Allow a play date where mum unapologetically supports children’s education tax

[GigglyOrange]

Just this really, our local independent prep school closed due to the education tax earlier this year and has caused absolute chaos for lots of families, including my own. My dd (6) has been invited for a play date with a girl she seems very friendly with and who seems very sweet, but I’ve since found out from another parent that the mum is an ‘unapologetic education taxer’. My instinct is to cancel the play date, AIBU?

Keeping yourself and your children in an echo chamber where everyone thinks the same is about the biggest disservice you can do to a child.

Care for them in what way? In what way do you care for then that I don’t? I’m one of the 43% net tax payers who funds state schools, I think I do my bit.

If she's invited your DD, she's obviously either not prepared to take your politics out on the children, doesn't see politics as a barrier, or doesn't know you feel this way. So I'd assume DD is welcome and go ahead.

So what about answering the people who've asked you to evidence that comment?

Please answer why a two tier education system is morally ok,
(meaning we don’t raise standards in state schools, because affluent families can opt out, and pay for the premium product, ie independents)
But taxation is not?

Hahahah WTF??? Do you think she will attack you and come up with scheme to get back at you? 😂

She will probably laugh and think you must be batshit crazy like most people on this thread 😂.

You're the one coming across as unhinged and conspiratorial 😂 you're the one who has spent all this time arguing on mumsnet over a non issue with over 4 pages of posts, accusing the girls mother of being an alcoholic because she supports VAT for private care school tuition etc. give it a rest, you're just a jobless troll.

Will you ever answer this?

It’s not quite that far is it, it’s avoiding one loud mouth education taxer who is enjoying other kids misfortune. One of those kids being mine.

What is it you want me to answer? I believe you I wrote it, it’s fine.

Probably not. She can't and she knows she can't. I for one am going to keep asking though.

No, just that it will be awkward at school gates/ functions

Oh come on, you're using massively emotive language about spitefulness towards privately educated children. You don't care that most children don't have the option of a private education, but you think it's imoral that some children whose parents would previously been able to afford it now fall in the can't afford it category.

You've been told repeatedly what the comment was people have asked you to evidence.

Gosh not awkwardness at school functions 🫨 I'm so sorry. I'd no idea how deep your suffering went.

I want you to answer my question about why you accused your daughter’s friend’s mum of running a home where there’s alcohol abuse and smoking??

So to be clear you don’t agree with Vat on school fees!
Not charging vat on fees was a loophole, it’s now closed. It’s nothing to do with envy! Or spite or cruelty.

And Just think little Jessica has a better chance of getting into oxbridge now

This.

How much misfortune is your child suffering? Is she growing up in a warzone? Does she live in poverty with food insecurity? Is she in overcrowded or insecure housing? Is she a victim of abuse in a secretive multi generational dysfunctional family? Does she have asthma and live in a home filled with rising damp? Is she orphaned? Being raised in foster care due to a difficult home life with her birth family? Does she have significant disabilities?

Or is she actually a very fortunate child in a functional family living in a nice area with supportive parents and clearly who has made friends given the birthday party invite you are keen to snub? The level of sympathy I have for your child needs to fall pretty low on the scale of sympathy I have for disadvantaged kids, I feel like the 'musfortube' she has suffered is unlikely to impact her long term in a meaningful way compared to the children suffering in above ways and more

😂😂

You would have a valid point if there was a good quality suitable state education available to everyone child. However, there are many children for whom state schools cannot meet need at the moment, and for whom an independent school is a necessity, not a luxury. Even the government thinks so as they fund places in independent schools for some children.

I don't agree with the concept of private or grammar in theory. But until there is a high quality, safe, suitable school place available for every child, where the environment enables the child to learn to the best of their ability, where they are not subjected to violence, disrupted lessons, sensory overload etc , I feel independent schools should not be subject to VAT.

OK. So just as a matter of interest, done some quick internet searching, and apparently 105 indy schools closed since the VAT came in.

Be careful of info here in case of doxing etc.

These are just quick searches, not research.

105 Private Schools Close After Labour's VAT on Fees, Affecting 25,000 Pupils - British Brief (britbrief.co.uk)

But check the data on the number of indy schools in the UK. The number has been increasing from 2020 to 2025.

UK ISC private schools 2025| Statista

In 2024 there were 1411. 2025 there were 1423. But that is Independent schools council membership. Not all schools will be in that I suspect.

The British Educational suppliers association say there are 2461 indy schools in the UK.

So a quick search, and the number of indy schools do appear to be increasing each year.

Oh, I just found a site that says 77claim closed due to VAT.

And here is an article that says more have opened than closed since VAT

More private schools have opened than closed since Labour's VAT hike (inews.co.uk)

This post is a bit muddled sorry. But my point is that indy school numbers do appear to be increasing.

Do you have data to support what you are suggesting ?

FFS OP get a grip. Your politics and that of this mum are nothing to do with your children’s’ friendship. Grow up - your child is probably more mature than you at this point.

I like the private school parents being taxed and I don’t drink alcohol or smoke so what does that mean about me. Weird, weird thing to say.

Am really hoping this is all just a bit of silliness but restricting your daughter’s social life because of some sort of random political stance of some other parent is bizarre. Do you lecture children about politics at play dates? Sounds super boring. You should stop doing that.

My family is Jewish and my son has a friend who isn’t allowed to come to his parties or for a playdate as his family ‘doesn’t believe in that’ and I think that’s pretty crap too. It is not my job to police my kids’ friends - outside of safety issues or smoking in the home (my daughter and I both have asthma), I don’t ask questions.

Also the most die hard leftists I know are middle class people who are rebelling against their right wing parents. At uni, the Marxist society was populated by the sons and daughters of hardline right wingers and poshos. I was born dirt poor, a these people are well and truly left of me. Your kids may well end up members of the communist party 😂😂.