This is rhetorical because I know I am not and if anyone says I am I will flounce. But am I being unreasonable when we are totally skint and facing complete financial meltdown to insist that dp gets his inheritance from his brother

[twinsetandpearls]

I have posted on this topic before dp brother has our inheritance which is a very large sum of money in a bank account, it has been there for months and he keeps finding excuses not to hand it over.

We need the money to start our new life, we were carers to dp mother and her partner and so had to live here. His mother knew we wanted to move away and said she hoped we would use the money to start a new life. Expecting the money we put our house on the market, we have new jobs and are ready to go in a few months.

Except his brother still has the money, we have used all our savings up getting things ready to sell, travelling up and down to Dorset as well as my medical bills. We are now down to about thirty pound to last to the end of the month.

Dp has his head buried in the sand, I have just said to him in a very calm manner if you do not get that money of your brother we are in trouble and maybe the fact that we can't afford to eat as of next week will motivate you to get that money. Dp has now walked out slamming all of the doors in the house on the way.

We are supposed to be going to Dorset in a few weeks and paying a deposit on a house so we have an address and can get dd into a school. If we do not have that money we can't get somewhere to live and dd has no school. We will have no momey for removals vans or moving expenses but we have to leave as I have a job there but at the end of August no job here.

Are you absolutely sure that everything - all the debts and credits of the estate have been accounted for?

I am executor of my Dad's estate at the moment, and I know that you cannot dish out the money until you know everything is settled, and I mean EVERYTHING.

If your BIL suspects your MIL may have had debts still requiring settlement, or if there is one more account - even a tiny one - still to be liquidated, he is quite right to hold off paying your share.

Debts requiring settlement at this stage can include solicitor's fees for probate etc.

He may be able to give you some money up front in advance of your inheritance, but he does not have to do so if he doesn't think this is wise.

Remember, your DH and BIL made an agreement about who was going to be the executor (as Seabright mentioned it's more likely that he is the administrator, although they are much the same thing) and your BIL got the job, and it IS a job. It's bloody complicated. I've been tearing my hair out and I'm not daft, I am quite competent at this sort of thing.

You don't mention the timescale (or if you have I have missed it)? Grant of Administration takes about 8 weeks once applied for. It took us about 8 weeks to apply (you have to get a rough idea of the size of the estate before you can even apply). Without a will I would guess it might take even longer. My Dad died in April, I reckon people will be lucky to see any money before October, and those will only be preliminarly payments made in the kindness of my heart - the whole estate is unlikely to be settled before the end of the year, IME.

I don't wish to be unsympathetic to you and he might indeed be a right dodgy bastard . . . but I wanted to put the executor's perspective across in case it shed a different light on things.

There are no debts other than the funerak expenses which came out of the estate.

MIL dies last Septemer or October.

The money was cleared and sorted two months ago. MOst of it eas cleared just after the new year and we were waiting for one or two small amounts.

We are talking tens of thousands for the estate so not lottery anounts but not insignificant sums either.

There was no will so I suspect the correct title is executor.

Do you know for a fact that the solicitor dealing with this knows about your husband and does not think it is just your bil that is inherting her estate? That is assuming that there is a solicitor involved.

I found it very odd that if the solicitor knows that there are two sons involved that he would pay all the money out to only one son and not issue two cheques.

Could your husband maybe go down and talk to the solicitor?

no will probably measn he is an administrator - you name executors in your will (ie you choose them before you die)