AIBU to ask my friend not to compare our children's height?

[Hokeyjokey]

I have a young DS, friend of mine has a DD the same age.
We meet up once every few weeks/months with the children to play etc.

Every single time, without fail, my friend will comment something along the lines of “OMG look at how much taller she is than him AGAIN” whilst looking at both children seemingly aghast.

It REALLY annoys me, I think because I don’t like seeing him being openly compared physically to another child, because it’s unnecessary and irrelevant, and also because I definitely get the impression that the implication is that “taller” is the more positive physical attribute.

AIBU with this? Taking it too personally? Maybe projecting my own internal bullshit a bit?
Would this irritate any of you?

I’m thinking next time it happens to respond by asking her not to make comparisons between them.

People like this think it's a personal achievement to have tall children, it's so boring and annoying.

It's like the "oh my 1m old baby is wearing 6-9m clothing" brigade - so fucking what?!

For what it's worth, I love that my youngest is tiny - she's my baby one so I like that she is still small 💖 I don't even want a giant child but people like to point out how big their's are to me.

You're actually average height for a woman 😜

I'm amazed at how many women describe themselves as short when they're actually a perfectly average height (albeit possibly at the lower end).

As human adults as a whole go, they are shorter than average; but then that would probably apply to 90% of women, so you're really just comparing apples with oranges.

I can understand your feelings on this especially if ifs a constant comparison.
Maybe you are taking it to heart when it wasnt meant will malice.
My adult son and i were just talking about this exact same issue that happened to him a child with his best friend (a girl) her mum constantly pointing out how much taller she was than him.It got really bad between the ages of 10 and 14 yrs. My sons 6 ft 4 now and his friend is 5 ft 4.
I asked if it upset him and he said no, he'd calculated his probable adult height from my and my husbands heights and felt quietly confident he'd grow taller.
its probably thoughtless and i dont think it unreasonable to ask your friend not to compare the childrens height as it can cause stress.

She's being annoying. Tell her to shut up about it.

.

I am fascinated by how differently boys and girls grow and the way boys can suddenly shoot up a foot at 16yo.

Maybe next time you should launch into an incredibly boring scientific analysis of why this is, and warn her that any mention of height will make you repeat the whole thing again every single time you meet up.

I would be very very clear with her that you don't want her commenting on your childs physical appearance.

This. I’m 5ft 1.5 and it really annoys me when people of average height say they are small!

There is nothing more annoying then someone constantly repeating something and acting shocked about it

Tell her you’re happy as long as his feet reach the ground.

I would just say I know you say it every single time. Hopefully she will realise how boring she sounds

We once went to look at house and DD was asleep in her car seat (about 8 months old). Son of the household about two ish was tearing round the house totally out of control and DD snoozed away quietly - she was a very ‘good’ baby ie never any real trouble. The lady of the house took great delight in informing us that babies who sleep a lot aren’t very bright. 🤔. Rude. She clearly knew her son was on some spectrum so maybe was deflecting.

"The nicest things come in small packages" should shut her up.

I don't really understand this attitude - as a woman I absolutely adore being petite!

I also have one tall DD (like her dad) and one short DD (like me). Both beautiful, clever, and I don't particularly see height as something to aspire to? I wouldn't be taller even if I could be!

This! And that some people (usually men) seem to want prizes for it.

I’d say one of the following

“yes, she is a big lass”
”Gosh, she is a gangly one”
”Are all the girls in your family so lanky?”
“At least you won’t lose her in a crowd!”

Are you sure she’s just not a bit insecure. I don’t think in general being tall is the compliment for women as it is for men, so her saying her daughter is tall isn’t really a boast, more of an ‘oh god, when is she going to stop growing’.

My friends keep calling me short arse and laughing at my step stool that I need to reach stuff off higher shelves 😂
And I buy petite clothes too 😆

I don't agree with this but isn't it because it is more desirable to be taller particularly for a boy aka they provide think they are being complimentary.

I don't know about that, models are tall and I think society perhaps projects it as a positive like willowy. I know my DD teen thinks this and wants to be taller, she's average and skinny but she says you can't be willowy at average.

Not in the UK she's not, apparently 5ft4.5

You can still fall into the common average range, though, even if you aren't bang in the middle.

If you were introduced to 20 people one at a time, and were told that 10 were exactly 5'3" and 10 were exactly 5'4.5", would you definitely be able to group every one of them correctly?

...Also, the averages tend to differ somewhat depending on people's generation and their own actual age. An individual will very likely be more than one exact height during their adult life.

This.

Dont agree with what? And no, not everyone likes being tall as the original post in this sub-thread stated.

Tell her to STFU - she sounds like a combat that Id try and avoid or if you’re brave enough you could challenge her and ask her to cut it out and keep her mouth shut about it.

@Hokeyjokey For what it’s worth: girls‘ femurs ossify at about 18 whereas boys‘ femurs ossify at around 21 - that’s why boys grow for longer than girls.