This is rhetorical because I know I am not and if anyone says I am I will flounce. But am I being unreasonable when we are totally skint and facing complete financial meltdown to insist that dp gets his inheritance from his brother

[twinsetandpearls]

I have posted on this topic before dp brother has our inheritance which is a very large sum of money in a bank account, it has been there for months and he keeps finding excuses not to hand it over.

We need the money to start our new life, we were carers to dp mother and her partner and so had to live here. His mother knew we wanted to move away and said she hoped we would use the money to start a new life. Expecting the money we put our house on the market, we have new jobs and are ready to go in a few months.

Except his brother still has the money, we have used all our savings up getting things ready to sell, travelling up and down to Dorset as well as my medical bills. We are now down to about thirty pound to last to the end of the month.

Dp has his head buried in the sand, I have just said to him in a very calm manner if you do not get that money of your brother we are in trouble and maybe the fact that we can't afford to eat as of next week will motivate you to get that money. Dp has now walked out slamming all of the doors in the house on the way.

We are supposed to be going to Dorset in a few weeks and paying a deposit on a house so we have an address and can get dd into a school. If we do not have that money we can't get somewhere to live and dd has no school. We will have no momey for removals vans or moving expenses but we have to leave as I have a job there but at the end of August no job here.

Is there any chance hes already had it?

oh no is this still going on? I remember your post about them not answering the phone etc

am sorry, what a stressful situation for you

sorry to hear this is still going on.

Can you phone him up and if he doesn't do anyhting threaten legal intervention.

If your dp isn't doing anything and doesn't seem to be willing to can you?

Blimey! I havent seen your previous posts, so can't imagine how/why your dp's brother has your inheritance. But surely you now need to take legal action? He sounds like a tosser, so prob telling him you can't afford to eat won't cut much ice. Hopefully threatening legal action might.
Good luck

I think you need to see a solicitor tbh

Go round to their house and ask what's going on maybe? If direct approach fails then could you afford to get a solicitor's letter to him somehow?

They have answered the phone , dp and brother have met up. We have seen the statement of the accout dated a few weeks ago with the total amount of money in it. So unless he has been on a huge shopping spree in the last few weeks it is still there.

Dp says he is jealous that we are making a new start and is trying to mess it up.

Was there a will? Has it gone through probate or whatever it has to do?

Why not just tell the brother yourself that he has 5 days to release the funds or you will go to a solicitor? Or ask your dh to explain his financial plans to you. Ask him how he intends to feed you all and get you moved and pay the deposit. Running away every time you try to discuss it is pathetic of him.

You don't suppose the brother has spent it, do you?

Ooh TwinsetI remember your lovely house on the Property thread. I think that was you.

Do you think your BIL could have spent it or put it into an investment where he can't get it out of?

Or has your dh agreed to do this with him and hasn't dared tell you?

sorry, x-posts.

Legal time, I think!

so he showed you the statement of the account but still dind't transfer the money over to you?

If your finances are that poor you may qualify for legal aid, I would seek all the advice on where you stand and then contact the theif brother by telephone and then email (as this is recorded asking for a read receipt, give it a fun heading so he reads it!!). It's time to step up a level and get what's rightfully yours.

Malory's suggestion is the correct first port of call. You need to contact the executors &, separately, ask for a copy of the will. Anyone can get a copy of a will once the immediate family has probate. Look at your Citizens' Advice on-line for how to do this - it is free.

Once you can show that you are supposed to have this money then, legally, the brother has to hand it over. If he doesn't, surely it's theft?? You have to get your own position onto a clear legal footing if the family isn't playing ball.

is he going to give you the interest he presumably is accruing ? I'm assuming it's a large amount?

I don't think there is anything I can do as dp and I are not married, there was no will. She had no property as dp had bought her house about 10 15 years ago and she sold this to live with her dp. She just had money in various bank accounts which has been put into one account under dp brothers name and is then to be divided between dp and BIL. I thought the problem was that there was no will so it was taking ages but I have seen the statements and know when the money was released.

Does seem a bit odd that your DP isn't as livid as you are - is he absolutely committed to your new house / new life?

Yes the interest is coming our way.

The daft thing is we can't afford to go to his house and meet him.

legal time i think. and tell Bro-in-law so.
this is your family's future here. Dh needs to kick his brother's arse into gear and sort it ot now.
good luck with it.

I have asked him that exact question sparkletastic as has my mum and everyone else who knows about the situation. The move away is his idea. He is so excited about moving but seems to be ignoring the fact we are speeding towards a brick wall of meltdown.

Dp is the kind of person who is so laid back he is horizontal, maybe he is as stressed as me but is trying to hide it. Maybe that is why he has just stormed off.

Huge issues between dp and his brother, they get on on the surface but are very jealous of each other. His brother left home as soon as e could leaving my dp with alacaholic violent parents, his dad was in and out of prison. Dp has never forgiven his brother for it, BIL has never done much for his mum as he sees her as a shameful secret.

I think BIL thought that dp would never amount to anything and although we do not have an amazing standard of living we have done well and certainly better than BIL thought.

So the money is an account under BILs sole name and there was no will? Errr do you have a leg to stand on?