My mother has just been diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer, terminal, completely out of the blue. She was bluelighted in last Wednesday with stomach pains and got a terminal bowel cancer diagnosis on Thursday. To say we are blindsided is an understatement.
I have four children - two are doing GCSEs and A levels, two are about to graduate (but have finished their finals). We all want to keep this from the two doing public exams and so I'm working and pretending all is fine, after dashing down to see my mother, father and brother last weekend having made up an excuse about getting out of the way whilst they revise...
Today my mother has been told she will be given 3 months of chemo to see whether it can buy a bit more time, which is better news than we hoped. However, once she starts chemo, she is going to be super careful about who she sees due to her suppressed immunity.
So, my AIBU is - would I be completely unreasonable to tell the older two now and not the younger two? The older two would then be able to visit before they get into being in large groups/graduation balls etc albeit I know that I will ruin the last few carefree weeks of their uni experience....or do I not say anything to any of them until the younger two have finished - which may mean they can't see her for quite some time?! I am planning to go down the second the final A level exam is done in three weeks time and take over from my brother who is holding the fort currently (no children, and he's a surgeon with the specialty in my mother's cancer :-( ). The prognosis is "to think in weeks, months, but not years" so we hope there is a bit of time, although my brother says these things can go sideways very quickly.