To think telling a child to "cover up" because of male teachers is ewwww?

[FreeeeeeeeFreeFalling]

DD and her mates were wearing fairly standard vest tops at school for an own clothes day. All dressed exactly the same. DD singled out and told to cover up (I suspect because she is slightly larger chested than the others), which she found humiliating. She was told "there are male teachers around" as the reason!
They are 16.
I kind of think if male teachers can't keep their eyes to themselves, they shouldn't be teachers, right?!

AIBU to think this is a bit off?

OK. This was not an issue in the 80s or 90s.
It was about then that people started losing respect for schoolteachers.

• I'd feel like this too. Super revealing clothes are not empowering but embarrassing*

Agree. Makes you wonder how they've been dragged up,

Id personally argue that if it would be suitable for an office/workplace then its appropriate for school. If it wouldn't be deemed appropriate for work then its not appropriate for school

Actually vest tops are the choice of people not used to heat. In hot countries they cover up in light layers which stops sun burning and overheating the skin.

I'm not saying I see anything wrong with strappy tops or bare shoulders but some strappy tops are cut super low at the front, tight round the torso and short at the waist and made from very thin stretch fabric so that nothing whatsoever is left to the imagination. When you put all that together it just looks desperate to be displaying which school is not the place for.

Yes there are clothes that are inappropriate for school. You should be teaching your child about boundaries and responsibility not letting her think that anything goes just because of what she wants. The world does not revolve around her and if you don’t teach her how to cope in the real world who else is going to do it.

Adults are in the workplace not children.

Anyone saying "there are male teachers around" needs to have training!

Focus should be on looking appropriate for a professional environment even on dress down days. When teachers do PJ days we often have to buy appropriate loose fitting ones!

I don't like seeing the underwear of any of my students irrespective of gender. I also don't want to see butt cracks or excessive cleavage. It's what you'd expect from both pupils and staff.

I once had some students tease me that my dress was too short as it wasn't an inch above the knee. Everyone needs to just keep their privates private. It's not about being sexually exciting, it's just grim.

Just because its common , doesn't mean it's okay, everyone needs to be respectful to one another, to me it's really cheap looking and I don't know why girls have to hoist up their skirts so high ?

Or unless you think it's appropriate for school girls to rock up to school displaying their breasts with skirts hardly covering their buttocks. Anyone who would do the same if still at school & are of the opinion girls should feel free to wear what they want to school on non uniform day must have no sense of self respect.

Yep I agree

The issue here is 2 things
1 - no dress code re appropriateness for own clothes day. Children need to be taught about professional and appropriate attire or they will end up going in to work with inappropriate clothing. So school sets the standards and should enforce it.
2 - the wording was slightly wrong - 'cover up' should apply to all pupils showing inappropriate amounts of skin due to it being a classroom learning environment not a nightclub or swimming pool. ' Due to male teachers' is not the reason why they should cover up. They should cover up as its not appropriate full stop, for all teachers not just male.

“I suspect because she is slightly larger chested….”

how about asking the school ?

'self respect', in relation to this, absolutely reveals your misogyny.

Maybe the 'self-respect' question is a personal one for them; but it's a simple case of respect for others not to expose your private body parts in public and force them to deal with it. This is a very basic part of a widely-understood way to behave in society.

It's been said many times on this thread, but absolutely nobody would be calling it man-hating if a man or teenage boy went around in public in an equivalent state of displaying his body and people called him out on it. In fact, he would be called the pervert... so make of that what you will.

Not as ‘telling’ as you wanting children to ‘feel sexual’.

I agree with you, ewwww. Very inappropriate reason to give.

So many people read "women" as children, it's very worrying.

I was talking about women and the social conditioning they receive to be sexual, and the fact that they can if they want to be, it's a valid choice. As evidenced by the use of the word women.

But you infer whatever your little brain wants.

It's just very weird and unrelated, as this thread isn't about women, it's about teenage girls.

That’s because of the overlaying structural context – we don’t live in a world were boys appearance is both their value and a stick to beat them with. Equity is not the same as equality.

that’s why it’s almost never The mic drop you think it is to say if the tables were turned …

My comment on your post was because your post was replying to someone who was posting about sexualisation of girls. Which is why I commented. Girls are children. And my brain is likely the same size as yours.
Heres the comment you replied to.
I'm frustrated by feminists tying themselves in knots to claim that a young girl dressed in highly sexualised and objectifying clothing is just 'expressing herself' and 'exploring', when in fact it's quite clear that she's learning her place in society; as a sexual object, there to be physically desired, instead of a person to be valued for her mind and her personality

I'm done now. There was context in the conversation being had.

People taking things out of context to berate someone is not a debate. It's just sad.

It was a reply to someone talking about how they hear women talking about how they want something to make it seem like they aren't socialised. They've since edited it to make it look like that's what I've said.

But I guess it's easier to flip things around than understand context.

Out now.

I am no prude but I agree that young girls in a school environment should dress appropriately! Outside of school it's up to them but in school there should be standards! I dont even agree with young girls rolling up their skirts so that when they even lean forward you can see their knickers! They also wear the over the knee socks so they look like stocking with their super short skirts, it just looks trashy and provocative! I think the next time they have non uniform they should send a letter with what is acceptable clothing attire. If it were me, I'd put every school child in pants aswell, ban the super short skirts that look like a belt, it would avoid all the problems of telling young girls to un roll their skirts just for them to roll them back up 5 minutes later!

Maybe if I post the whole post they wrote that you commented on you will see why I, and others, assumed you were referencing girls, not women,
Their post wasn’t edited at any point.

I don't think you have any idea what I think of women.
As someone who has seen the worst of men, I am not a defender of them. But I do reject appealing to the male gaze, and I despise patriarchal norms that sexualise girls and encourage them to sexualise themselves, while trying to cloak it in 'empowerment'.
I'm frustrated by feminists tying themselves in knots to claim that a young girl dressed in highly sexualised and objectifying clothing is just 'expressing herself' and 'exploring', when in fact it's quite clear that she's learning her place in society; as a sexual object, there to be physically desired, instead of a person to be valued for her mind and her personality

I think it's more sad that you imply that someone who is sick of the sexualisation of girls in society, and of the internal misogyny and self-sexualisation of advertising one's body in a sexualised way – which boys/men don't feel they need to do – must dislike women.

Because apparently teenage girls showing off their breasts and bums is feminist these days? I guess it's the same feminism that says strangling women during sex is empowering, and that men can be women. AKA, feminism of the dick pandering variety.

Also, saying people must have little brains is a bit sad too. It's bad faith on your part.