · 31/05/2026 09:12

I think the number one thing is keeping an eye on the amount of things in your house.

For example, think about clothes, old paperwork, things that you don't use/have broken e.g. kitchen appliances, hair styling tools, old mobile phones. Do you have functional and practical storage and what can you do to improve storage?

Regular purges of clutter and appraisals of where things live (everything needs a home) will make cleaning a doddle.

UhOhRatPoo · 31/05/2026 09:12

Do you live alone or with a partner or flatmate? If someone else is there, make sure that you understand between you how the cleaning is to be divided up.

Well done on your training contract. Regarding the paperwork, make sure that you minimise paper by having as much as possible set to e-billing, electronic invoices etc.

Be sure to tick the “do not contact me by post” box when you order anything online.

if something has to come by post make sure you photograph or scan it.

Set up electronic files for your online documents, but to be honest if you use the same email address for everything you can usually find what you need via an email inbox search and those are even better now they are AI assisted.

Always always makke sure that you are regularly backing up your emails to the cloud. (This is usually automatic).

have a box file for really important stuff like academic certificates, birth certificate but only use it for things that absolutely have to be kept in paper form.

I don’t worry about appliance manuals as they are all easily found online.

Bin all the junk mail (pizza menus etc) ruthlessly.

Good file and document management habits are absolutely vital in your work as a solicitor (I am one) and need to become second nature. If you need support with that, don’t be afraid to ask your supervisors.

Stifledlife · 31/05/2026 09:12

I have many dogs (who moult constantly), so dust and dog hair are my enemies. I have a robot vacuum who hoovers daily, I do upstairs twice a week. I do the shower when I'm in it and use shower shine every day so it's never dirty. I wipe down the bathroom properly a couple of times a week when I water the plants. The kitchen is always wiped down because it's always in use. I guess the key is if you get it out, put it back. If you see dust, remove it. I keep the sink empty and fill the dishwasher. I love a mop and bucket!
I've never been one for "I do the stairs on tuesday". When it needs doing, I do it.

Seriously79 · 31/05/2026 09:13

I roughly work from this:

Monday mop - sweep/hover before you mop

Tuesday toilet - can’t just clean the loo, so do the bathroom at the same time.

Wednesday wash - put a load or 2 through

thursday throw - clean the fridge out, put away anything that’s hanging around.

Friday fresh - quick dust around/ cobwebs light run with the hoover.

some weeks are easier than others, and this doesn’t cover everything but it keeps it manageable

UhOhRatPoo · 31/05/2026 09:13

Oh and for inspiration watch a few episodes of Sort Your Life Out with Stacey Solomon, it’s really good wake-up call for not letting clutter get on top of you.

Thatsalineallright · 31/05/2026 09:16

Is recommend downloading the FlyLadyPlus app. It breaks the house/flat into zones and you take one each week. It gives you suggested check lists to work through and you go at your own pace.

CountryGirlInTheCity · 31/05/2026 09:16

Hi OP - great thread!

I use the TOM app on my phone (the organised method) and do something in a different room every day. Plus you do a daily 15 mins of: something laundry related; make the beds; quick clean of something in the bathroom and hoover main traffic areas. If you do something every day, before long you’re wizzing though it because everything is cleaner and tidier. I never do whole house cleans now and my house is always clean and tidy.

Regarding the ‘how to’, I’d recommend Nancy Birtwhistle’s cleaning books. I have ‘clean and green’. She not only gives ‘recipes’ for eco friendly cleaning products that you can easily make at home, she tells you how to clean things, like the loo and the sink. She also has videos on sm if you like to see it rather than read about it.

good luck!

WyrdHag · 31/05/2026 09:18

It's just me and two cats for most of the time as DD is at uni.

I have a knackering job, ADHD (so a surplus of dormant hobby stuff 🤣) and an elderly parent to keep an eye on so things tend to run a bit slack Monday-Thursday but I like things to be straight for the weekend so:

Friday - I get up an hour early. Hoover downstairs and the sofas, fluff the cushions and tidy up.
Give the kitchen a good clean. Unstack/load the dishwasher as needed, hand wash any bits that need it, wipe down the hob, empty bin and change the litter trays, mop floor, wipe surfaces and have a quick recce in the fridge to see if anything needs chucking before picking up a click and collect on the way home.

Saturday: Laundry 2-3 loads depending whether im doing bedding as well as clothes/towels. I bath every night so strip the bed weekly in summer and fortnightly in winter.

Sunday: put clean laundry away, meal plan/prep for the week, clean bathroom (I clean the loo and wipe the basin round every couple of days) paperwork.

I work in a school so tend to run a dishwasher cleaner. Washing machine cleaner and do a sink and plug hole unblocker about every six weeks during the holidays.

There is probably a lot of stuff I should do more regularly by MN standards, but my loo is always clean and my kitchen has never given anyone food poisoning so...🤷🏼‍♀️

ChiliFiend · 31/05/2026 09:20

I just want to say that I'm so impressed that with your background of being raised in care, you have obtained a degree and are on the path to qualifying as a solicitor. That is an enormous achievement. You should be so proud of yourself.

I too was not taught how to clean (for different reasons) and had to learn as an adult. Over time I've come to really enjoy cleaning my kitchen. Have you watched YouTube videos about it? I'm not on (other!) social media but I've heard that there are people on Instagram etc. who are cleaning gurus and give little tutorials on whatever you want to learn.

Umbrellasinthesunshine · 31/05/2026 09:20

Well done! For everything you’ve achieved, and for how you’re still striving to do better.

Some jobs are a daily thing for me -
bathroom
cleaning in and around toilet and sinks (every morning after brushing teeth)
spray shower and squeegee as I get out of shower

kitchen
Morning: unload dishwasher, restack with breakfast things, wipe surfaces
evening: clean up after dinner, wipe counters, load dishwasher and send off ready for morning - mind you there’s 5 of us so it fills up quickly!

laundry:
load machine in the evening and set it to for delayed start so it is timed to be ready to go in the dryer/hung out in the morning

get home from work - fold laundry and put away

some jobs are every few days:
general hoover throughout downstairs

I’m a huge fan of the 10 minute tidy. Pick a room and set a timer. Clear clutter, quick dust and hoover.

weekly

bed changes - I tend to do 1 bed a day Mon-Thurs in the evening and stick straight in the machine

towel hot wash - generally sat/sun

mop hard surface floors (bathroom, kitchen, hall)

fridge wipe down/clear out (just before I head to do the big shop - usually Sunday)

I also batch cook every Sunday afternoon and freeze some meals for the week so cooking doesn’t have to happen every single day - saves me so much time in the evenings

clean dishwasher filter

Bleach spray and rinse out my recycling bins (built into kitchen island )

Monthly (ish)
full skirting wipe/ more general dusting and declutter
clean machines / top up dishwasher salt
inside windows/ glass doors

6 monthly - cupboard clear out and go through my wardrobe / kids wardrobes. I have a one in one out policy to prevent excessive accumulation.

Once you get into the habits the systems run on their own so if you just write yourself a plan and stick to it for a week or two you should be able to get your routine started.

Good luck 🍀

MissCooCooMcgoo · 31/05/2026 09:20
  • how do you mop properly so the water runs clear? You don't? Just mop till the floor looks clean. Your not planning on eating off it are you?
  • how often do you mop? When the floor looks dirty enough for me to care
  • how often do I hoover the rug downstairs and the stairs When it looks like it needs it
  • how often do you clean the washing machine? Why?
  • clean the skirting boards? When it looks like they need it
  • clean the loo Daily, but we are a family of 4 so it needs a daily clean, you clean a toilet to stop it smelling. Your not eating off it.
  • deep clean the bathroom weekly
  • change the bedding weekly because I have a sweaty husband. When I lived alone I did it monthly.
  • clean the fridge out wiped out weekly (or however often you shop) before your fresh food goes in
  • clean and stop the areas that get a lot of clutter? I dunno, I don't seem to win this one ever 🤣
ByOpalPear · 31/05/2026 09:21

I found that setting the expectation of i will do such and such on X day set me up for failure. I held myself to my own high expectations then felt rubbish when I didn't meet them. I dreaded the task and so i avoided it. I also found the tasks overwhelming so I avoided them and things built up. I now take it as it comes. After work each day I ask myself what I feel like doing whether that be leisure, social or housework etc. If I get to a sunday and I haven't done my housework then a Sunday it is but I try to avoid that and I tend to split it. The downstairs on one evening during the week and the upstairs on another evening or a saturday morning. I set myself a time - so for example I tell myself I will do 1 hour or 2 hours (max) and I start with what room is bothering me the most and work from there. If i felt the blinds, windows, skirting boards needed done, I just add them in on that particular day. I tend to do a clear out every season, so x4 a year so my house is pretty organised and tidy. And I tidy and wash dishes etc every evening before i go to bed and each time I leave the house for the day. I have found this works best for me and I don't feel overwhelmed by the mundane task of housework.

Clickrodio · 31/05/2026 09:21

Op I really like the touch it once process if possible. So the rule is if you pick something up put it where it belongs. Example is a dirty glass. You don’t pick it up from the living room and pop it in the kitchen you put it straight into the dishwasher. You don’t put down your coat on the chair you put it away in the cupboard. Little things like this build up so quickly.

I don’t have a routine of when to do what but do also enjoy a power clean. It’s put on a timer 10/20mins with music and see how much you can do in that time. It really helps keeps on top of the kitchen and living room.

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