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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to want to move after neighbour noise and threats?

115 replies

User48236 · Yesterday 06:46

I’ve had about an hours sleep as I’m still feeling so wired and upset, our lovely forever home has turned into a nightmare after less than a year and I just want to move 😢

Relocated several hours away to where I’m from as all my family plus grown up children are here due to an inheritance we were able to buy a house outright and become mortgage free..my teen dd still lives at home .

it’s a semi detached bungalow on what seemed a quiet estate with wonderful views . The vendor informed us neighbours were lovely both sides and that she had a great relationship with the couple who lived to the left , they walked her dog and generally treated her like family (she was an older lady )

On moving in they seemed initially quite friendly , one husband seemed quieter and we didn’t see him much the other seemed chattier but not falling over himself to be friendly, more just being nosey and wanted to find out a few things., neighbour the other side is rarely there.

Our bungalows are staggered on a slope and each has an integral garage meaning one neighbours garage is quite close to the wall of each house we were rudely woken up one Saturday at nine am by what sounded like hard house music pumping through our walls and the sound of weightlifting weights being slapped back into their holder or dropped on the floor which literally make the house shake .

it transpired that next doors garage was the guy we saw more of’s gym and he was working out , to make matters worse he opens his garage doors so it’s full volume too , we can hear it everywhere on the house and worse if we open the front door as that faces the garage wall of next door (door is at the side of the house )

Its been a regular thing for eight months every other day we have up to an hour a day of this and always first thing Saturday and I noticed that despite having only lived there a couple of years the neighbour on the other side of them has put her house on the market, it could be co-incidental but who knows .

on top of that we’ve now discovered that they like to socialise a lot (they hadn’t owned their house long when we moved In Last autumn and had been still doing it up ) obviously I have no
pfoblem with that it just seems to be very loud 😕
They are regularly in their garden at all hours playing very basey music. Not particularly loud but very basey .. which comes through poor dds bedroom wall and also they are very noisy in general , until late at night .. they are mid forties I’d say but appear to work from home .
they also have two large dogs which are in the garden all the time and bark at their own Shadow

for context we moved from a house with awful noise nuisance and I was looking forward to leaving that behind (rented)

last night I’d had enough . I’d casually mentioned the gym workouts once in conversation previously (once) thinking he might be considerate and instead he’d doubled down straight away saying “I’m not In There long” and has.actually not spoken to us since
last night We headed to bed at 10.30 and just as we are drifting off .. suddenly thump thump thump ! My daughter knocked on my door and said it sounded awful in her bedroom. You could hear several people chatting loudly (ok fair enough everyone’s entitled to use their garden )
but the music was so basey …. We could hear it in our room too .
as it got to 11 we decided it might be an idea to politely let them know it was audible In our house so we popped round . Once near the back garden you could hear it was loud .. The usual guy came to the door and I asked if they were having a party . He said no quite defensively.. So we explained the base was a little loud and asked him to maybe turn it down a bit . He went beserk , effing and jeffing and said “sorry you saddos don’t want to live but normal people like to sit in their gardens and listen to music , you’ve already complained about my music once “
we didn’t want a confrontation and explained it was just the music was a bit too loud and could they be considerate .. nope . He had no intention of it . “Fuck off and get a life” was the response , then told me if we came round again he’d set “the dogs on us “ As we walked away I heard him say “stupid bitch, I’m not fucking having that “

when we got home I just cried my eyes out as I realised we can’t stay here , because now I can probably expect them to be worse. I love this house, we poured so much money into doing it up as it needed modernising and dd is in the middle of her GCSE’s but I suddenly feel like I want to just pack up and leave . Am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
LlynTegid · Yesterday 06:49

Threatening behaviour given his comment, consider whether or not to involve the police. Sorry to read what you are going through.

OriginalSkang · Yesterday 06:51

I would just move

User48236 · Yesterday 06:53

LlynTegid · Yesterday 06:49

Threatening behaviour given his comment, consider whether or not to involve the police. Sorry to read what you are going through.

I will be honest - I think it was a slightly empty threat as the dogs are lab crosses and appear soft as butter but obviously I don’t actually know that

OP posts:
User48236 · Yesterday 06:56

OriginalSkang · Yesterday 06:51

I would just move

I was looking forward to our first proper summer in this house too ..the market isn’t good right now .. Houses round here usually get snapped up quickly but the other house isn’t selling and she’s had it on the market for months now . The thought of trying to sell while he’s doing his garage workouts too

OP posts:
user1476613140 · Yesterday 06:56

I would gladly take 9am wake up over my NDNs waking us up and disturbing our sleep between 11pm and 2am at weekends!

LateDecember · Yesterday 06:58

I will never understand why people think that we have to be subjected to their shitty music in their gardens. I absolutely loathe summertime for this reason.

I have to hear every idiotic rap song or country song for hours upon hours because the sun never sets. Bouncing balls, too. It is a nightmare and I'm sorry for you OP.

We bought a detached house for these kinds of things but even that didn't stop all of the noise because the neighbours use their garage as a gym and it's connected to the side of our home. They also play music in their garden and in the house with all windows open. They have parties, burn rubbish, kick balls against our garden wall for hours, play basketball in the drive and run their car in the drive and talk on speaker phone so we can hear the conversation.

Their drive runs alongside our home so, if our windows are open in the front, we get hours upon hours of exhaust fumes pouring through our house while they chat away to whomever.

I have had to resort to closing all windows and wearing noise cancelling headphones in my own home.

No answers for you apart from moving to a detached home and making sure it's not on a new build estate or you'll get similar issues.

luckylavender · Yesterday 07:01

user1476613140 · Yesterday 06:56

I would gladly take 9am wake up over my NDNs waking us up and disturbing our sleep between 11pm and 2am at weekends!

Not terribly helpful

Hopefulsalmon · Yesterday 07:02

I'd move. I wouldn't involve the police as I think dusputes have to be declared when selling.

user1476613140 · Yesterday 07:03

luckylavender · Yesterday 07:01

Not terribly helpful

I am putting it in perspective though. Others get a good night's sleep disturbed. Most are awake 9am most days. Really frightening getting verbally abused, I understand that but really it's been a bad encounter.
OP contact your local authority to ask for support.

User48236 · Yesterday 07:04

user1476613140 · Yesterday 06:56

I would gladly take 9am wake up over my NDNs waking us up and disturbing our sleep between 11pm and 2am at weekends!

We had pretty much just tolerated that but the late night noise is not fun 🫤

OP posts:
User48236 · Yesterday 07:05

user1476613140 · Yesterday 07:03

I am putting it in perspective though. Others get a good night's sleep disturbed. Most are awake 9am most days. Really frightening getting verbally abused, I understand that but really it's been a bad encounter.
OP contact your local authority to ask for support.

It’s rare I’m still
asleep at 9 am on a Saturday , it was the first time I decided to have a lie in, we ate up the rest of the time but who wants pounding shaking walks at nine am 😕

OP posts:
User48236 · Yesterday 07:07

@lastdecember that sounds rubbish I’m so sorry 😔
we are detached , we thought we we’d get peace and quiet after eight years of neighbours Loud music and late night parties coming through our walls

OP posts:
OvernightBloats · Yesterday 07:07

Now you've got a measure of what this neighbour is like, you have to decide whether you can live next to this indefinitely. He is not going to change his behaviour one inch for you. It may even get worse after your complaint.

The gym workout music is annoying but it is at 9 which isn't too early. The garden party music could be much worse.

Will this ruin your enjoyment of living there? If yes, move out.

User48236 · Yesterday 07:10

OvernightBloats · Yesterday 07:07

Now you've got a measure of what this neighbour is like, you have to decide whether you can live next to this indefinitely. He is not going to change his behaviour one inch for you. It may even get worse after your complaint.

The gym workout music is annoying but it is at 9 which isn't too early. The garden party music could be much worse.

Will this ruin your enjoyment of living there? If yes, move out.

This is what we are scared of .. we’ve spent eight years being unable to use our garden due to our neighbours and now the first summer here I just don’t think we’ll be able to enjoy the garden 😔
Im fully expecting the parties to ramp up , because I’m pretty sure hs done that with his workouts , I don’t know what his husband thinks as I rarely see him

OP posts:
Seymour5 · Yesterday 07:13

Noisy neighbours are a nightmare. I feel for you OP, being threatened is scary. I might speak informally to the local police? A suggestion might be to keep a diary of the anti social behaviour, and contact your local authority environmental health team. Or bite the bullet and move. Then hope whoever buys it is even noisier!

Getupat8amnow · Yesterday 07:14

OP, I am sorry you are in this situation. Until you have a neighbour who plays loud base music like yours does it is impossible to understand how invasive it is. Both the continuing truly awful noise and vibration and also when the music is off the anxiety of waiting for it to come on again.

We actually moved house to get away from similar to what you are currently experiencing. I never relaxed properly in our old house and I wore ear plugs most of the time. The neighbours were awful with a mix of base music, power tools, garden fires in an old oil drum, late night talking in the garden at the tops of their voices and constant barbecues throughout summer. It was relentless and they used to swear if we asked them to turn the base down.

We are very easy going people and they just didnt care at all. They used the garden as their living space from May to September and caused so much noise pollution to those near them. It had to be heard to be believed how much noise they made. Visitors to our house always commented to us about how awful it was and how they wouldn't be able to stand it. The authorities didnt help at all, just the usual keep a noise diary etc but nothing was done

We moved and our new direct neighbour is lovely and very quiet, I feel relaxed here in our current house. I had to drive by our old house last week and could hear the base coming from our old neighbour's house and I felt so grateful to be away from it.

Move house OP, your neighbours aren't going anywhere. You have no choice but to move if you want some peace.

NoArmaniNoPunani · Yesterday 07:17

Do something noisy this morning to disturb his hangover.

Somethingbland · Yesterday 07:19

This is just awful for you OP.

I've moved house a few times and my experience has been that the house i've bought has been on the market because of an issue with the next door neighbour which the seller has kept very quiet about. It looks like this is what has happened here.

The selfishness of some people is just disgraceful.

I honestly think moving is the best option. Because involving the police and going down the route of neighbour disputes is unpleasant, long running, and ultimately doesnt have a satisfactory ending.

user1476613140 · Yesterday 07:24

User48236 · Yesterday 07:05

It’s rare I’m still
asleep at 9 am on a Saturday , it was the first time I decided to have a lie in, we ate up the rest of the time but who wants pounding shaking walks at nine am 😕

I appreciate that too. Hopefully your situation improves and it is a one off. Keep strong 💪 ❤️

Trumptontown · Yesterday 07:38

OP, I feel for you. Reading your post made me feel sick. I’ve had noisy inconsiderate neighbours and it’s horrendous. I’m oversensitive to any noise but they were awful by anyone’s standards and it made me suicidal. Luckily they moved out, but hearing any noise, whether it be music, arguments or banging still sets me on edge.

User48236 · Yesterday 07:45

@Getupat8amnow I totally sympathise as it’s been pretty much like that at our old house, the only difference was the neighbours were nice! They would do anything for you apart from keep the racket down and a lot of the time it was their teens when they weren’t in .. Bit I’m recovering from cancer .. my nervous system is in overdrive and I have long term effects from my chemo , this house is in a beautiful position either outstanding views and was supposed to be a fresh start after cancer 😕

OP posts:
User48236 · Yesterday 07:47

@Trumptontown Yes I’m on edge now wondering what payback will occur as a result of last night .. I was so polite when I went round , also they know I was still having chemo when we moved in so they know I’ve been ill .. 😔

OP posts:
User48236 · Yesterday 07:48

@Somethingbland I absolutely think she moved because they got on her nerves but she clearly didn’t want a confrontation so had just stayed friendly with them, in their eyes. They have been getting away with being noisy for three years with no complaints

OP posts:
Elboob · Yesterday 08:05

How utterly awful.
You really do have to move don't you. I am so sorry 😞

Not2identifying · Yesterday 08:16

I'm really, really sorry you're in this situation. I don't have advice but am sending huge amounts of sympathy over the internet. I really hope you find the peace you need.