To think telling a child to "cover up" because of male teachers is ewwww?

[FreeeeeeeeFreeFalling]

DD and her mates were wearing fairly standard vest tops at school for an own clothes day. All dressed exactly the same. DD singled out and told to cover up (I suspect because she is slightly larger chested than the others), which she found humiliating. She was told "there are male teachers around" as the reason!
They are 16.
I kind of think if male teachers can't keep their eyes to themselves, they shouldn't be teachers, right?!

AIBU to think this is a bit off?

In Australia you have a completely different climate and so you usually dress accordingly. As do Brits for theirs.

Which means it is NOT the norm for everyone to be uncovered on a day to day basis, and therefore it's thought about differently.

It's not exactly rocket science that different countries / climates have different cultural norms for how to dress.

Boys in your classes are going shirtless to your lessons?

And these shorts they're wearing, are they of a reasonable length or are their buttocks on show?

Teachers also have to wear appropriate clothing for school as will the students when they start work.

Not saying OPs daughter is doing this but of course it’s a power game for some girls. The shift in power that comes with having a body some men want to stare at, but are absolutely not allowed to stare at, inverts the usual dynamics, which can be a heady experience for girls.

It’s warm today. I work in a school, if I went in wearing a low cut strappy vest and hot pants parents would rightly complain!

Actually they wouldn’t get a chance as my head teacher would rightly send me home to change!

You dont suddenly not feel awkward because your in a school environment if you would feel awkward in the streets in your home on a bus you would feel awkward at the school its ridiculous to expect teachers to just "not feel awkward" simply because they are teachers

The schools near me the girls wear near mini skirts, great for clubbing but not a look for school.

I think you need to read the whole thread and educate yourself on widening your perceptions, looking outside the box and not just following the narrative that you have been fed.

👍👏

We live in a society where they are generally accepted expectations around clothes that we've all grown up with. It is ingrained in us that certain places require more formality or more cover up - no one is shocked by seeing people in bikinis and swimsuits on the beach or at a swimming pool. Or tight outfits at a gym. But in work places, schools and town centres different standards prevail. It's just how it us - you can't just argue that its ok to wear low tops / short skirts etc everywhere. The expectations apply to men too - you wouldn't expect a man to be shirtless in a school or to be wearing tiny shorts.

In this case though, the school should make their expectations for a non uniform day clearer rather than berate the child for getting it wrong, and the remark re male teachers was inappropriate.

Sorry, to be clear - the man in the vest top was sent to change on a 'dress down Friday'.

I have still never heard a decent argument for why anyone should accept unthinkingly the argument that "it's just not appropriate", about schoolwear, workwear, or whatever. As I think people on this thread have said, this is hugely tied to time, location, religion, etc. Victorians and ankles (etc etc). Toe the invisible, moving, sexist, unequally-applied line, everyone.

I have read quite a bit of it. I am not sure why you think my view is not 'looking outside of the box and not just following the narrative that I have been fed' and yours is not? You have not changed your view in all of your posts and yet I am not educating myself and widening my perceptions but you dont have to?

Blimey, don’t think I’ve seen any that low cut, unless they are pulling them down to expose the areola on purpose?

Where have you done this? They have been things I haven't thought of in this thread that I have responded to accordingly.

The comments about “not looking” are absolutely ludicrous. You’d have to be wearing a blindfold to avoid seeing what is on display!

To answer someone's question, this is an all girls' school. So the comment related to adult males who have chosen to work in a girls' school. I like to think that means they can tolerate teenage girls wearing what they like to wear for one or two days per year, without losing their minds. If not, what the hell do they do at the beach or in the park?

All it takes is for some silly giggling girl to say “sir looked at my tits” when the teacher did nothing of the sort and some teacher’s career is down the toilet, My 27 yo son is a High School teacher and is very grateful when his female head and deputy call out inappropriate mufti day clothing as otherwise he is totally vulnerable to the small minority of girls who would find this funny.

So you think a teacher should be able to work in a low cut top and hot pants then?

or the male teachers should be able to take their tops off mid lesson if too hot?

Agree. Showing large amounts of flesh at school is not appropriate, and the school should be issuing guidelines when they have a non-uniform day (my school does).

When living in France (no uniforms there) I was shocked how some girls at my kids school wore skimpy vest tops with their breasts spilling out and shorts with their butt cheeks showing. I’m sorry but it is not appropriate. Never mind the male teachers - nobody wants to see that.

The good news is if you complain, they will solve the isdue by not having non uniform days.

Your child was dressed inaporopriately. If shes not tkld that, she wont learn.

I didnt say I had done anything. I said I didnt feel that you were applying your advice to me, to yourself. If you think you have, that's fine. I have my view and you have yours. I dont believe that everyone has to think the same, and I dont resort to being rude to people who don't think the same way. before you say to haven't been rude, the things you have said that o think are rude are ' maybe you should educate yourself' 'maybe you should Google this' 'you have no idea what its like to be a teenage boy' please can you open your eyes a little' 'well done for controlling your son's erections' to name but a few. I have no doubt you will come back saying that they are not rude, but i think they are. Generally I find people who have to be aggressive to try to get their point across, fail miserably, but never see it. But anyway, it's a lovely day and a sunny bank holiday for once and I hope you enjoy the sunshine.

Similar to the type of clothes suitable for an office job.
A vest top would not be acceptable in any office I have ever worked in.

I hate hate hate this thread so much, because as much as I hate the idea of telling a 7 year old to cover up (yes me 🤚 I was an early developer 😖) I know what happens when you don't.

Men.

That's all.