To ask whether my therapist will be required to report this

[Vinividivici]

My child half admitted to me that her father and his gf hit each other. She refused to give any details at all.

I told my therapist. My therapist said, "you know that would be child abuse???"

I explained that I know this, but I don't know for sure whether it is happening. I also explained that I have encouraged my child to tell the school or my child's therapist if they are scared of dad or if grown ups are hurting each other or anyone else.

YABU - No, obviously this is total hearsay with no specific details and it would be mad to report

YANBU - Yes. Your therapist has probably already reported.

(*In case this sounds familiar - the general topic of the abuse is also covered in another thread)

I have done some research, and haven't found any clear info on mandatory reporting obligation thresholds. Frustrating.

Unlikely unless she has reasons to believe your child is in immediate danger.

This one will be at her discretion I think, as you haven't directly witnessed it she will likely just record it.

I would say yes as its happening currently I know they don't when its past events put im sure if its current and safeguarding issues then yes. But I doubt it would go far and actually come to anything.

According to child social services, a child witnessing domestic abuse constitutes child abuse

Just so I am clear: YOUR child has told you that they are, at the very least, witnessing violence from (and to) their father. Your therapist has told you that this amounts to child abuse. You agreed. You believe that (at the very least) your child is scared (and presumably distressed).
Your response has been to tell your therapist and to tell your child to tell their therapist and school if concerned.

Where are you in this? Why have you done nothing beyond telling YOUR child to speak to someone else???? As the parent of a child their safety sits with you. It is not something to be farmed out to others; it is not for others and certainly not your child to have to make decisions or take action. FFS parent!

what do you intend to do about it? Wouldn’t you report this to social services yourself, so they can intervene and assess the level of safeguarding required for your child?

its not for you to prove it’s happening before you do anything.

Yes - if it's considered to be a reliable report, I'm sure it would be reportable. The question is more about the evidence threshold. I'm a third party with a tiny bit of hearsay.

No, your child has told you they’re being abused. What are you going to do about it?

As your child’s parent, you shouldn’t be worrying whether this will be reported - YOU should report this.

No, I'm not reporting. I reported my child being strangled and I came under serious threat and had to attend parenting classes because my ex responded by saying I am a parental alienator and my child was a liar. (No protective measures were put in place for my child and SS basically accused her to her face of lying).

There is zero chance I am going to put myself and my child in danger over this when she won't even give details about what happened.

She was DEFINITELY subjected to retaliation in her father's household for telling about the strangling. In this case, everyone would just lie and then blame me and my child.

Your child has told you they are being abused by witnessing the behaviour. It's not down to the therapist to report it - it's down to you. Why haven't you done it already? I am struggling to understand that, unless your child is a fantasist and has form for telling really strong lies? Even so I would err on the side of caution.

I am a therapist and yes I would reporting this to social services.

Please see my other reply. All that would happen is that my ex would tell everyone that I am an alienator and use it as evidence that I'm an unfit mother.

Are you hoping the therapist will report it as you think it will be taken more seriously.

The thing about safeguarding is that when you have information from a victim you must pass it up the tree. You don't stop to find out if the victim is telling you the truth, that's not your job. Your job is to tell someone with more experience and power than yourself. They decide how to proceed.

You can’t ignore your child telling you this stuff and allow her to be subjected to it. Hopefully the therapist reports it.

Probably not? Which is why I backpedaled when she perked up and looked concerned. I think my child would just be put in greater danger if this went to SS.

Honestly, the whole thing is torturing me. My daughter doesn't want to see him or be with him at all, but I am totally powerless to protect her.

Not sure if this is a statement towards me or an assessment of my therapist's reporting obligations?

I saw your update, it sounds awful. But there are people in the system to support you - why would your ex's words have more weight than yours? Why did things go so wrong last time? Have you had contact with the police and the courts over the fact that he strangled her? I mean, no one in their right mind would not take that seriously and a second report of violent assault - no matter on whom - would only back that up surely? Also if your therapist is very likely to report this. It's her duty - it's all of our duty. You can get ahead of it by going to the police and asking for the necessary support - such as your daughter's visits to her father being temporarily suspended at the very least.

Your child is stays in a household where she see adults hitting each other and where she was strangled herself? You mean attacked by her dad, your ex?

Yes would be automatic referral to social care.

You must report what your child has told you OP.

Yes, the police were involved. They just sent it back to Social Services. It's difficult to describe how much no one cares about fathers abusing children, especially posh, rich fathers. I'm an immigrant and come across as having a nervous disposition. That's fatal for child abuse allegations.

I think they would tell you and encourage you to report it