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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have lost my shit over a fan heater?

47 replies

SkibidiSigma · 27/05/2026 03:43

I woke up around 3:00 needing a wee and DP wasn't in bed. I went downstairs and he's asleep in his chair with a fucking fan heater blasting on him. We have had many words about this bloody heater and his inappropriate use of it and I gave threatened to get rid of it several times. The reasons I am furious are:

It is hot - was 27 yesterday
It's a waste of electricity and we can't afford it right now
He also had an actual fan blasting on him too (WTAF)
He has made me so cross I can't get back to sleep, which is making me even angrier.

Yes I'm very hormonal at the moment but who the fuck uses a heater in the middle of a heatwave??

OP posts:
NoGarlic · 27/05/2026 03:48

Just checking - did he have the fan heating element on, or was it acting as an extra fan (no heat)?

SkibidiSigma · 27/05/2026 04:00

NoGarlic · 27/05/2026 03:48

Just checking - did he have the fan heating element on, or was it acting as an extra fan (no heat)?

The heat was on, I felt it the minute I went in the room. He denied he'd meant to have the heat on but I don't believe him tbh

OP posts:
butterfly1234 · 27/05/2026 04:05

Assuming he's a full grown adult who pays his own way, I reckon he gets to choose how he warms/cools himself. If he was using both a cooling fan and and heating fan together on a hot day, surely that suggests using the heating element was in fact a mistake? Why else would he do that?

SkibidiSigma · 27/05/2026 04:10

butterfly1234 · 27/05/2026 04:05

Assuming he's a full grown adult who pays his own way, I reckon he gets to choose how he warms/cools himself. If he was using both a cooling fan and and heating fan together on a hot day, surely that suggests using the heating element was in fact a mistake? Why else would he do that?

Edited

Part of me thinks that too, especially as he works in a freezer and likes to put the heater on him after work - totally understandable. He has an obsession with fans and loves the noise, but also the heat from the heater. I don't think putting the heat on was a mistake and he definitely shouldn't have fallen asleep with it on. Those fan heaters are expensive to run and things are tight at the moment and it is seriously warm here too. Plus who needs 2 fans on them anyway??

OP posts:
Cooshawn · 27/05/2026 04:15

What exactly is it that you're angry about? Because to be so angry you can't sleep is quite extreme.

He's an adult, and should be able to take responsibility for regulating his body temperature without having to run it by you for approval first?

SkibidiSigma · 27/05/2026 04:20

Cooshawn · 27/05/2026 04:15

What exactly is it that you're angry about? Because to be so angry you can't sleep is quite extreme.

He's an adult, and should be able to take responsibility for regulating his body temperature without having to run it by you for approval first?

I've explained - mostly the financial side and it's just an unnecessary waste of money. I'd understand if it was actually cold!! I'm fed up with constantly worrying about money when it just goes right over his head.

Yes I accept my anger is probably excessive but I am in the grips of an awful period and have just started HRT and not sleeping well anyway which is I think making it worse.

OP posts:
UniquePinkSwan · 27/05/2026 05:31

I have 2 fans blasting on me at night right now. If my DH got mad at me I’d tell him to piss off. They don’t use that much electricity anyway

WellFineThen · 27/05/2026 05:36

It's only in the UK where people are obsessed about electricity costs for things that hardly cost anything at all. My MIL is like this and it does my head in!

OP - does he pay the bills or contribute? Because, if so, why can't he just use the fans? If he isn't worried, why give yourself something to worry about? As long as you have a roof over your head, food in your stomach and all the necessities, why can't he have this one luxury?

These are questions you need to ask yourself and not feel like you have to respond to me, btw. I understand being low on sleep and being aggravated at the world.

I'm in the situation, atm, myself. So, sympathise but also think it might be helpful for you to get some perspective so things don't blow up when he awakens!

RampantIvy · 27/05/2026 05:46

It's only in the UK where people are obsessed about electricity costs for things that hardly cost anything at all.

Because in the UK they are expensive to run, and don't hardly cost anything at all.

RedTagAlan · 27/05/2026 05:47

Does the heater part not have a thermostat ? Or does it heat when switched on no matter what ?

Maybe get one with a thermostat. So it cuts the heat at a set temp?

Chlorpool · 27/05/2026 05:48

UniquePinkSwan · 27/05/2026 05:31

I have 2 fans blasting on me at night right now. If my DH got mad at me I’d tell him to piss off. They don’t use that much electricity anyway

Fan ‘heater’ there’s a difference. Presumably you have two fans to cool you down and no heating element.

ThejoyofNC · 27/05/2026 05:58

I'd have launched it out the back door then and there. Sitting with a heater and a fan on you is taking the bloody piss.

WellFineThen · 27/05/2026 06:01

RampantIvy · 27/05/2026 05:46

It's only in the UK where people are obsessed about electricity costs for things that hardly cost anything at all.

Because in the UK they are expensive to run, and don't hardly cost anything at all.

Sure. I've seen people complain about the cost of hair dryers, fans, tumble dryers, heaters but the TV runs night and day and no one bats an eye. To each their own.

RampantIvy · 27/05/2026 06:13

WellFineThen · 27/05/2026 06:01

Sure. I've seen people complain about the cost of hair dryers, fans, tumble dryers, heaters but the TV runs night and day and no one bats an eye. To each their own.

Running a fan heater is significantly more expensive than running a TV. A 2kW fan heater costs about 55p per hour to run, whereas a standard 43" to 55" TV uses only about 1.5p to 2.5p per hour. The heater consumes roughly 20 to 40 times more electricity.

Appliances that generate heat (like fan heaters, toasters, and ovens) require massive amounts of energy to rapidly change the temperature of the air.
Modern TVs are designed to be highly energy-efficient, primarily displaying images and processing sounds rather than radiating heat making them a fraction of the cost of a fan heater.

Chocolattcoffeecup · 27/05/2026 06:18

I can see that it's annoying but your reaction is extreme

WellFineThen · 27/05/2026 06:22

RampantIvy · 27/05/2026 06:13

Running a fan heater is significantly more expensive than running a TV. A 2kW fan heater costs about 55p per hour to run, whereas a standard 43" to 55" TV uses only about 1.5p to 2.5p per hour. The heater consumes roughly 20 to 40 times more electricity.

Appliances that generate heat (like fan heaters, toasters, and ovens) require massive amounts of energy to rapidly change the temperature of the air.
Modern TVs are designed to be highly energy-efficient, primarily displaying images and processing sounds rather than radiating heat making them a fraction of the cost of a fan heater.

I still think it's weird.

Soontobe60 · 27/05/2026 06:32

Personally I’d be more worried about his health if he felt the need to have a fan heater on in this weather. You say he works in a freezer - maybe his thermal body regulation is messed up a bit like someone having hot flushes through menopause but in reverse?
Suggest he sees a doctor.

PrizedPickledPopcorn · 27/05/2026 06:53

WellFineThen · 27/05/2026 06:22

I still think it's weird.

If it’s a struggle to meet your bills and save for a pension, then you need to keep electricity use down. That’s not weird, it’s wise.

Wasting power wastes money and damages the environment.

PrizedPickledPopcorn · 27/05/2026 06:54

OP, try him with wheat packs, electric water bottles, or a heated throw. Maybe that’s a more efficient way for him to feel toasty.

SkibidiSigma · 27/05/2026 06:55

I managed to get a bit more sleep and am feeling calmer. I know I was irrationality annoyed but this is far from the first time something like this happened and everything seems bigger in the middle of the night. It's frustrating when we discuss how to reduce bills and I'm the only one who ever actually does anything about it. He has enough fans not to need to even have the heater out at this time of year but he won't put it away

I have actually suggested he sees a doctor and think as he's getting older the cold working environment is taking its toll tbh. Hopefully he will have a different job soon

OP posts:
WellFineThen · 27/05/2026 06:56

PrizedPickledPopcorn · 27/05/2026 06:53

If it’s a struggle to meet your bills and save for a pension, then you need to keep electricity use down. That’s not weird, it’s wise.

Wasting power wastes money and damages the environment.

Don't care about environment etc. The reason I stated what I stated was because if DH is paying for everything and OP is not lacking, then it's weird to me that she would begrudge him his heater using cost as the reason.

SkibidiSigma · 27/05/2026 07:05

WellFineThen · 27/05/2026 06:56

Don't care about environment etc. The reason I stated what I stated was because if DH is paying for everything and OP is not lacking, then it's weird to me that she would begrudge him his heater using cost as the reason.

Like many people we are struggling with money at the moment. The bills affect me too!

OP posts:
WellFineThen · 27/05/2026 07:07

SkibidiSigma · 27/05/2026 07:05

Like many people we are struggling with money at the moment. The bills affect me too!

Ok, that's fair enough. But, your post doesn't say what you're giving up to assist with bills? It just suggests that it's the heater, in isolation, that is causing the issue and I wasn't sure if this was the case or you were feeling this way because lack of sleep etc.

Nihongo · 27/05/2026 07:19

The amount of women on here who seem to treat their husband like children is ridiculous .

Who is the higher earner OP? Presumably he works and contributes towards the bills.

He’s an adult, if he wants to use a fan so what?

You’re being ridiculous.

roses2 · 27/05/2026 07:23

Cooshawn · 27/05/2026 04:15

What exactly is it that you're angry about? Because to be so angry you can't sleep is quite extreme.

He's an adult, and should be able to take responsibility for regulating his body temperature without having to run it by you for approval first?

Seriously you’ve never had insomnia because someone has pissed you off?

OP that’s batshit plus dangerous to sleep with a fan heater on in this heat plus a fan also! I hope you woke him up when you walked in.

If he is wasting eg £50/month in summer months I dread to think what it is costing in winter. Yes he is an earner too but that’s money that could be used for savings or better quality food instead of heating on a hot day.

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