To ask whether my therapist will be required to report this

[Vinividivici]

My child half admitted to me that her father and his gf hit each other. She refused to give any details at all.

I told my therapist. My therapist said, "you know that would be child abuse???"

I explained that I know this, but I don't know for sure whether it is happening. I also explained that I have encouraged my child to tell the school or my child's therapist if they are scared of dad or if grown ups are hurting each other or anyone else.

YABU - No, obviously this is total hearsay with no specific details and it would be mad to report

YANBU - Yes. Your therapist has probably already reported.

(*In case this sounds familiar - the general topic of the abuse is also covered in another thread)

OP your fucked either way, either you report it, or you will get questioned when it comes out why you didnt report it

I do think parental alienation is now being pushed back on: https://www.rightsofwomen.org.uk/important-judgment-every-agency-at-fault-in-parental-alienation-case-where-children-removed-from-mothers-care

Yes, it's a safeguarding issue. Depends on the therapist. Therapists usually first encourage clients to report these kind of issue themselves. But a therapist ( I assume in private practice) who is working ethically will discuss this with their supervisor first and then make a decision.

Your therapist may decide that she needs to report this, she has a duty to explain this to you and to tell you what she’s told any services she’s contacted. I’d expect that she’ll want to discuss with her supervisor before making that decision. It will also depend on whether she works for an agency, which will have clear thresholds, or in private practice where she will have more discretion.

In your shoes I’d discuss with her your fears and use therapy to help you work out what you can do from here. Is contact currently court ordered?

It’s not the therapists job to work out if it’s a reliable report or not.

The therapist reports what they’ve been told, social services decide if it’s a reliable report requiring action or not.

A good therapist would tell you if they were going to report it.
If they think you can protect the child, I don't think they would report it. You should've signed a confidentiality form when you started setting out times when confidentiality can be breached.

I would get your child their own therapist in the hopes they would discuss everything and the child's therapist could then report.

Sorry OP. You're stuck between a rock and a hard place.
I absolutely understand your fear and caution. And I do understand that a vague report of "hitting" will be very hard to get evidence for as presumably both parties will deny it. And so will you put her in danger of retaliation? People here seem to have great faith in SS but not sure what they can do if both the ex and the gf deny it.
To be honest I think I'd be trying to understand my DC feelings here. Is she scared? Is she upset? Could she see a school therapist and perhaps it could get reported that way.

Yes, it was a mistake, but that's no reason to give up. There are so many other routes to take – via school, via charities, via your therapist.

A disclosure was made about current and ongoing domestic abuse. The therapist should have reported the safeguarding concern.

Child has their own therapist - it's there in the OP.

That's... not how any of that works.

Under legislation, if a child witnesses domestic abuse then this constitutes child abuse

Well she knows this, its in the OP

You are between a rock and a hard place here, OP, as you obviously know. I'd say it's reportable. It's not up to you, or your therapist to assess the level of risk. It's a known safeguarding risk. Usually the therapist would talk to you about reporting this yourself and the therapist confirming you had done this, or that the therapist would have a duty to report. In an ideal world, your DC would share this information in school and they would report, which would possibly protect you from some repercussions of the disclosure. Is there someone you trust in school and could talk to?

Have you asked your therapist? They shouldn't normally report without discussing it with you and ideally they report with your consent, though if you refused, they would do it without. They wouldn't discuss it with you only if there was a belief that would cause increased risk to the child. They can also highlight on the safeguarding referral that risk to you and your child would be increased by the information being shared. I'm so sorry you and your DC have to have this piece of shit in your lives.

So why are you still sending your child there

As stated, I will be seen as a bad actor if I withhold my child from her father.

I thought exactly the same.
'Tell someone else kiddo'.
Madness.

I have previously reported similar disclosures in my line of work so would expect that they would do the same

It’s out will be reported as a safeguarding concern and both you and your ex will be spoken to by social services so they can complete a risk assessment.

How old is your daughter ? Above the age of about 10 the family courts really consider what the child wants and if that’s not to visit her dad, she will not be forced too but obviously he will claim parental alienation

She is 9. I thought it was more like 12/13. I am counting the days until I can get her out of there.

Rubbish. You’re talking out of your bum.
Men with access to expensive legal support run this country and the women in it.

Welcome to UK family law.

It sounds like you are in an awful situation - sorry.

However, in your shoes I would be reporting it myself regardless of the therapist’s actions. I know there is context as to why that feels really difficult, but it is irrelevant that it may be hearsay. That’s the nature of safeguarding, you don’t have to be sure to report it, your obligation is simply to report it.

A regulated and ethical therapist is likely to have reached a similar conclusion, though I would expect them to discuss that with you first and try to agree a course of action.