Putting the word kindly before whatever you are saying, isnt being kind

[elephantjuiceq]

I'm getting a bit sick of MN writing "kindly" and then writing whatever you want. Eg "kindly you are being redicilous".

I find it just allows them to be rude and coming over "kindly".

this is bonkers. Do you honestly not understand that this is a convention to get a message across without sounding confrontational. . It’s a social nicety. Conventions like this are important to everyone getting along.

Maybe I have lived with a German too long but a lot of these social niceties are unnecessary

and a lot of them are new - I don’t remember singing polite reminder a few years back

and ‘polite notice’ is odd because the time of the notice should be polite so you shouldn’t have to be told. Same with kindly, what’s the point of putting it there if what you are going on to say is not kind?

And if you had started your post ‘kindly’ I would still have taken from your tone that you weren’t meaning to be kind at all. So it’s a redundant notion imo

I had a "Kindly, you sound like a terrible parent" once. Thank goodness they were being kind and didn't say what they really thought.

I hate it. I don't like gently either but I have seen that used better, I think people who use it are trying to soften what they say.

Same here.

Gently, @elephantjuiceq , get a feckin' life.

Funny as in 'funny peculiar ' not 'funny ha ha'.

Signs saying 'Polite Notice ...' were around when I was a child in the 60s. They were a trick to make people think it said 'Police Notice '. I saw a horserider's tabard with a similar message recently. Something like 'Polite Notice. Give horses a wide birth' on Hi Viz. Not an unreasonable request but it didn't need the Polite Notice bit.

That’s the only context I ever saw it in before - on a sign outside a school discouraging speeding and in police colours

in that case polite was clearly not what they were aiming at!!

Ah, but as we know, 'funny' can mean 'odd, strange' as well as amusing.

As in 'funny ha ha' as opposed to 'funny peculiar'.

"Thanks", usually.

"Kind regards" is nearly as awful as "kindly", although in a more bland and meaningless rather than patronising and passive aggressive way

Same., It's a tough one to judge overall, I'm sure some people do it in an unkind passive aggressive way, but then there's the odd post on here from time to time that is clearly ridiculous but the OP can't see it due to no fault of their own.

What would you use instead? Open to an alternative! I don’t use it often, but when I do it is meant.

It’s not about an alternative. If you just phrase the answer kindly you won’t have to signal that you’re intending to be kind

You don't need to use anything.
it's like starting with 'I ain't gonna lie' or TBH - it detracts from what you are saying.

No, the point of it is expressing tone. If what you want to say, or feel you need to say, sounds harsh, how do you temper it in text?
Like ‘I’m genuinely not having a go at you here, or judging you, but…’ - that’s a bit of a long winded mouthful.

With the example above

Kindly, you sound like a terrible parent

you could say ‘I’m not sure giving your 6 month old puréed McDonald’s burgers is the healthiest option. Salt intake can be a real issue so etc etc’

Answering with a negative - however kindly - is not very helpful and it’s better to be constructive

and if the person sounds like a genuinely terrible parent then why does it need to be said kindly?

Kindly, which part of You don't need to use anything. don't you understand?

Oh god no, I have found Germans can really speak their mind very bluntly. Not as rude as Russians but some are heading in that direction.

That said I'm not sure putting 'kindly' in front of something horrible is particularly helpful but sometimes people do seem completely oblivious to the fact that their own behaviour is at the root of all their problems.

Yanbu, it’s awful.

as when someone starts “With the greatest of respects …” you know what they are about to say is the opposite of respectful.

I think the Dutch might be the worst but at least you know you’ll get an honest answer and there’s no beating about the bush! We always joke at home that if you ask a German if your bum looks big in something they’ll say ‘yes’ whereas the Dutch friend will say ‘your bum is big so of course it does’ (to not offend - this is obviously a stereotype and not applied to everyone)

I suppose the point is, putting kindly in front of a harsh answer doesn’t temper it at all - it’s window dressing

You word it so that there's no ambiguity.
If you give me an example, I'll reword it for you.

Kindly, your kids are running rings around you. You need to understand that you’re the parent, and step up.

@Swiftie1878 . Your children need you to guide them and provide them with boundaries. They won't like it but they'll thank you when they're older.

Your version reads like
'Kindly, you are a crap parent. Pull your socks up.'

Perfect 👌

I prefer kindly to gently. As in “gently, you are being ridiculous”.