To think telling a child to "cover up" because of male teachers is ewwww?

[FreeeeeeeeFreeFalling]

DD and her mates were wearing fairly standard vest tops at school for an own clothes day. All dressed exactly the same. DD singled out and told to cover up (I suspect because she is slightly larger chested than the others), which she found humiliating. She was told "there are male teachers around" as the reason!
They are 16.
I kind of think if male teachers can't keep their eyes to themselves, they shouldn't be teachers, right?!

AIBU to think this is a bit off?

OP is assuming that the teacher wearing hot pants would have the body to do so. If every teacher wore hot pants and a vest top to work, I doubt there would be much learning going on.
Can you imagine the uproar.

I don't think it matters if her clothing was innapropriate or not. Using the reasoning of there being male teachers around is gross.

Other countries are available if you do not like British freedoms.

He must really struggle on the beach/swimming baths. Eventually he's going to get a smack from a Dad, Brother, Boyfriend.

Other countries that treat women terribly, kill females in the womb, cover us up in black veils or restrict/remove our education.

In the west we have the chance to truly be empowered, to be educated, to work in the same industries as men, to have our own money and what instead are we fighting for? To have our arses and boobs on display. Please.

They can show what they please but they mustn't be complaining when people look.

Freedom to show and freedom to look.

It seems that you agree with me after all and, as you were talking shite before, I'm very glad that you have now shown some sense.

As you say, if the girls showing their tits, arses and-in some cases-fannys- don't like anyone looking at them then other countries are available.

Brava!

I'd probably look for several seconds if I saw a girl dressed like that, because first I'd be disbelieving, I'd wonder if she was wearing skin-coloured leggings, and I'd bemoan the state of youth today...and then I'd look away and go on with my day.

@OtterandaRock I wouldn't be offended and accuse someone of perving if they stared at my nose persistently, though. I'd think they were strange, but I wouldn't consider it offensive.

That's the point, and that's why the OP should complain.

I am trying to say that a body part being out does not mean it is on display for critique.

But it's nothing to do with you what some stranger in the street is wearing. So why would you need to?

People need to control themselves, not expect other people to make them comfortable.

And I say that as someone who also believes you should dress appropriately for professional environments. What you do in your time outside of those places, however, entirely up to you. Down to other people to manage their own reactions. Much like how you should manage your own reaction to anything.

So why dont we all walk round naked then?

This thread is too stupid ! No matter what the kid was wearing , if a male teacher cannot control himself then he shouldn’t work in a school ! No ifs no buts !! The girl should not have been shamed for having big breasts

Is looking at something critiquing? I do understand that staring for a prolonged period is rude, sure, but I'm not convinced that an extended look can always be called 'perving' if a person fully has that body part on display - especially if the two people are of the same age.

Well, the young women in question did not like it, and spoke up. He crossed their boundary.

'Always' is not helpful.

The focus needs to be on following school rules. It’s not up to your daughter to stop other staff feeling uncomfortable, but it is up to them to pick her up for not following school expectations. A good guide on no uniform days is often sixth form dress code, what does that say about strappy tops?

Because I can see them, with my eyes, and it's unusual and so draws my eye - and my brief disbelief. My own silent judgements are my business, and not inflicted on anyone else.

So people are entitled to make sure that other people can see their bums, but those other people aren't controlling themselves if they look at the bums? Hm. I'm not sure that works.

Why expose something if you don't want people noticing it?

I mean, in an ideal world maybe?
In the real world that’s not how things work.
You know it’s not.
People judge all the time.
If you display your cleavage or bum people will look. That’s usually the point. They will also critique…most people putting these body parts on display are hoping positively I guess?

I do have sympathy for young people who are finding their way fashion wise. We have all made mistakes. And there is a casual wear ‘uniform’ that suits some bodies better than others which is tough to navigate when you’re a teen.

It's difficult to judge without knowing. Was he sitting there leching for a minute? Or did he look over for three seconds, and just happen to be noticed looking?

I'm not sure how looking at something on display can be 'crossing a boundary' though? If someone stares at me for ages in public, I wouldn't call them a perv, or think they're crossing boundaries, I'd think they're weird and just generally making me uncomfortable (because I don't know why they're staring - they might be unhinged). Because I don't have my bum out.

I haven’t read the whole thread but I doubt this remark was made

Yes, very stupid of the teacher if it was.
Almost incredibly stupid…but I’ve been surprised before.

You wear a full Victorian style swimming costume when you are at the beach / in a pool then I take it? Is it acceptable for someone to stare at you in a normal bathing suit / bikini, because you've put your body on display?

Times and fashions change. Control yourself not other people.

Would you wear a bikini to the office?

No, but the girl the PPs nephew was staring at wasn't in the office.

What I wear to the office projects an image in line with who I am in the office. What I wear outside of the office is about who I am in my non working life. Neither of those things should result in someone staring at me.

Yes, if someone wants to look at me in my one piece and board shorts, I might find the staring rude/uncomfortable, or even intimidating, but I won't accuse them of being a perv unless they look obviously sexually aroused.

It all comes down to what is appropriate. I don’t think we’ll ever all agree. I personally err on the side of caution at all times. I don’t want to be seen as an attention seeker