Another baby has died in a hot car (Spain)

[comoatoupeira]

Another child has died in a horrific way after being accidentally left in a hot car.

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2026/may/21/girl-dies-car-extreme-heat-spain

again, it was the father, distracted by work, who forgot to drop her off at nursery. I honesty don’t think this is a man/woman thing I think it is a work thing. In every one of this abominable stories it is someone being distracted by a work situation and they forget they haven’t dropped off the child. The article explains really well why it happens and how we need to make safeguards because we can’t rely on ourselves at all times.

distraction kills! Much more than malevolent intent.

AIBU to think that every single parent needs to read this article to realise it can happen to anyone and sometimes extreme stress and the power of habit can overcome us and cause the worst to happen
https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/magazine/fatal-distraction-forgetting-a-child-in-thebackseat-of-a-car-is-a-horrifying-mistake-is-it-a-crime/2014/06/16/8ae0fe3a-f580-11e3-a3a5-42be35962a52_story.html

BE WARNED it is the most upsetting piece of writing I have ever read.

DH used to drop DS to nursery on foot as it was near his work. A couple of times, he ended up at work with DS in the pushchair and once DS asked "where are we going?" as they trudged along.
We thought it was funny but I could easily see how it happens in a car.
I assume we only hear when a child dies, there must be loads of incidences where a child was left all day and was ok (which is obviously also NOT ok!).

If you had children you would probably find it easier to understand, the busy-ness of the day with kids and work, the routines, the sleep deprivation etc.
Your brain needs to keep track of so much more.

I don't get it at all. I forget things, leave keys in the door etc and spend ages looking for them but to forget a child is in the car?? Even if 'whoops forgot nursery drop off' at no point during the day did his dc cross his mind 'oh I wonder how they're doing' or similar?!

If not deliberate then a sign of serious cognitive impairment surely.

Incorrect. Actually look into it.

I can imagine this happening to me as I can get absent minded when stressed about something and can drive on auto pilot sometimes. I really sympathise.

Distracted people. Busy people. Sleep-deprived people (i.e. people with babies, very often). The piece OP linked to describes very well how it happens.

I can’t help thinking that if a dog died from being left in a hot car the owners would be absolutely vilified. But if it’s a child it’s “well it could happen to anyone”.

If you can understand how someone could forget their keys but can’t understand how someone could forget their child, then you don’t understand how our memories actually work. The human memory has many quirks and flaws.

Because once he gets to work his brain kicks into work mode, and he just goes about his day. Like most of us do.

If you read the article it talks about how this could happen to anyone, and is nothing to do with how much someone loves their child.

@FastFood I don't have kids, but really, I really don't get how you can forget your child somewhere. I really don't get it.

It’s really easily done. You just drive, your mind is distracted, you go on autopilot but don’t drop your kid off.

Happened to me twice when I was meant to be dropping a child at preschool. It was only luck there was no adverse outcome. Both times I pulled up to work, got my stuff together in the front, started getting out to hear a little voice saying ‘am I not going to preschool today mummy/am I coming to work with you today mummy’. If they had of fallen asleep in the car on the way, they would not be here today, I live in a HOT country, doubt they would have lasted an hour.

After this happened twice to me, I ALWAYS put my handbag in the footwell below whatever kid would be last out of the car, because I knew I had to do something. It’s easier for women as we typically have handbags, men often tend not to have anything so can’t do this (for example, my DH drives with his wallet, keys and phone in his pants pockets).

I did have a run in with a policeman once - utter, utter cunt, who refused to allow me to get my license from my handbag which was in the footwell in the back below a child in a car seat. I had a large SUV and couldn’t reach and he wouldn’t allow me to get out to get it and insisted that as I could not produce my license, it was ticket worthy. I did explain why my bag was there. This was before the days of electronic licenses on your phone, which would not have helped anyway as my phone would have also been in my handbag, inaccessible. I couldn’t be bothered with the time required to challenge the ticket and paid it. Even after that, I still kept my handbag there, as after what could have been a tragedy twice, it still made sense.

I've always put my stuff in the rear footwell, although my kids are mainly grown now. My memory is shocking and I am prone to auto pilot, I'm not arrogant enough to assume I won't forget as I've read too many of these stories to know that it isn't just neglectful, stupid parents who do stuff like this. We can all be distracted and all it takes is one instance and your child is gone.

Read the New York post article.

DH once was 25 miles into his commute before DD asked where they were going. Frightened the life out of him. These stories are thankfully rare but horrifically possible.

But the point is that it CAN happen to anyone. It's science. It's horrible but it's true.

There was an awful video recently of a grandmother in the US who was dropping her grandchildren off before going to work herself. She dropped the older child at school/nursery then was supposed to drop the baby off at a different day care but just forgot. She went to work for the full day and no one realised until the poor baby was found dead 9 hours later.

In this case, the grandmother's own mother was in a car accident the night before, so she'd been at the hospital most of the night and had hardly any sleep, along with the worry about her mother's condition. It was an accident with devastating consequences.

There for the grace of god go I.

I expect it’s related to phones as well. One badly timed work text…

So you think we should vilify them for this tragic accident? How unkind!

Do you mean the Washington post article, it is behind a paywall.

And there was a story in France where a grandfather drove to the shops to pick up some emergency tonic water or something during a family party, took the toddler with him, toddler fell asleep, went back into the house in a rush to give the drinks to whoever was hosting the party, decided to leave it ten minutes or so so the toddler could keep napping, then got distracted and forgot to go back for the toddler, who died in the car.

I don’t think it’s the same.

people intentionally think they’ll leave their dog in the car because they think it’ll be ok. They didn’t forget to take it out. It’s fair more likely to be bad judgement.

no one leaves a baby in the car all day whilst they work in an office intentionally, because they think a baby will be ok in the car alone.

Haven’t most of these terrible incidents been because “dad” was too busy watching porn or actually done deliberately.

I think you just have to put in an email address to read it?

Very fair comment.

That’s a good point- I’d never really thought about it. It must happen a lot and some of the time it’s happening in cooler seasons/cooler places and the child luckily survives.

I read that Washington Post article about ten years ago and it has stayed with me. One or two specific details from the stories haunt me and my heart breaks for the families involved (incidentally it surprises me that marriages can sometimes survive this sort of thing. I KNOW the responsible parent doesn’t deserve to be punished, but I can imagine it would be hard not to be angry with the parent who forgot the child).

I absolutely hate that every time this is discussed, there are ALWAYS people who loudly proclaim it couldn’t possibly happen to them- it’s so arrogant and shows a real lack of understanding of humans and our brains. It has nothing to do with the intelligence of the parents, or how much they love their children.

I’m glad my children are young adults so I’m long past this particular danger.

no