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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to want to move after neighbour noise and threats?

115 replies

User48236 · 23/05/2026 06:46

I’ve had about an hours sleep as I’m still feeling so wired and upset, our lovely forever home has turned into a nightmare after less than a year and I just want to move 😢

Relocated several hours away to where I’m from as all my family plus grown up children are here due to an inheritance we were able to buy a house outright and become mortgage free..my teen dd still lives at home .

it’s a semi detached bungalow on what seemed a quiet estate with wonderful views . The vendor informed us neighbours were lovely both sides and that she had a great relationship with the couple who lived to the left , they walked her dog and generally treated her like family (she was an older lady )

On moving in they seemed initially quite friendly , one husband seemed quieter and we didn’t see him much the other seemed chattier but not falling over himself to be friendly, more just being nosey and wanted to find out a few things., neighbour the other side is rarely there.

Our bungalows are staggered on a slope and each has an integral garage meaning one neighbours garage is quite close to the wall of each house we were rudely woken up one Saturday at nine am by what sounded like hard house music pumping through our walls and the sound of weightlifting weights being slapped back into their holder or dropped on the floor which literally make the house shake .

it transpired that next doors garage was the guy we saw more of’s gym and he was working out , to make matters worse he opens his garage doors so it’s full volume too , we can hear it everywhere on the house and worse if we open the front door as that faces the garage wall of next door (door is at the side of the house )

Its been a regular thing for eight months every other day we have up to an hour a day of this and always first thing Saturday and I noticed that despite having only lived there a couple of years the neighbour on the other side of them has put her house on the market, it could be co-incidental but who knows .

on top of that we’ve now discovered that they like to socialise a lot (they hadn’t owned their house long when we moved In Last autumn and had been still doing it up ) obviously I have no
pfoblem with that it just seems to be very loud 😕
They are regularly in their garden at all hours playing very basey music. Not particularly loud but very basey .. which comes through poor dds bedroom wall and also they are very noisy in general , until late at night .. they are mid forties I’d say but appear to work from home .
they also have two large dogs which are in the garden all the time and bark at their own Shadow

for context we moved from a house with awful noise nuisance and I was looking forward to leaving that behind (rented)

last night I’d had enough . I’d casually mentioned the gym workouts once in conversation previously (once) thinking he might be considerate and instead he’d doubled down straight away saying “I’m not In There long” and has.actually not spoken to us since
last night We headed to bed at 10.30 and just as we are drifting off .. suddenly thump thump thump ! My daughter knocked on my door and said it sounded awful in her bedroom. You could hear several people chatting loudly (ok fair enough everyone’s entitled to use their garden )
but the music was so basey …. We could hear it in our room too .
as it got to 11 we decided it might be an idea to politely let them know it was audible In our house so we popped round . Once near the back garden you could hear it was loud .. The usual guy came to the door and I asked if they were having a party . He said no quite defensively.. So we explained the base was a little loud and asked him to maybe turn it down a bit . He went beserk , effing and jeffing and said “sorry you saddos don’t want to live but normal people like to sit in their gardens and listen to music , you’ve already complained about my music once “
we didn’t want a confrontation and explained it was just the music was a bit too loud and could they be considerate .. nope . He had no intention of it . “Fuck off and get a life” was the response , then told me if we came round again he’d set “the dogs on us “ As we walked away I heard him say “stupid bitch, I’m not fucking having that “

when we got home I just cried my eyes out as I realised we can’t stay here , because now I can probably expect them to be worse. I love this house, we poured so much money into doing it up as it needed modernising and dd is in the middle of her GCSE’s but I suddenly feel like I want to just pack up and leave . Am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
JLou08 · 23/05/2026 13:15

His reaction last night was inexcusable. You were unreasonable to complain about him listening to music and working out for an hour every other day at reasonable times. It sounds like you damaged the relationship then.

fundamentallyauthentic · 23/05/2026 13:33

They are regularly in their garden at all hours playing very basey music. Not particularly loud but very basey .. which comes through poor dds bedroom wall and also they are very noisy in general , until late at night .. they are mid forties I’d say but appear to work from home .
they also have two large dogs which are in the garden all the time and bark at their own Shadow

This is what OP and her family have to endure. It’s not just about the music for an hour every Saturday morning.

Sunny54321 · 23/05/2026 13:40

Be careful about making an official complaint to anyone as, these days, you have to declare any neighbour disputes if you sell a property and that can, understandably be very off-putting to buyers.

PlutarchHeavensbee · 23/05/2026 13:47

IfIHadAHeart · 23/05/2026 13:07

I agree with this to be honest. Unfortunately neighbourly relations are likely ruined, so I probably would move. He sounds deeply unpleasant, but I really don’t think the noise levels are nuisance neighbour territory.

Really?? Where do you draw the line on noise nuisance? I have nothing against people having a party, playing music at reasonable levels at reasonable hours but until you’ve lived next door to people who think it’s fine to blast music at levels that make your floors vibrate, where there’s nowhere you can go in your home to escape it - or when you’re lying in bed at three in the morning, knowing you’ve got to get up in another three hours and do a full days work, you’ve seriously got no idea how that feels.

MissMoneyFairy · 23/05/2026 13:47

User48236 · 23/05/2026 07:07

@lastdecember that sounds rubbish I’m so sorry 😔
we are detached , we thought we we’d get peace and quiet after eight years of neighbours Loud music and late night parties coming through our walls

Are you semi or detached, I'd wait a few days, see if it's quietens down a bit, it's awful living next to noise but it's their garden to enjoy, maybe speak to them, explain how it's affecting you and say you understand but any chance he could use headphones or close the door in the gym.

Vaxtable · 23/05/2026 13:58

I would report via 101 for the threat

i would report to the noise abatement team at the council

Northernladdette · 23/05/2026 14:45

Are they upsetting other neighbours too?

WhatNextISay · 23/05/2026 14:59

I'm so sorry you have these hideous cretins in your life OP. I cannot tell you how much I hate these horrible, horrible bastards. Zero consideration or respect for anyone, you have to wonder who raised them. I wish they'd all disappear onto an island in the middle of nowhere. For the rest of eternity. Cunts the lot of them.

daffodilandtulip · 23/05/2026 15:15

I’m sick of “everyone is entitled to use their gardens”, used to mean that people think they can play music, use power tools, scream and screech and generally submit everyone to hell. The quiet ones who are “entitled to use their gardens” don’t seem to have a leg to stand on.

Juliadiesalone · 23/05/2026 15:25

daffodilandtulip · 23/05/2026 15:15

I’m sick of “everyone is entitled to use their gardens”, used to mean that people think they can play music, use power tools, scream and screech and generally submit everyone to hell. The quiet ones who are “entitled to use their gardens” don’t seem to have a leg to stand on.

People aren’t allowed to use power tools or listen to music? Sheesh.

daffodilandtulip · 23/05/2026 15:26

Juliadiesalone · 23/05/2026 15:25

People aren’t allowed to use power tools or listen to music? Sheesh.

You know exactly what I mean.

Minnie798 · 23/05/2026 15:33

Juliadiesalone · 23/05/2026 12:53

I don’t think some music at 9am for an hour once a week and some people in their garden on a rare sunny bank holiday constitutes a nuisance neighbour.

He sounds an absolute arsehole for talking to you like that but if you want silence then you need to move somewhere remote and detached.

I have to agree with this. If it was all day every day, that's a major issue. But an hour on a Saturday morning at 0900am and a garden 'party' whenever we have the weather for it ( so not often) isn't something that would bother me. People are different of course, so op should move if she's unhappy. But there's always a risk when you have neighbours, so maybe something a bit more remote. The neighbours attitude/ verbal abuse was horrible.

Itsnouse · 23/05/2026 15:43

Juliadiesalone · 23/05/2026 15:25

People aren’t allowed to use power tools or listen to music? Sheesh.

Honest answer- no you are not entitled to listen to your music outside because your neighbors will hear it too. You can a) play your music indoors or b) wear headphones. Hope that helps.

Juliadiesalone · 23/05/2026 15:46

Itsnouse · 23/05/2026 15:43

Honest answer- no you are not entitled to listen to your music outside because your neighbors will hear it too. You can a) play your music indoors or b) wear headphones. Hope that helps.

Well I mean…you actually are entitled to do it. Like literally, legally entitled to do it. Hope that helps!

User48236 · 23/05/2026 15:48

Juliadiesalone · 23/05/2026 12:53

I don’t think some music at 9am for an hour once a week and some people in their garden on a rare sunny bank holiday constitutes a nuisance neighbour.

He sounds an absolute arsehole for talking to you like that but if you want silence then you need to move somewhere remote and detached.

Hi it’s every other day and it’s loud thumping music and the sound of heavy weights dropping on the floor . It’s also been fairly regular the garden music and at nearly 21 when it isn’t a party or special occasion .
It is actually a quiet rural area and it is detached which shows how loud it is .
we’ve since spoken to the woman the other side and she said she is moving because they aren’t very considerate .

OP posts:
User48236 · 23/05/2026 15:51

Minnie798 · 23/05/2026 15:33

I have to agree with this. If it was all day every day, that's a major issue. But an hour on a Saturday morning at 0900am and a garden 'party' whenever we have the weather for it ( so not often) isn't something that would bother me. People are different of course, so op should move if she's unhappy. But there's always a risk when you have neighbours, so maybe something a bit more remote. The neighbours attitude/ verbal abuse was horrible.

RTT .. it’s not just a Saturday . It’s pretty much every day of the week and it’s full on bass that’s shakes the walls and includes weights being drops on the floor .. it’s also not a one off party .. ..
I don’t live in silence but is it really acceptable to work out with your garage doors open drowning out the neighbour hood..that’s just being a twat

OP posts:
jdb9803 · 23/05/2026 15:52

Northernladdette · 23/05/2026 14:45

Are they upsetting other neighbours too?

The neighbour on the other side has her house on the market

User48236 · 23/05/2026 15:55

PlutarchHeavensbee · 23/05/2026 13:47

Really?? Where do you draw the line on noise nuisance? I have nothing against people having a party, playing music at reasonable levels at reasonable hours but until you’ve lived next door to people who think it’s fine to blast music at levels that make your floors vibrate, where there’s nowhere you can go in your home to escape it - or when you’re lying in bed at three in the morning, knowing you’ve got to get up in another three hours and do a full days work, you’ve seriously got no idea how that feels.

Thank you - it’s pretty much most days of the week on the gym noise and the it’s not just a once in a blue moon garden party ..
I wouldn’t dream of sitting on my patio at nearly 11 pm at night playing base thumping music . Because I’m a decent hums. Being .

OP posts:
User48236 · 23/05/2026 15:57

For clarity I’ve spoken to the other neighbour on the other side who is selling up .. she said she’s never got on with them and finds them unpleasant .. she was vague for obvious reasons

OP posts:
Itsnouse · 23/05/2026 16:00

Juliadiesalone · 23/05/2026 15:46

Well I mean…you actually are entitled to do it. Like literally, legally entitled to do it. Hope that helps!

It makes you entitled, I will give you that. But why would you want to make other people suffer?

Delatron · 23/05/2026 16:00

Juliadiesalone · 23/05/2026 12:53

I don’t think some music at 9am for an hour once a week and some people in their garden on a rare sunny bank holiday constitutes a nuisance neighbour.

He sounds an absolute arsehole for talking to you like that but if you want silence then you need to move somewhere remote and detached.

I’m really sorry OP - especially for everything you have been going through. But I agree with the above.

He sounds awful and annoying but you’ve led with the hour of music whilst he’s in the gym at 9 as the biggest issue. That’s unfortunately not a time when anyone has to be quiet. In our road we could have roadworks, building works etc from 7.30am. Sorry.

And I’m reading you went to complain about noise at 11pm? I would find it mildly annoying as I like to go the bed early but the odd party I think is to be expected.

It just sounds like you need a more peaceful and detached house away from other people.

We live on a busy street and we all just have to be tolerant and expect there will be noise from time to time. You can build up a good relationship with your neighbours then it works both ways. Right now I’m sat in my garden and I can hear some banging to one side and lots of chatting and kids playing to the other side. It’s fine.

Juliadiesalone · 23/05/2026 16:02

Itsnouse · 23/05/2026 16:00

It makes you entitled, I will give you that. But why would you want to make other people suffer?

I mean I do neither of the two things - using power tools or listening to music in the garden. But I live in London and other people do. Doesn’t bother me if during the day time

Tuxedomaddness · 23/05/2026 16:04

Itsnouse · 23/05/2026 16:00

It makes you entitled, I will give you that. But why would you want to make other people suffer?

Enjoying music in your garden is not entitled. Its not like it's all the time. We are shut indoors for 9 months of the year. Using and enjoying your garden is not a crime!

Delatron · 23/05/2026 16:07

I think it depends what you are used to. I lived by Waterloo train station once - the trains went past by bedroom. It was quite soothing.

Yes he’s a bit annoying but you can’t complain about music and weights being dropped at 9am.

There’s not been many days this year it’s been warm enough to sit outside? How many parties are we talking about?

User48236 · 23/05/2026 16:14

Delatron · 23/05/2026 16:00

I’m really sorry OP - especially for everything you have been going through. But I agree with the above.

He sounds awful and annoying but you’ve led with the hour of music whilst he’s in the gym at 9 as the biggest issue. That’s unfortunately not a time when anyone has to be quiet. In our road we could have roadworks, building works etc from 7.30am. Sorry.

And I’m reading you went to complain about noise at 11pm? I would find it mildly annoying as I like to go the bed early but the odd party I think is to be expected.

It just sounds like you need a more peaceful and detached house away from other people.

We live on a busy street and we all just have to be tolerant and expect there will be noise from time to time. You can build up a good relationship with your neighbours then it works both ways. Right now I’m sat in my garden and I can hear some banging to one side and lots of chatting and kids playing to the other side. It’s fine.

Edited

I don’t think people are reading my op properly ..
it’s almost every day ! Literally 4 times a week but always on Saturdays as well

OP posts: