To think telling a child to "cover up" because of male teachers is ewwww?

[FreeeeeeeeFreeFalling]

DD and her mates were wearing fairly standard vest tops at school for an own clothes day. All dressed exactly the same. DD singled out and told to cover up (I suspect because she is slightly larger chested than the others), which she found humiliating. She was told "there are male teachers around" as the reason!
They are 16.
I kind of think if male teachers can't keep their eyes to themselves, they shouldn't be teachers, right?!

AIBU to think this is a bit off?

Alright, so do something about it to get it changed if you feel that strongly.

In the meantime, it's not appropriate for the setting. Either accept it or set your child up to be completely unprepared for the real world.

Well, not necessarily. But I think we should have a good argument for why they can't, if that's what we're expecting. And personally, I honestly wouldn't mind at all one of my daughter's teachers wearing hot pants and a vest. I don't see why it would relate to how well she taught my daughter (and it might make her quite relatable, in fact)

I think part of the issue is some people have no standards then!

I have mixed feelings on this. I live near a 6th form and some of the students were skirts and shorts so short you can see the bottom bum crease. I think it’s inappropriate for anyone

It wouldn’t be appropriate at work to flash too much flesh so why at school

Relatable by wearing hot pants and a vest top.
Can you imagine a teacher dressed like that. My teenage daughter would hate that and not relate at all.
There is a dress code in life for a reason.

Nonsense. Brits are certainly not shy to strip off as soon as the sun comes out! However this is a school setting OP is talking about.

If you are talking about sexist and unequal codes, consider what men have to wear in office jobs in hot summers.
Women can wear loose sleeveless blouses and airy skirts, and often open sandals are acceptable.
Men have to wear collared shirts, full length trousers, socks, and shoes.

There is no decent argument for why anyone should accept unthinkingly anything. We should all think for ourselves and use our brains.

That doesn't necessarily mean rebelling against very widely accepted dress codes and standards.
Having thought it through, I am still against women wearing skimpy leisure wear in workplaces and schools, but I am equally against men being expected to be over-dressed in hot weather.

Was the comment made by a woman?

You know what, if I went into school and my DD's teacher was wearing hotpants, I actually might be quite relieved/impressed. It's no wonder so many kids are so terrified they can't go in, with all the nonensical austerity and the extent to which "education" is just training in conformity. Things that suggests a small willingness to not conform to expectations by the staff are, to me, usually a pretty good thing.

I do agree if one of the men (given it is an all girls school) came in in y-fronts, I would feel differently. But that would be because of concerns about sexual boundaries, not "inappropriateness for an office context".

Yes

Some of these responses are bonkers. A 16 year old is not a child physically and most are well aware or becoming aware of their impact on boys and men. I would expect everyone in my team to dress modestly and appropriately at work as it is a professional environment where i don't want people getting distracted. The girls are young and it's ok to let them know that there are times where a vest top is inappropriate. And yes, shoulders, legs, cleavage etc can be distracting!

So one rule for females and a completely different one for men. Do you know how ridiculous you sound.

I am talking about school, professional, church, other settings where many British think these areas of skin are beyond the pale.

I think it's entirely inappropriate for her to say that and I think it does such a disservice to the men she works with. I genuinely don't think the men will care and/or notice.

If they do, they shouldn't be teaching and if the teacher had genuine concerns about a colleague, the last thing she should have done is raised it with a pupil. I don't think she does, I think she's attempting to police what children are wearing.

I'm not suggesting a "rule" at all. Just thinking it through and suggesting some nuance. Sorry if you consider that ridiculous.

How is a 16 year old not a child?

No one is "victim blaming" anyone. We just don't want to see cleavage or buttocks.

This. Thank you.

That’s ridiculous. It’s culturally normal to wear appropriate clothing for the occasion. I’ve just had workmen at my house and would’ve been totally discomposed had they turned up in something just covering genitals as it’s only a body.its really not appropriate to have stomachs on show at school. And vest tops aren’t appropriate at school either. Maybe the way the message was delivered was clumsy but the message itself was correct.

Even the message that small boobs in a vest top are acceptable, but larger ones aren't?

That's interesting. Why would your teenage daughter hate that? What about it would bother her? I'm not sure there are many outfits a female teacher could wear which would upset my daughter.

So teachers should be non conformists? And that helps prepare children for the real world...how?

I fully agree! The buck stops with the parents. I think schools should enforce a rule of knee length skirts or pupils shall be sent home. It is down to the parents unfortunatly and as you can read from the thread we all have differing opinions. A local high school near to me which is catholic does not allow skirts at all (I think its unfair and thought it was odd) however giving this thread.... I can see why.

The only way the arguments you’ve heard on here aren’t valid would be if you don’t realise the humans view breasts and bottoms as sexual.

humans do view exposing part or all of breast and/or bottom is a sexual display.

Now the posters on here have started from the premise that you understand this as all adult humans understand this. They might not like this, but they understand.

So the full argument is: it is inappropriate to have part of your breasts uncovered at a work place because exposing part or all of your breasts are viewed by most humans as a sexual display and it’s not appropriate to make a sexual display in a work or educational setting.

Your dd is either year 11 or year 12, this is very close to leaving school and having a job age. She needs to learn how to dress appropriately for situations and understand the clothing we put on our bodies sends messages and which messages are appropriate to be sending in a work place and which ones are appropriate to be sending on a night out are not the same.

It sounds like the school is trying to teach her how to dress appropriate for different situations, is this something she’s going to learn at home or are you going to lie to her that no one will judge her negatively for choosing low cut breast exposing tops for work?