Allow a play date where mum unapologetically supports children’s education tax

[GigglyOrange]

Just this really, our local independent prep school closed due to the education tax earlier this year and has caused absolute chaos for lots of families, including my own. My dd (6) has been invited for a play date with a girl she seems very friendly with and who seems very sweet, but I’ve since found out from another parent that the mum is an ‘unapologetic education taxer’. My instinct is to cancel the play date, AIBU?

Give your head a wobble.

This will have zero impact on the relationship between two 6 year olds.

You might also consider that it’s actually a good thing to bring up your child to respect that people have difference opinions and that’s ok

Also whatever the rights and wrongs of
political views you can have awful
people with lovely kids and vice versa

I am sure that now DD is in state school the “unapologetic education taxer” view must be quite common. So I agree with you, OPs, DD won’t be going to any play dates.

But we must all live to our convictions.

OP, is there in chance that your DD will return to the independent sector in the future?

Although I’ve just read all your updates and am now thinking the other parent has had a lucky escape. You’re quite an extremist.

Yes and no, this is something that has caused disruption to many children for no gain for anyone. It’s hard to not see it as anything but spite aimed at children. It’s over the line for me.

I've been on MN a looooong time and over all those years seen some pretty ridiculous threads, and/or posters.

This one is certainly right up there with the most ridiculous.
First the whole premise of not letting your child play with a child they like, because you might hold a different opinion on a topic from that child's parent.

Then, calling the closing of the loophole that allowed some businesses not to pay VAT on a luxury that some people choose to spend money on an "Education Tax" and doubling down on it again and again.

Then assuming, because you've heard that a person holds a different opinion from yourself on one particular policy, that they must therefore be an alcoholic.

It's just wild. and presumably a wind up before the kids go back to school after half term.

Education tax 😆

Also I would imagine that alcohol abuse/smoking would be likely in the home.

Is this based on evidence you have seen or do you imagine this is the case purely because the mum is in support of the private fee tax?

Surely by your logic the private schools are immoral for charging children for education in the first place because it puts limits on which children can attend? Most independent schools turn a profit and staff take more than a living wage which means they have to charge parents huge amounts, isn’t this mean and limiting when they could all volunteer their time for free so that more children could attend?

Why are the government immoral because they are forcing the schools to increase fees by 20%, limiting the numbers of children who can attend, if the fact the fees already excluded huge numbers of the population didn’t make the schools immoral in the first place?

I really don’t understand how you can think that education not everybody can afford is fine, but at the same time think making private education more expensive an issue of morality? It seems really the issue here is just that you went from one of the people who could afford it to one who couldn’t. I don’t think you’d care at all if either you were rich enough that you could still afford it or if you were somebody for whom it would never have been an option anyway. The reality is you don’t see anything immoral in making education unaffordable for huge proportions of the population, you just see it immoral that now it is unaffordable for you.

The teachers are the same as private and state schools. Teachers in state schools often have better terms and conditions where they are.

The vast majority of children have a perfectly good tax free education. If you choose to have a taxed education for your child that’s entirely your right as a parent.

How on Earth did you meet this woman and her child if you hate her so much?

Why didn't the school cut costs? They genuinely will NOT have been 'forced' to put up fees. That will have been a choice.

This need to economise, to do more with less, has been part of how state education is managed for years now.

I can't understand why private schools haven't chosen to increase class sizes/reduce options/sell space etc. etc. rather than close down!

Goodness, what a bonkers op. Is this real? 😬

This view that all state school parents are spiteful idiots supporting taxing children education just isn’t true, so yes I think she’ll be good for other play dates,

Possibly independent sector in the future, don’t really want them to move schools again anytime soon though. See what types of kids they turn out to be, drama, sports, academic. We have two children so we’re £36k a year better off, which is a huge amount for us and takes the pressure off.

How is it spite aimed at children?? It’s literally aimed at making opportunities more equal for children in state schools, who are over 90% of the population and have way fewer opportunities than children in private schools.

You haven’t said why you have concerns about alcohol abuse and smoking around the play date, OP.

Have you personally witnessed concerning behaviour around these? For me that would be a reason to stop it. Rumour, no.

Also in my (EU) hometown we had a Seminar programme in our local state school. It was an incredible, intensive experimental education allowing the option of taking some final year classes at the esteemed local university. Admission was by invitation. And you had all the advantages - sports, clubs, etc - of the wider school.

Independent school was very much a second choice, because it meant you had not been invited into Seminar. More generally independent schools are for DC with SEN (we have a way to go with SEN pupils) or who are thought a bit fragile or problematic. State schools and religious schools are held in high esteem, even by the rich.

It's not an education tax. It's a tax on a private company masquerading as a charity.

I expect the other mother is dreading meeting you too.

Some did, some couldn’t because they were already on very tight margins and have no land to sell

My DGCs school did and were able to claim more VAT back and passed that on to fees. 7% increase rather 20%.

I reported. Not a troll apparently but agree she is a wind up merchant or she wouldn't have name changed.

I only know our old school, but I imagine they’re all pretty much the same. They did cut costs, bursaries and scholarships were scrapped but only for new children as the school didn’t want to interrupt existing children’s education. Apparently the costs are largely the buildings themselves, staff, energy, food. They couldn’t reduce the fees and people started to leave, there was also a lot of rhetoric aimed at independently educated children from Labour so I think some parents thought this is not good. I think now we know Labour are going, things might calm down a bit.

I'm sure they did, as Reeves was promising them a significant increase in funding, paid for by the VAT on private schools. As an NHS health professional I also voted for them as we were promised more funding. Has either of these promises materialised? Nope, both have had real term funding cuts of around 8-12% over this parliament

What is chomp on and what do you mean name changed?

@GigglyOrange “This view that all state school parents are spiteful idiots….”

You are the only one on this thread that has put that thought out there.

You sound insufferable, think you’ll be doing the woman a favour by cancelling!