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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

For not calling DH to congratulate him on Arsenal winning the Premiership?

204 replies

FierceForester90 · 23/05/2026 15:35

Hubby is an Arsenal fan, has been as long as Ive known him but doesn't got to many matches. DS1 supports a local team, has a season ticket and is rather more passionate about his team.

This week I worked away and while I wasn't here Arsenal won the league. They didn't win it as a result of a match they were in they won it as a result of another team losing meaning they couldn't be caught.

Hubby has had a proper moan that all his mates messaged him to say congratulations and I didn't even ring. Im a bit miffed because if there had been an Arsenal game on that determined it id have kept track of the score.

He works as a Driving Instructor and every single time he has a student pass I text or call. I am always supportive of the things he achieves personally.

If he was at the level of supporting DH1 is I'd understand his annoyance. AIBU to think its a bit much?

OP posts:
Bunnyofhope · 23/05/2026 16:27

I think you are all mean spirited. If I knew something good had happened in someones life I'd phone to share their excitement if I remembered.
Id congratulate on a birthday, a pregnancy, someone's grandkids 11+ results, getting a place in the London marathon, someone's cat recovering.
How difficult is it to say 'Wow that's fantastic news, you must be thrilled, I'm so happy for you '
He's meant to be your friend fgs. Someone you want to make extra happy, especially when it would cost you so little!

Uptightmumma · 23/05/2026 16:28

When Liverpool won the league last year I didn’t speak to my husband for 24 hours and was 10
minutes from locking him and my then 8 year old out the house cos I couldn’t be bothered listening to them!! I am an Everton fan 😂😂😂😂

Noshadelamp · 23/05/2026 16:35

His mates sound as utterly pathetic as he is if they really did all message him to congratulate him.

Im a bit miffed because if there had been an Arsenal game on that determined it id have kept track of the score.

He works as a Driving Instructor and every single time he has a student pass I text or call
@FierceForester90

Why would you have kept track of the score, you don't sound like a fan yourself?

How do you know when a student of his passes, I'm guessing he tells you, looking for praise?

Your life shouldn't revolve around his interests and his career, and you shouldn't have to worry about filling a football team just so you can congratulate your DH.
Absolute madness.

Finchfly · 23/05/2026 16:36

Wow does your DH play for Arsenal OP?

🤣🤣🤣

Finchfly · 23/05/2026 16:38

Bunnyofhope · 23/05/2026 16:27

I think you are all mean spirited. If I knew something good had happened in someones life I'd phone to share their excitement if I remembered.
Id congratulate on a birthday, a pregnancy, someone's grandkids 11+ results, getting a place in the London marathon, someone's cat recovering.
How difficult is it to say 'Wow that's fantastic news, you must be thrilled, I'm so happy for you '
He's meant to be your friend fgs. Someone you want to make extra happy, especially when it would cost you so little!

But it's not his achievement!! He doesn't even go and watch them play.

Congratulate him? That's crackers 🤣

latetothefisting · 23/05/2026 16:40

HundredMilesAnHour · 23/05/2026 15:40

He sounds like a drama queen. I can’t believe that every time one of his students passes that you call or text him. WTF? Is he age 5? Does he congratulate you each time you do your job?

Unless he’s an Arsenal player / owner / team manager, why on earth do you have to message him to say congratulations. What was his contribution that he needs congratulating for?

exactly this! Congratulations should be for when you have personally achieved something. Even expecting you to congratulate him for when a student passes is a bit needy and pathetic, tbh - does he do the same every time you send an email in work or whatever the bare essential of your job is?

But expecting you to congratulate him for something he has absolutely no input in, for a team he isn't even that involved with, is just sad. Does he have nothing better going on in his own actual life?

Original poster
FierceForester90 · 23/05/2026 16:41

Thanks all for your responses - I think its settled my point that it's not HIS achievement and so why would I? Hes not laboured the point si ce it eas said but it did make me wonder if I was being iu reasonable by not making a big deal out of it!

OP posts:
Finchfly · 23/05/2026 16:41

Peterdottir · 23/05/2026 15:43

YANBU. I'm so pleased my husband doesn't like football.

God me too. Feeling the need to congratulate someone on a football teams win when the closest they get to it is screaming at the TV? Grounds for divorce!

Krevlornswath · 23/05/2026 16:41

It sounds pathetic OP (him). As he wasn't actually on the team I'm not sure why he would need to be congratulated. He doesn't even sound like a particularly keen fan. Sounds like he is looking for something to give you a hard time about, I wouldn't be indulging, nor would I be apologising or feeling I needed to make anything up to him, it's just utterly ridiculous.

Never in my life have I thought to call or text the many people in my life who I know support a sports team, when I see that the sports team has won.

Swiftie1878 · 23/05/2026 16:44

FierceForester90 · 23/05/2026 16:41

Thanks all for your responses - I think its settled my point that it's not HIS achievement and so why would I? Hes not laboured the point si ce it eas said but it did make me wonder if I was being iu reasonable by not making a big deal out of it!

If he hasn’t laboured the point, you’ve perhaps made a mountain out of a molehill.

Boomer55 · 23/05/2026 16:44

If he’s a real fan, would it have hurt you to call him? 🙄

Rollingaroundisacon · 23/05/2026 16:45

YANBU. At all. DH is a life long Arsenal fan, season ticket holder. I said “that’s nice” and then he spent the next 2 hrs on the phone to his Arsenal mates.
I will “watch” the presentation with him tomorrow (he will watch, I will read my book) but he knows I’m not bothered and he’s fine with that.

amusedbush · 23/05/2026 16:48

Unless your husband is Mikel Arteta, he is being ridiculous.

JFDIYOLO · 23/05/2026 16:49

If he was, I don't know, ACTUALLY PLAYING IN THE MATCH, then absolutely yeah, call him.

shuggles · 23/05/2026 16:50

@FierceForester90 Hubby has had a proper moan that all his mates messaged him to say congratulations and I didn't even ring

Congratulations for what?

You said he's a fan. Did he actually do anything?

SharonBe · 23/05/2026 16:54

Sorry, I'd have laughed at that. What a prat.

GinToBegin · 23/05/2026 16:56

Ugh. This reminds me of DP’s cousin, a Chelsea ‘fan’ who’d never set foot in the ground, let alone pay to go to an actual match.

When Chelsea were buying winning everything, he’d post on SM about how ‘we’ had won some bauble or other. Because obviously at the final whistle, every single one of the Chelsea players was saying ‘Thank fuck for Alan in Bodmin, we’d never have won this thing without him’.

Some football fans are absolutely tedious, and sorry, OP, but your husband seems to be one of them.

LadyGaGasPokerFace · 23/05/2026 16:56

God that’s exhausting. Having praise him every time he’s a good boy.

BunnyLake · 23/05/2026 16:58

Why is he being congratulated on their win? I wouldn't have the patience to indulge this.

TheTecknician · 23/05/2026 16:59

He'll be expecting a ripple of applause the next time he defecates coz he's such a big, clever grown-up boy. He might even point to it.

ThisCandidMintGoose · 23/05/2026 16:59

Zanatdy · 23/05/2026 15:41

If he was a player or manager, fair enough but he is being ridiculous

I came to say this

It's not "a bit much" it's ridiculous to stay polite.

If you support Kate Middleton, do you get a phone call to congratulate you every time she looks good in an official engagement?

ThisCandidMintGoose · 23/05/2026 17:01

TheTecknician · 23/05/2026 16:59

He'll be expecting a ripple of applause the next time he defecates coz he's such a big, clever grown-up boy. He might even point to it.

that would be more deserved, at least he would have been involved in it, and actually DONE something

Blueper · 23/05/2026 17:02

My DP is an Arsenal supporter, I'm not. He messaged me to say they'd won and I called and celebrated with him because it's something he loves and is fun, but he wouldn't expect me to know about it without him telling me!

Bigcat25 · 23/05/2026 17:07

Sounds childish. It's not like he personally was involved in the win so I'm not sure why he expects this.

Nonnim · 23/05/2026 17:11

Yabu, you should send him a special card

To My Dearest Darling Most Super Smashing Husband
I am so incredibly proud of you and your unswerving support for the best football team in the world, [insert team name here]. Thanks to this they have now won [insert name of tournament]!