This is rhetorical because I know I am not and if anyone says I am I will flounce. But am I being unreasonable when we are totally skint and facing complete financial meltdown to insist that dp gets his inheritance from his brother

[twinsetandpearls]

I have posted on this topic before dp brother has our inheritance which is a very large sum of money in a bank account, it has been there for months and he keeps finding excuses not to hand it over.

We need the money to start our new life, we were carers to dp mother and her partner and so had to live here. His mother knew we wanted to move away and said she hoped we would use the money to start a new life. Expecting the money we put our house on the market, we have new jobs and are ready to go in a few months.

Except his brother still has the money, we have used all our savings up getting things ready to sell, travelling up and down to Dorset as well as my medical bills. We are now down to about thirty pound to last to the end of the month.

Dp has his head buried in the sand, I have just said to him in a very calm manner if you do not get that money of your brother we are in trouble and maybe the fact that we can't afford to eat as of next week will motivate you to get that money. Dp has now walked out slamming all of the doors in the house on the way.

We are supposed to be going to Dorset in a few weeks and paying a deposit on a house so we have an address and can get dd into a school. If we do not have that money we can't get somewhere to live and dd has no school. We will have no momey for removals vans or moving expenses but we have to leave as I have a job there but at the end of August no job here.

Oh in that case he's probably just completely rubbish with any kind of confrontation. This is very difficult for you. Perhaps CAB might still be some help? Could be that if there were people willing to attest that DP's mother's wish was to split her legacy equally then that would have some legal standing perhaps. Not going to be a speedy solution though... Best all round would be for DP to ring his brother and say 'Transfer the money to us by the end of tomorrow please. You know that this is what mum wanted and you mustn't delay any longer. Thank you and goodbye'. for you.

When was the money put into BILs name? Before or after MIL died?

I think dp is hoping we can sort it out ourselves and that if we involve solicitors it is going to drag everything out and we will definetly not have the money when we need it - which is July.

After, I don't quite get what happened and dp was so grief stricken at the time I did not want to ask what seemed very insensitive questions.

BIl said he would sort out the money, dp was glad not to have to do it as he was bearly functioning at the time. BIL closed down the accounts and transferred the money.

I have said that exact same thing to him Cargirl and he said they saw a solicitor together and signed papers to say the money was going to be split. Dp is really vague about it all though and gets very defensive if I ask him about it.

Dp is very rubbish with confrontation, he will walk away as he knows he gets very angry if he stays in the situation

Has dp's brother any concrete motive for holding onto the money?

The daft thing is that his mum only had money to leave because dp bought her house for her!

If it was all done after her death then legally that is fine, it will go to probate and be split 50/50.

What a mess!

does your dp have a copy of these papers he signed?
If not a solicitor isn't going to be any help if there is no evidence

I have to say that I would now be having firm words with your dp, and explaining that he can either do the negotiation amicably himself, or you will ensure the family is taken care of and take legal advice as to your position with the bil.

Sounds fishy though that he isnt pursuing more passionately given your financial situation, does he owe the money to his brother therefore inheritance is gone, as for no will, I would take legal advice if money is not transferred by the end of the week, takes 10 minutes to transfer money, could do it all over the phone, you dont need to go down there.

Good Luck

It was transferred into an account set up specifically for this process which I think is in BILs name.

The brothers only motive for holding onto the money is that he is a bit of a miser and hates to see dp doing well

To echo cargirl, when was money put in bil's name. If it was before yr mil death then its totally different to if it was after.

If her estate was as simple as you suggest just money then there should be no real problem. Even if he is waiting for some accounst to clear down he could still give your dp an advance.

I think its getiing to cruch time. Nobody wants to think that a member of their own family could do the dirty on them and thats what probably making your dp angry, only he is taking it out on you rather than facing up to it.

Perhaps someone one with more legal knowledge wil be along to give you more practical advice.

so does your dp have those papers he signed?

sorry cross posted

It sounds like legally he could get away with not handing over the money, and he is going to give that a bloody good try. There was no will did you say??

Good idea about freezing the account Kerrymum.

Think you have to have strong words with dp... he needs to provide for his dd and ensure she has best start in school... tell him to move his ass!! Or you will investigate via CAB

If there was a reasonable amount of money but no Will then he would have needed to apply for a Grant of Letters of Administration. You could probably get some informal advice about what should have happened from your local Probate Office.

Personally I'd instruct a solictor to send him a letter requiring him pay the money within 14 days.

Actually intestacy (no will) is not a problem.

Any estate is shared equally between the children of the deceased.

Who was appointed executor? Who went for Probate? Was it BIL? (As the money has gone to him)

I think your DP neds to call the solicitor who was involved and get him to write, yes it will cost a few hundred pounds but they shouldn't make you pay until the money has been transferred.

In my case my mother (also an alcoholic) died intestate and knowing what wankers my full and half brothers are I got a solicitor to apply for probate. When it came through he just paid out a third to each of us. (Well actually I got 2K less than each of them due to a clerical error, but they won't pay it back now).

I know from when I had to go through this, sometimes it is easier to pretent it is not happening than to face it. Perhaps you could suggest to DP that as he is so busy you could sort out the solicitor and set the wheels in motion?

BIl was the executor.

so do you have the papers?!!