To think telling a child to "cover up" because of male teachers is ewwww?

[FreeeeeeeeFreeFalling]

DD and her mates were wearing fairly standard vest tops at school for an own clothes day. All dressed exactly the same. DD singled out and told to cover up (I suspect because she is slightly larger chested than the others), which she found humiliating. She was told "there are male teachers around" as the reason!
They are 16.
I kind of think if male teachers can't keep their eyes to themselves, they shouldn't be teachers, right?!

AIBU to think this is a bit off?

Why on earth would you be "relieved/impressed" that your daughter's teacher wore hotpants?? What does that have to do with being a good, engaging teacher? And how is that 'relatable'? I wouldn't have particularly cared as a teenager, but both my kids would've viewed her with disdain for being such an attention seeker.

What if a male teacher came into school in hotpants?

That’s ridiculous! Having worked in a school it’s embarrassing for the teachers to have pupils airing their bits in the classroom. It’s totally inappropriate. All kids should be covered up and dressed for school not the beach!

@FreeeeeeeeFreeFalling A vest top on a large chested girl at school isn’t appropriate. It looks ridiculous and no one wants to be made to recognise your DD has a chest whilst at school. You should have told her to cover up before she left the house. You humiliated her, not the teacher and the reason was not because male teachers wanted to look at her, the exact opposite in fact, they don’t want to and don’t want to be forced to!

Skirts are literally up their backsides these days. Im not sure if you live in England yourself but I do not agree with you. Have you seen what school girls wear? Full face of make up the lot...

Jesus, it was you mentioned your child's wet dreams. If you can't talk about it on here, then have you really talked it through with your son? You can't comment on a thread then not discuss it openly and try to scensor other people. If you can't see that you hav also been rude then you need to look again. Rude with a healthy dose of the passive aggressive.

Lots of people seem to agree with me, so I hope a few have agreed with you too, so you can feel ok with your opinions and the childrens crotches that are on display. We all know it happens and like it or not, we all know you have looked and noticed too.

Unless the teacher's body was model-perfect, they would attract comments about their skin, their shape, their size, their hair, their age etc.
Students notice everything (they will be looking at the teacher for several hours in a week) and they pass judgement all the time. A teacher showing a lot of flesh would attract a lot of EW comments. And would be very distracting.
Speaking as a former classroom teacher.

I have a 16 year old daughter and she is certainly a child emotionally, mentally, developmentally etc. But she is physically developed, obviously, with a young woman's figure. And in just over a year she will legally be an adult and be able to do whatever she likes within the law. So basically, not a child physically and in just over a year, not a child legally. I have 14 months to get her to not be (such a) child emotionally, mentally, developmentally and especially in her comprehension of the world, its norms, expectations, men's behaviour and drivers (good and bad), how to thrive in the world as it is 😬

I think she would be uncomfortable with both male or female teachers wearing skimpy clothes as in society we have learned to dress for the occasion.
Hot pants and a vest top is not professional workwear for a teacher.
How do you not know this?

This is hilarious. Hats off to you if you can control what 16 year olds wear. I don't actually want to, but if I did? I wouldn't have a bloody chance 😂

Why do you think that’s funny?

I work in a school and have had to ask a student to cover up when in a meeting with me. 6th former in very revealing bra top. I told her the outfit looked amazing and suited them, but it made me uncomfortable and not really work appropriate and to please chuck her cardigan back on. All done with smiles and no embarrassment.

But a man couldn’t give them the compliment first without weird accusations. And I don’t get accused of anything because I’m married with children. (And I’m in a role where students know I’m there to help them). I feel a sense of having to look out for my male colleagues because if they were to be accused of looking at a female student, it could very quickly escalate. I think the teacher is looking out for her colleagues. If she says something, they don’t have to.

I think it’s about mutual respect between staff and students.

I agree with everything you've said OP.

Every single thing.

I don't think you will get anywhere with your complaint (that you are aware of) but I still think you should file it so your daughter sees you supporting her. She did nothing wrong, she was dressed like her friends.

She was singled out and humiliated because of her large chest.
She was told she was potentially responsible for distracting adult men.

It is disgusting. I'd be furious.

And yes why do we STILL have stupid dress codes? They annoy me so much. I'm not sending my DD to a school with a uniform because I don't see what it is 'preparing' her for - corporate attire is surely on its way out?

Well then she has to be accept being called out by others then, and humiliated, if you’re not going to do it.

Because other people make allegations.

🙄

You actually told a student that a revealing outfit "looked amazing and suited her"? You used those words?
What kind of school do you work in, what safeguarding have you actually done?
Extraordinary.

Do girls and women have to "accept" being cat-called and groped based on their outfits, as well as "humiliated"? Sexualluy assaulted, perhaps? Is that just the natural order of things?

Not distracting. Embarrassing them!

FFS. The look required for a Chancellor of the Exchequer making a public announcement on a serious subject with major effects on the national economy is hardly comparable to the look required for an own-clothes day in school. I've heard some absurd comparisons in my time, this may take some sort of prize.

Called-out by her teacher, to teach her how to dress appropriately in certain settings.

It’s a shame that this type of teaching has to fall to her school to do. It should come from home. This would have saved her being humiliated.

It’s on you OP.

I'm amazed that a school in 2026 would openly make that statement about male staff.
That's a whole assumption about the sex of teachers which modern SLTs have to avoid.

Could we organise an event where all the male teachers went to school with their bum cheeks hanging out of their hotpants? Then when any female that looked, glanced, noticed, giggled, commented were told they were sexual predators and perverts.

Let's see how that would go down with pupils and their parents.

Appropriate clothing means not skin tight, not bum showing, not hot pants, not underwear as clothes.

So jeans and a tshirt, or trousers / shorts , top. It’s not appropriate to wear skin tight clothing to school or work imo. Doesn’t matter who you are or what age, it’s poor taste / judgement.

I think the opposite. I think a teacher not 'model perfect' (whatever that is in today's world) wearing clothes confidently is a brilliant example to set to young women.

Ex teacher here by the way.

I remember taking a mixed year group on tour and one of the trips was to the water world. All the boys wanted to go, only half the girls. You can guess why. All the teachers just passively said "ah let them off, they are embarrassed about their bodies and looking fat." Well myself and the thankfully similar thinking teacher assigned to that trip went off for a chat with them talking about missing out on fun things in life due to ideas you've invented about yourself. An additional quarter reconsidered. We were both out in our swimsuits, definitely not model perfect but having lots of fun.

It's quite possible to believe that catcalling, sexual harassment, and sexual assault are all disgusting displays of misogyny that are never acceptable, and should never happen regardless of clothing.....and to also believe that all people should thoroughly cover their bums and crotches, and attempt to show minimal cleavage, in a place of work or education.

What about "humiliation"?

In countries where they don't have uniform they still have dress codes. Having your cleavage on display isn't appropriate for school.