To think telling a child to "cover up" because of male teachers is ewwww?

[FreeeeeeeeFreeFalling]

DD and her mates were wearing fairly standard vest tops at school for an own clothes day. All dressed exactly the same. DD singled out and told to cover up (I suspect because she is slightly larger chested than the others), which she found humiliating. She was told "there are male teachers around" as the reason!
They are 16.
I kind of think if male teachers can't keep their eyes to themselves, they shouldn't be teachers, right?!

AIBU to think this is a bit off?

I agree to a point, I suppose it depends on your definition of cleavage. I think it’s natural for females with larger breasts to have a little cleavage on display when wearing a vest top. Just the same as you would be able to see more of an outline of their breasts in a turtle neck. It’s a natural part of their body shape. Therefore I don’t believe we should get too hung up on it.

To quote the head at a local girls school: “no to the 3 Bs- no boobs, no bums, no bellies.”

We’re not talking about bum cheeks though. We’re talking about a vest top.
And I absolutely have seen some incredibly short skirts in my various workplaces. Prior to teaching, they were mostly retail.

The NSPCC run a campaign called pants.

https://www.nspcc.org.uk/advice-for-families/pants-underwear-rule/

it’s about teaching small children that they don’t have to show their genitalia (private parts) to adults and should tell a trusted adult if anyone is trying to see their private parts.

i think this is a good thing, and helps protect against child abuse.

Women don't generally wear vest tops and crop tops in offices. School is a workplace too. There's loads of non uniform options besides vest tops.

It was a non-uniform day. If it was a dress down day at work, I think it would be arguable that vest tops would be OK

I feel quite strongly about this, you may have noticed 😬

Why is it absolute nonsense? She feels the way she feels (and many other posters on here feel the same apparently). Just because you don't feel the same way doesn't make someone else's opinion nonsense.

Because children need to learn via own clothes day rules that boobs bum and belly should be covered and wouldn’t be ok even in a “dressed down” office space?

Most 6th forms have suit rule because it’s easier than trying to constantly police “appropriate smart casual”.

This is difficult but presumably whoever told your daughter to cover up had her best interests at heart.

Of course you would trust that a male teacher is less likely than most men to be eyeing up the girls, but that doesn’t necessarily mean you need to be giving them an eyeful, does it? And supposing your trust was perhaps misplaced and there was a bad apple around?

Because of my arguments; I gave my reasons in the post. Nonsense means makes no sense; I didn’t call the poster names, just that their argument doesn’t make sense to me.

But not in a vest top? Right okay.

I don't think we should be too hung up on a lot of social norms but that's the society we live in.

Vest tops are never OK in my office for either sex.

Point made, the rules are there because it’s easier to enforce. Not necessarily because they are right. As most school rules do (I’m not against them, I teach, I get why the rules have to be enforceable), just not on non-uniform day when it’s unlikely rules have been specified.

I think a lot of the posters here would be surprised at what it is like in a real life classroom. I feel uncomfortable as a female teacher with sexual interest in teenage girls. I can be stood at the front of the classroom and look towards my class and not know where to look because they are at risk of flashing me. If you are sitting in a short skirt and tiny g string people opposite can see more then you think, I might have 6 girls in a class sat opposite me. If they are wearing a top so low they are constantly having to reposition it that isn’t suitable either, I stand above your daughter to help her with work, she’s likely leaning forward onto a desk, meaning she is more likely to reveal herself compared to just walking around at home. With the short skirts, most schools have stairs that go around, massive groups of students will be seeing straight up them if they are walking behind them.

I don’t want to see any private body parts that I do not consent to. Just because your child is a teenage girl and they are happy to flash doesn’t make it any better than a flasher in the street.

Fair enough, but they are in plenty of other workplaces 😊

And people wonder why there's problems in British Schools.

I know I won’t change your mind, but yes, we do. Otherwise many men perve at us. So if you’re comfortable with that, put it all on display. Personally I prefer not to and have taught my daughters that it’s best not to risk attracting the attentions of nutters.
Plus too much of anything on display looks…not classy.

Agreed, but if we don’t tackle the norms we don’t like they will never change. Acceptance of domestic abuse, role of women in the workplace, acceptance of differing sexualities, inter-racial marriages, regular recycling etc. to name just a few….

Some confusion may be coming about different types of vest tops.

Chunky strapped higher ones that mostly cover the chest, vs strappy low cut ones that show areola give a very different vibe.

Who told your dd to cover up op?
If it was another teacher I’d be furious. They must have a very low opinion of the male teachers if they think pupils wearing vest tops could cause an issue.
Telling females to cover up to protect them from males, and this is what was being implied, is just awful, yet again blaming the females for the males reactions

Irrespective of big tits or small tits; Who in their right mind thinks that a vest top is a appropriate for school?

I think you are missing a fundamental point. We live in a society. Now, we might not agree with society’s rules, we might want to change them and may/ should sometimes take a stand against them. But we also need to learn how to live as part of that society. School is about learning about how to one day go out into the big wide world as a valuable and valued member of society. Therefore schools set rules based upon wider societal understanding and expectation. They teach us how to be a member of a society. A non-uniform day (according to expectations and any rules a school may set) is not giving children a chance to show off, it’s asking them to dress for the situation.

Do I agree with all of our societies rules and expectations? No. Do I make a stand at any and every opportunity? No.

I might agree, for instance, with a lot of what the ‘free the nipple’ people say, but I don’t think that they are for a moment saying that we should all walk around boobs out everywhere we go.

We all of us adapt in some way to different situations. There’s nothing wrong with that.

Yeah. You don't really understand what 'appropriate' means.

😂