Allow a play date where mum unapologetically supports children’s education tax

[GigglyOrange]

Just this really, our local independent prep school closed due to the education tax earlier this year and has caused absolute chaos for lots of families, including my own. My dd (6) has been invited for a play date with a girl she seems very friendly with and who seems very sweet, but I’ve since found out from another parent that the mum is an ‘unapologetic education taxer’. My instinct is to cancel the play date, AIBU?

It is for some children. It was never actually intended to raise any money for state education, labour knew this, but it was a vote winner 'let's make those poshos pay more, if my child cant have it then theirs shouldn't either', which does feel a bit spiteful. And for those children with high academic ability SEN, private is often the only option which can meet need, so then if parents can't afford with the VAT then the children may have to move which is tough on them.

But the biggest issue with it was that it was billed as 'answer to issues in state schools', when it clearly wasn't, and they don't seem to have any other plan to improve things, and state schools are struggling more and more.

@GigglyOrange I support the education tax.

I also support taxing people like you for using American terms like "play date." You're not an American and your life is not a TV show.

Op- yabvu and silly. People can have different views.

And what happened before 1984 when Thatcher created this tax dodge loophole for the rich to hide their wealth in land ?

Every child is entitled to a state education which meets their learning and broader needs. I'm not sure that in reality every child actually has access to this?

If you do cancel you should explain to your daughter that’s she’s no longer able to see her friend because you and her parent might disagree on the removal of the VAT tax exemption on private school fees. I’m sure she’ll understand.

Great post

How ridiculous! Are you only going to let your child mix with people who agree with you?

There is no education tax. Education is paid for out of general taxation.

If you are referring to the loss of VAT exemption for private schools, that is entirely different. It has long been an anomaly, as private schools are very definitely not charities, and this needed abolishing but personally I would have phased it in slowly to allow for schools to adapt their budgets and for parents to save and to avoid disruption to children's lives.

Talk about 1st world problems. Most parents would just be grateful that their child, has someone kind to play with.

They already are entitled to a tax-free education – in state schools.

Independent sector education is a luxury – that's why it's taxed under VAT rules.

I think every child should be entitled to a tax free education.There is quite clearly something fundamentally wrong with a country that deliberately limits its own children’s plurality of education options
You keep forgetting one word in your comment: 'privileged'.

Read: there is quite clearly something fundamentally wrong with a country that deliberately limits it's own PRIVILEGED children's plurality of education options.

Doesn't read exactly the same now.

YABU
I completely unapologetically support VAT on fees.
DOI. Privately educated. Kids in state school. Many of my friends are privately educating their children and many not.
My kids play with a mix of friends in both school types.
We all accept that political views and spending priorities differ.
The country's finances are screwed. Extra revenue needs to come from somewhere.

Ridiculous. Get a grip.

She understands that some people wanted her old school to close down, but we couldn’t really answer why to be honest. I think she’s a bit too young to explain tall poppy syndrome. She took it pretty badly having to move schools, but seemingly more settled now. I don’t want her knowing that her friends mum is one of the people who wanted the school to close down, I think it will be upsetting for her.

Which to me, is part of why private schools shouldn't exist. If rich people (including politicians, journalists etc) had to send their kids to state school, they'd have more incentive to make sure state schools were well funded. Well funded schools are more likely to be able to provide a suitable education for everyone.

I'll happily admit that I'm not an education expert and I might not be right on this. But I'm not the one saying everyone else is immoral for thinking differently to me, OP is.

If it’s a net tax loss would you no longer support it?

Yes indeed, and also explains why only a minority of those who can afford it actually do send their children to private school.

Perhaps they shouldn’t have chosen a man - Clarkson- who openly boasted that he became a ‘farmer’ to avoid IHT as their spokesperson then… not to mention the threshold for the farmers is HIGH …

We could afford it but didn’t - moral objections mostly, also believing that the best education is a rounded one and not one in a bubble of extreme privilege

This is very true, and I agree that tutoring shouldnt be a thing. But once lots do it, it feels necessary to also do it to put my child on a level playing field.

Plus times have changed - my parents got me to sit an entrance test for a scholarship at a private school, no prep, just showed up, I passed but didn't want to go, so went to a pretty rubbish comp with my mates.

I got 10 A's and A* at GCSE, 4 A at level, a 1st in my degree from a top uni, so I think I'm pretty academic. I took one of my daughters test papers just out of interest and failed it by a large margin as not familiar with the concepts. The tutoring isn't to boost their knowledge/intelligence, it's mainly for test technique as the questions are very specific and need to be answered at speed.

People who support the VAT don't want private schools to close down - the whole point is to raise money.

Unless she's a Nazi, tortures small animals in her spare time, or is looking to marry a sex offender in jail she became penpals with; I'd probably let most differences go TBH.

I actually understand your concerns, OP. I don't think anybody on this thread has sought to understand the deeper, misconstrued complexities that go with the added VAT.

Communities built around schools that crumble due to unemployment, state schools overfilled because less parents can afford fees. Yes, the money harboured was supposed to come to state schools, but from teaching in one (until very recently and moving to a private school because it was hell), I can categorically tell you none of it is being diverted there.

That said, I don't think you can dictate who your children do and don't play with due to political stance. My son has friends from many different walks of life - it's important to educate them that others can have opposing views and that it's 'okay'.

Allow him to figure it out for himself I say.

Why did you tell her that some people wanted her school to close? Seems a strange bitter thing to tell a 6 year old.

Not allowing your child.to play with children whose parents have different political views to you is very sad. Regardless of her parents views n on VAT on private education they are not the views of the little girl your child is intending to play with. I find it highly unlikely that the parents are going to engage your 6-year-old in a political discussion about taxation policy. In the incredibly unlikely event they did, you could stop future get to togethers. However, lets face it - it isnt going to happen. I have happily waved my DD off to play with families with very different views and values to my own. We arent all the same and growing up is about exploring outside yor immediate family.
There was a similar thread to this a few years ago. I struggle to understand how any one could behave in this way. If this is true, all your actions are achieving is making two little girls sad.