Allow a play date where mum unapologetically supports children’s education tax

[GigglyOrange]

Just this really, our local independent prep school closed due to the education tax earlier this year and has caused absolute chaos for lots of families, including my own. My dd (6) has been invited for a play date with a girl she seems very friendly with and who seems very sweet, but I’ve since found out from another parent that the mum is an ‘unapologetic education taxer’. My instinct is to cancel the play date, AIBU?

Wow, bit of a rant. I’m just pointing out that we don’t all pay in, in fact most people do not now…they seem to be the keenest on everyone else paying more tax though and paying tax on children’s education was beyond the pale,

My ex went to a very prestigious private school, knowing his friends from that time there was plenty of truly horrendous parenting. Resulting in mysogynh, snobbery, high levels of drug use, a remarkable amount of underage sex, levels of debauchery myself and my state schooled peers couldn't even fathom

So was it just as immoral for private schools to hike their fees way above either wage growth or inflation over the past 15-20 years?

After all, that's reducing access to private education for a lot of kids.

I think you do want what that poster is saying though. After all, don’t you think state-educated kids are raised in homes where alcohol abuse and smoking is common? I really feel for your poor daughter. She’ll be really sheltered and won’t know how to cope once she leaves home and finally joins the real world.

So then they put their fees up if they have full school of parents who can't absorb the 20% increase then the parents must have been sailing close to the wind with the fees they could afford. That I am afraid is life, sometimes it's just not fair. What also isn't fair is hating anyone who supports the VAT rise, it doesn't mean we hate children or want their schools to close, we just want VAT to be fair.

Agreeing with vat on private schools fees absolutely isn't an extreme view!

Private schools are only accessible to the most well off sector. Even allowing for those who "make every sacrifice to afford it", without the rare full bursary it's absolutely not something your typical nurse or teacher on 39k can afford unless mummy and daddy bought them a house or they live rent free. To afford it from your post tax salary for even one child, you have to have a household income well above average/median .

All children are entitled to state school places. Independent schools are a luxury.

why would a private school want to make a profit? I’m confused!

If you do it over something so idiotically small as this, you'll do it over political parties, women's rights, political opinions other than your own.... quite the endless list.

Obviously you can imagine they were on the edge if you want, but are you also imaging a world where a 20% tax would not have a huge impact on people not deciding on independent schools.

Labour themselves predicted it would close 100 schools,

I taught briefly in a private school. I was astounded at the lazy teaching I witnessed. Nothing creative, and that was down to the expectation from the leadership- the “parents wanted” us to simply turn to the next page of the textbook. It was absolutely astonishing. I couldn’t believe people were paying for that type of experience. Hardly saw the kids as they were off to “specialists” (people who were just as qualified as state school staff and often less as they weren’t event gtcs registered), I was bored senseless to be honest. This school didn’t even have a child protection policy because “we don’t have those issues here”. Absolutely mind blowing to be honest.

You do realise most private schools are profit making? Some will have an associated charity but the vast majority are profit making businesses.

It’s not small to me, do you not understand the impact this has had on some families.

Obviously a crap school
It’s worlds away from my experience

It’s fine to have strong views on the policy itself, but it doesn’t follow that people who support it are “toxic,” unintelligent, or morally bad. That’s a very broad character judgement being drawn from a political position, and it risks turning disagreement into stereotyping.

Likewise, assuming things about someone’s lifestyle or parenting based on that view doesn’t have any basis. Most people hold these opinions for a mix of reasons about fairness, taxation, and public services, even if others strongly disagree with them.

On the play date specifically, the children are the ones with the friendship here. Unless there’s any genuine safeguarding concern (and it doesn’t sound like there is!) it’s a bit much for that to be decided on adult political disagreement. You should be able to disagree about policy without concluding the other parents are unsafe or immoral.

No, completely wrong. You do realise that only 30% are profit making businesses

www.isc.co.uk/sector-info

This is a joke, surely

So who gets paid the ‘profit’?

I actually think my private education harmed me. Not academically in the slightest - I went straight to the stop and earn very well. For this I am grateful, especially when I got divorced.

But (and admittedly this might be a particular problem related to single sex education from age 11-16) it left me unable to relate to the other sex properly and devoid of the necessary social skills that I see developing in my own children who are early teens. It took me years to unlearn a lot of prejudice and hang ups. I did have grade 7 piano though, so that's useful 🤣

Will my kids do as well academically as I have? Who knows? Maybe not.

However, if they are happy, able to relate well to all of their peers and have strong friendship groups, then that's enough for me. Obviously provided they leave with skills for the workplace, employability and a good work ethic

Still waiting to hear about what’s behind the accusations of alcohol abuse and smoking in the home of DD’s friend , @GigglyOrange

Let me know if you want me to repost your original thoughts yet again.

I could say the same about a decade of Tory austerity
But I’m not going to deny my infant and preschool aged children play dates with their friends because the parents believe in the two child benefit cap, or increasing tuition fees…

it's not the point. That you would stop your child having a playdate with someone because you have a difference of opinion about a tax issue is insane

that you are taking the other persons opinions somehow personally is also mad. The tax thing affected you personally. Her opinion does and did not.

Filtering your Childs playmates by their parents opinion on almost anything is mad beyond health and safeguarding, this is mad.

There are no accusations, only assumptions.

That’s not to personally target you, it’s to attempt to help the economy given the sorry state of affairs that preceded all this.

FWIW, I think farmers should pay IHT too

They don't understand the economy

Absolutely, with bells on as regards farmers. Another thing that should have happened a long time ago.