Allow a play date where mum unapologetically supports children’s education tax

[GigglyOrange]

Just this really, our local independent prep school closed due to the education tax earlier this year and has caused absolute chaos for lots of families, including my own. My dd (6) has been invited for a play date with a girl she seems very friendly with and who seems very sweet, but I’ve since found out from another parent that the mum is an ‘unapologetic education taxer’. My instinct is to cancel the play date, AIBU?

It's very confusing when you refer to yourself in the third person, @GigglyOrange. Yes, state education is funded by tax. What a great system - we all pay in when we have sufficient income and it's there for us all when we need it. It's called community.

I’m sorry you can’t afford private education but the vast majority can’t in the same way they can’t afford other luxury goods. Only 9% of the 6% removed their kids from private education. So not a big deal. The VAT system is not there to enable people to afford luxuries. A private education is not a right. Average day school fees are £20 k. The VAT rate applied to private education is the standard 20% on tuition, boarding, and closely related fees. However, because schools can reclaim VAT on their own costs, parents typically see a net fee increase of roughly 10-15% rather than a full 20% jump. So some will only be paying an extra £2k a year. If you weren’t able to factor in wiggle room of at least £2k when planning ahead private education probably was never a good idea.Any disruption is on the parents I’m afraid.

I was born dirt poor. And I've been well off since my 20s. And I'm as left as left incase you're wondering. I'll also fight to the death to avoid the problems I witnessed for those trying to parent in my parents community as children being carried forward to future generations.

Why do you think someone who supports VAT on school fees is enjoying other children’s misfortune?
You can support fair taxation and still be sad for the children that have been uprooted from their settings due to closure, or parents struggling to pay.
Sil has just this half term removed DN from her private school. I am staunchly anti private school, but can feel absolutely gutted for my nine year old Neurodiverse niece, who isn’t with her friends anymore, and who I appreciate might not thrive at a state school. I’m not whipping out the moet and cheering that she’s left her school for goodness sake. I’m spending my time petitioning for more equitable school funding, better access to EHCPs, and volunteering as a parent governor at our local school.
No one thinks children’s distress and upheaval is joyous for goodness sake.

I don’t really think it’s two tier, it’s more than that. Independent schools offer all sorts of specialisms : drama, music, academic, sport, Sen. It’s multi tier. Children and the way they are educated is not one size fits all USSR style. State schools themselves vary massively area to area, grammar schools out perform independent academicly.

Bad parenting and children’s behaviour is the issue ant lots of schools and I’m sorry to tell you that it’s not fixable, at least not anytime soon.
Do I really have to explain why taxing children’s education is a bad idea? What is the purpose of it? Taxes are generally to raise revenue or nudge behaviour. Which is this going for? Because they conflict with each other in this instance.

We should encourage the independent sector, maybe allocate £2k of the £8k a state school kids gets, education vouchers like in Ireland (I think) or tax incentives like in Italy?

How does any of that relate to OPs question

And do you think that entitles you to interfere in your daughters’ friendship because you’re at odds with her friends’ mothers’ politics ?

@GigglyOrange can you reply please?

“Even the government thinks so as they fund places in independent schools for some children.”

Changes are afoot to quite rightly stop this.Special schools aside nobody should be getting a private education funded by the state. It takes SEND money from the majority. The money is instead going to be ploughed into increased provision in state schools .

Yes, definitely cancel the play date. That poor child sounds like they’ve had lucky escape from going to a child’s house where the parents sound a little bonkers! Hope you can broaden your mind eventually!

It relates to quite a few of her subsequent posts.

You have repeated all of that several times.

With the fee money saved you can pay for extra clubs or tutoring or for a house deposit for your child.

You can’t afford private school that’s a shame but it’s not the end of the world. Get the chip off your shoulder

No, being her parent entitles me to do that. It’s isn’t just political, this is very personal to me and my children.

THIS IS WHAT WE WANT YOU TO EXPLAIN, OP.

Why did you say it?

The child you’re planning to deny the play date for is six. Get a grip.

No thanks! I’d like every penny possible ploughed into the state sector.

State schools offer all those things.

The school closed so I don’t have the option of being able to afford it, you need to take the time to read the thread before commenting.

I saw this argument lots when the VAT first came in. Basically that pushy middle class parents are needed to come into state from private, and those pushy parents will push for standards to rise in a way that current state school parents somehow can't, and that's what will lead to better state provision?

I'm not convinced. We live in a lovely middle class village, where most parents are middle to upper earning professionals. 1 parent is an MP, a couole are local councillors. And our daughters primary has had it budgets cut and provision drop and drop over the past 2 years.

Anyone else find this sickeningly elitist ?

It isn’t a two tier education system. It is one state system and one privately funded system.

Do you really believe that standards in state schools are not raised because affluent families can opt out?

The existence of a private option does not automatically explain why standards are poor in parts of the state sector.

What money are you talking about? Every kid who goes state costs £8k, every kid who goes independent costs £0.

It’s amazing how making a choice for a child creates such a frenzy.
Never a word when someone moves to their expensive house next to the best school.
Never a word when someone arranges extra music/language/sports lessons is there?
I think it’s hilarious that coming from a very average comp, born in a council house translates to me being a posho because I’m fussy where my DC are schooled.
Hilarious!

Except no. That is not aways the case.

Here is the Government list of indy schools on warning for low standards.

Independent schools: warning notices and enforcement letters - GOV.UK (www.gov.uk)

So, it appears not all school closures are due to VAT. Some are just not good enough schools.

This is not my field at all, but it appears to be yours. So do you have data to back up what you appear to be claiming ?

It’s not that simple. Compare Havastock where Labour send their kids to with a state school in Middlesbrough.

its not just state vs indi

She's going to continue to stonewall and avoid answering given that her faux bewilderment didn't work.