To think telling a child to "cover up" because of male teachers is ewwww?

[FreeeeeeeeFreeFalling]

DD and her mates were wearing fairly standard vest tops at school for an own clothes day. All dressed exactly the same. DD singled out and told to cover up (I suspect because she is slightly larger chested than the others), which she found humiliating. She was told "there are male teachers around" as the reason!
They are 16.
I kind of think if male teachers can't keep their eyes to themselves, they shouldn't be teachers, right?!

AIBU to think this is a bit off?

Men aren't attracted to 'young children' unless they're perverts.

16yos is another matter..it's wrong for a man to date 16yos but contrary to what some MNers seem to think, men mentally finding 16yos attractive are not paedophiles or hebephiles.

What??? What country is this? I doubt this would be generally accepted in any Euro country.

I wonder how many thought "She put that outfit together nicely."😂

Even at that age I sensed boys weren't too bothered by clothes.

I think it really depends. I was always told to pull my skirt down or fasten my buttons. I think it's just to make everyone look 'tidy' at school. Like church. But I was never told it was because there is male teachers. Maybe her boobs were falling out as she was sitting down? I suppose anyone teaching could see them as they were standing and looking down🤷. I had this problem when I was bigger, especially after having my children. Vests were a no go. Still the teacher could have pulled her aside and mentioned this in a kinder way.

They seemed to appreciate it. It was school uniform so put together like everyone else, some of us just had shorter skirts although at the local schools now our skirts would be considered long. I mean you couldn't see our knickers.

We don’t have uniforms, apart from in private or semi private schools in Spain. Kids and teens can wear what they like. In June the temperature is high, no AC and people are wearing tiny shorts, crop tops etc. Not an issue here. Vest tops are standard and wouldn’t be considered risqué or inappropriate at all.

Anyone justifying girls being asked to cover up need their hard drives checked

Don't be ridiculous. Parents of teenage girls do it all the time. For a reason.

People who need their hard drives checked are those who love seeing young girls not covering up.

Otoh : I also think there's no reason women shouldn't be able to be topless at the beach. Men's pecs are likewise a secondary sexual characteristic, doesn't mean they can't go topless there

Giving a bit away here. But I went to a naturist beach with my now dh when we were in the first flush of love. As we were naked on the beach he still got an erection although he really didn't want one. From seeing not just me but all the nubile females. It embarrassed him. He did not want it to happen. He rolled on his stomach till it went away.

Totally involuntary. Some of the male teachers have to contend with that.
It's not that they * can't control themselves" because of course, they do.
It's all just so unnecessary. Don't go dressed sexy at school. Everybody knows it's not just skin. It's an innate, base, sexual signal.

I'm an absolutely feminist woman yet I understand that.

There’s so much to unpack here. Was she wearing an identical top to other girls who weren’t chastised? Or is she showing off more because she has ample bosom? I think it’s odd (and inappropriate) to bring male teachers into it, but depending on what she was wearing and the clothes of others, it does sound like a ‘vest top’ was arguably not appropriate attire for school.

There’s so much to unpack here. Was she wearing an identical top to other girls who weren’t chastised? Or is she showing off more because she has ample bosom? I think it’s odd (and inappropriate) to bring male teachers into it, but depending on what she was wearing and the clothes of others, it does sound like a ‘vest top’ was arguably not appropriate attire for school

That was a bit like me as my youth. I could wear the same top as my same age friend - and on me it was just an article of clothing. On her it was dynamite to men. I was flat as a pancake and she had huge bazookas therefore she was was way more popular. That's fine in social situations, but at school it's inappropriate.

Completely ridiculous.
People should be free to wear what they like.
To start censoring is the way of madness.

Worse than this, my DD, when she was 10, was told that she couldn't wear a tankini for swimming at school in case it rode up and showed a bit of belly. 10. The tankini was all I could find at ridiculously short notice from the school.

I agreed with my daughter that in an ideal world she should be able to walk naked at midnight down the streets of our town and be safe. That was her vision of society.

But we don't live in an ideal world. So she could be a victim of someone who doesn't share that ideology. It's so hard when you have teens who think they know more than you and better than you.

You can just warn them 😐

Yes I agree with this but also to teach girls who are growing into young women that less is more ..
I only mentioned the other day how the girls are rolling their school skirts up too short we all did that though ..
Teachers are in authority so nothing inappropriate should be crossing their minds I would hope.. if was my daughter or grandaughter I wouldn't be happy her showing ample bust in school no way and neither would her dad..

Nothing wrong with a vest top on a hot day. There’s so much wrong with what happened it’s untrue. Especially as OP’s DD was singled out because of her build. Male teachers can control themselves. If they can’t, they should not work in education. Shaming girls for clothing or body types is abhorrent.

I always remember a teacher in my junior school im 51 so long time ago ... she would wear low cut swirly dresses .. and the boys who where nearing end of junior school couldn't concentrate on lessons I remember one boy saying he fancied the teacher we would of been around 10 ... she must of been 28 to 30 that's not good in school with a 10yr old so appropriate dresses easy to find .. for those of us who have hips and busts we can find clothes thst fit nice but thst are not sexy for school work whatever .

Totally agree. And a vest top on a hot day is sensible.

This.

I'm hesitating to say this, but I think very young girls are being encouraged to flaunt their sexuality (real or imagined) in a way that was unimaginable when I was a child/teenager. There was no way on God's green earth that secondary school was a place to flaunt your wares. It wasn't anything anybody said.
It was just innate amongst girls not to flaunt themselves.

School dress and out of school dress was very different.

Surely, somebody amongst MN must acknowledge that there are some 15 year girls who could dress more appropriately for the task in hand. They can dress how they like in their free time.

Can I assume that all those who hold this view, wear what you like, don't lock their doors because robbing is wrong so it's the fault of the burglar, the householder should not have to take steps to protect themselves.

I'd feel like this too. Super revealing clothes are not empowering but embarrassing.

This is vimmon sense. There's really no need to be showing loads of flesh.

I agree on appropriate school wear. We were told this at school. My brother was pulled for advertising a certain drink on his gym T-shirt.
They’re kids let them wear a short sleeve T-shirt. Sometimes our eyes are drawn to big boobs unintentionally.
Wouldn’t allow my daughter to wear inappropriate clothing to school. Reduce risks where possible.

I work in a secondary and we have a staff no cleavage,no bare legged,no non sleeve dress code so id expect a non uniform day for pupils to be similar imo.

I agree with what you are saying. I work in schools. I’m not education and have nothing to do with the pupils but in our secondary schools I can feel uncomfortable when girls roll their skirts so short you are seeing their pants or the top of their tights that are not meant to be seen.

I am conflicted though as we absolutely should be able to wear what we like so long as we are covered.