To think telling a child to "cover up" because of male teachers is ewwww?

[FreeeeeeeeFreeFalling]

DD and her mates were wearing fairly standard vest tops at school for an own clothes day. All dressed exactly the same. DD singled out and told to cover up (I suspect because she is slightly larger chested than the others), which she found humiliating. She was told "there are male teachers around" as the reason!
They are 16.
I kind of think if male teachers can't keep their eyes to themselves, they shouldn't be teachers, right?!

AIBU to think this is a bit off?

I dont agree with the 'because there are male teachers' thing but I'm a female and have seen a fair few arse cheeks driving past the girls walking to the local school, the skirts are so short its like a competition and I don't want to see that either.

It's like those printed t-shirts with a slogan or comic phrase printed on them. Someone glances at the words and they are being predatory. They wear it for attention then get offended when they get attention, so create more attention by causing a scene.

I can't be arsed with any of it.

But why?
You wouldn't go to work in a vest would you?
It's just so unnecessary.
In a school?

It's teaching them what is and isn't appropriate in a professional setting. That's the point of the school clothing policy.

I have big boobs myself. I don't wear things that show off loads of cleavage when I'm in the office because I don't want them in anyone's face in the same way I don't want anyone else's in mine. It's not professional 🤷

I'm sure most male teachers know not to look, but if several students decide to wear clothes that reveal a bit too much body then it becomes a scenario where the teacher can barely look round the class for fear of their eyes landing on something they shouldn't. It's difficult to address a student without looking in their direction.

Whilst they're at school both students and teachers alike should wear appropriate clothing. That to me means skirts of a decent length so that underwear is never revealed, no cleavage, no trousers below boxers, no gaping sleeves/armholes that reveal bras, nothing too tight or see through etc. Save the more revealing items for out of school.

Urgh the 12-15 years with teen girls can be so wearing. They grow out of it. I feel your pain and sympathise but a vest top is not appropriate for school. There was a clear letter before non uniform days setting out what not to wear at DDs school to get ahead of these issues.

We always got the brief of shoulders covered

Reasoning (male teacher’s gaze) totally out of order but the sentiment is right - school is preparation for the world of work and children should be expected to dress accordingly. I’m so glad my DC’s school takes a hard line on this and the proper uniform is adhered to at all times.

I have to question why so many people seem to be ok with girls gussets and bum cheeks being on display. It is obviously a thing and uncomfortable as you may be with it, yes we have all looked, because yes we have seen and are aware of it. People automatically accuse men of perving, because they've noticed so how would you feel if you were dumped in the same category.

Cue the moral outrage 🤦‍♀️

No where did I say that I 'controlling my son's erections and blushes'. You said to me that 'you have no idea what its like to be a teenage boy' and it said i have some idea as i have a teenage boy. I said that I feel its my responsibility to teach my teenage boy that girls are not responsible for managing his responses to situations and he, and only he, is responsible for managing and controlling his teenage (amd later adult) feelings in a variety if different situation. Teenage boys become men, and we are the adults we are from are formative years. What happens as a boy has a direct impact on how we behave as adults.

The conversation has moved in to hysterical levels, with posters such as yourself suggestion that schools are full of girls with their butt's and knickers on show. Which is just not the case. In any case, my post, which is what you responded to, was my take on a direct experience that I had, because the conversation had moved on, as these thongs tend to.

Yes and how are you supposed to walk up a set of stairs without looking ahead of you. If bum cheeks are purposefully on display then I am sorry, but that's on them.

Tbf, unless you work in a school you don’t realise the extent of uniform infractions. We try to challenge students for not adhering to dress code but it’s difficult due to student and parental complaints.

Agree that vest tops aren’t suitable. As staff you wouldn’t be able to wear one - at least one that was tight - sleeveless baggier tops are ok (I’ve worked in a school so I have some experience).

The ‘male teacher’ thing is BS, it should be that everyone dresses in an appropriate way for the environment - school isn’t a party or holiday.

Educating him does not take away from things that he can't control. You are virtue signalling. Hopefully you dole out the same lessons on appropriate behaviours and responses to your teenage daughter.

Your last sentence makes no sense, btw.

Best of luck to you in raising your puritan son and maybe Google the definition of hysterical.

Of course it is distracting. At school, church or court you dress modestly.
If it’s not appropriate for court, it’s not appropriate for school.

An important part of this @FreeeeeeeeFreeFallingyour dd is 16, so year 11. After GCSEs, many of this group will go into apprenticeships/work places in September. Your dd needs to know that vest tops that don’t fully cover her boobs, or any tops that show off her cleavage aren’t appropriate for most work places, even if they are more casual in dress codes.

A school is a work place. The top was inappropriate but the way they explained it was wrong.

Sorry, hebephile, does that make it any easier to handle?

British people are SO strange about shoulders/upper arms.

And also bare legs, to a lesser degree.

And visible toes/feet.

In Australia, people of all ages up to the most elderly women have these on show on the regular.

He is in control of his own feelings and behaviours. Situations will happen to him, that is outside of his control how he behaves in those situations is up to him. And yes. I do re teenage daughter. As i said in my previous post, I think that all students should adhere to school uniforms as its the standard of the school, but not because boys cant control their responses to situations.

Perhaps you should google 'puritan', as it applies more to your posts than mine.

I am sorry you couldn't work out that I meant 'things'by thongs. I am dyslexic and that can happen. But the typo was rather apt!

My DD goes to college & has done since age 14. Teachers never cared about cropped t shirts, leggings, coloured hair, make up, etc. It doesn't stop them learning. If my daughter wanted to wear a skirt so short you could see her underwear when she bent over, I would be talking to her about how it's inappropriate to display your knickers in public, but I'd also be saying the same to my son if he wore the low slung jeans with pants out the top.

As i have said, ii have no issues with uniform policies, and i believe students should adhere to them as they are the standards of the school. What i object to was the messages I got from the school about short skirts upsetting men, boys and that the girls may be attacked because of them. That was actually said to me and I believe, strongly, that that is a terrible message. This wasn't 20 years ago, this was in 2022. Also, my daughter wasn't even wearing skirts. She always wears trousers, it was a blanket call to all parents, which was doubly bizarre

Exactly. Boys in muscle shirts that show nipples (admittedly not so much of that in the UK most of the time, too cold!), or skin tight jeans. When I lived overseas those things were very common for teenage boys. I really really didn't want that in front of me in the morning before I'd even had a coffee.

I agree with the above.

I don’t think girls or boys should be wearing vest tops to school on a non-uniform day. Just wear a teeshirt or top where your shoulders and chest are covered. It shouldn’t be too difficult to find, regardless of bust size.

Our sixth form says ‘no low cut tops’ and I can’t see the problem with that?

Think it stems from the good old Victorians… You’re right though, I remember when Tracey Brabin was hammered for wearing an off the shoulder top in the House of Commons for example…