Another baby has died in a hot car (Spain)

[comoatoupeira]

Another child has died in a horrific way after being accidentally left in a hot car.

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2026/may/21/girl-dies-car-extreme-heat-spain

again, it was the father, distracted by work, who forgot to drop her off at nursery. I honesty don’t think this is a man/woman thing I think it is a work thing. In every one of this abominable stories it is someone being distracted by a work situation and they forget they haven’t dropped off the child. The article explains really well why it happens and how we need to make safeguards because we can’t rely on ourselves at all times.

distraction kills! Much more than malevolent intent.

AIBU to think that every single parent needs to read this article to realise it can happen to anyone and sometimes extreme stress and the power of habit can overcome us and cause the worst to happen
https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/magazine/fatal-distraction-forgetting-a-child-in-thebackseat-of-a-car-is-a-horrifying-mistake-is-it-a-crime/2014/06/16/8ae0fe3a-f580-11e3-a3a5-42be35962a52_story.html

BE WARNED it is the most upsetting piece of writing I have ever read.

@NeedspaceforlegoYes I rarely drive without DS in the car, especially the route to nursery / work. On the odd occasion I have (if he’s been ill and DH has taken the time off to stay home with him) my brain had momentarily just expected him to be in the car seat even when he’s safe at home.

Not at all but i do drive with regard to peoples safety, inc my own and those i love.

Listening intently to a podcast etc is a sure fire way to have a crash or "forget" your child and leave them to die in a overheated car.

Are you one of these people who see nothing wrong in using a phone whilst driving?

If I can't get into work without my bag, but don't usually take baby to nursery, then yes. It's not about forgetting or remembering, it's about habit and need to create a failsafe against a known, if rare, falibility. I don't use it routinely, but when my mother was in ICU and everything was difficult and out of routine, I definitely did.

They do think about their child when they’re at work. They picture their child having a nice time at nursery. They believe their child is at nursery. You still don’t understand this.

What do you mean by “forget”, are you saying you don’t believe that the children were forgotten and it was a deliberate act?

Exactly this! It’s about routine!

I'll never understand it correct. It is neglect, tragic and sad yes but neglect nonetheless and as such they should be charged imo. They 'picture their child having a nice time' .

No about of 'oo it was a different routine', 'oo I didn't have an app to remind me I had a child' excuses or explains it regardless of the overly long descriptive stories from the article by WP bloke.

You've never been out of routine and forgot something?

Not my dc no. Maybe my glasses a couple of times.

So you’re intimating it was a deliberate act, because neglect is deliberate.

Shame on you! That’s an awful thing to think.

Not my DC either for me, but having sense and empathy I realise empathy, I realise that it is different for others.

I thank my lucky stars I’m not one of the unfortunate ones.

I understand I’m not above them, they made a dreadful mistake, but it wasn’t a choice.

A poster earlier made some really good points about prosecuting parents in this situation. Did you read that post? I cannot see any benefit in punishing the parents (unless there is very clear evidence of neglect. Leaving a child in the car by mistake is not automatically neglect- it happens because of failures of the brain).

We’ve established over the past couple of days that you do not understand this at all and that you don’t have any compassion for these parents. You are in a minority in that. I’m glad that the people who make decisions about charging parents understand this phenomenon much better than you do.

I hope you don't need them to drive.

You are correct, I really can not understand how someone would forget a baby in a car! It’s mind blowing to me!

Like alot of unintended tragic events in life it can happen to any of us and if it hasn't we should be grateful, not judgemental of those poor people it has happened to.
To say it would definitely not happen to me is either deliberately misunderstanding what happened or delusional. We can be charitable and assume those being delusional about this are using it as a defence mechanism because they can not comprehend it happening to them, which is a different thing but an understable position. It is incomprehensible being in that situation but not incomprehensible it could happen to anyone, including yourself.

I remember when DS18 was a few weeks old I had to return some items at the post office, it was a really small tightly packed shop and his pram wouldn't fit so I left him at the window so he was visable whilst I went in. I kept my eyes on the pram the whole time I was in the queue until I got to the counter, returned the items and then left the post office, crossed the road and started walking up a massive hill, it was a few minutes until I realised and had to run back to get him, I was horrified and cried the whole time walking back home with him.

When we bought DS9 back from 6 months in hospital after a month or so DH took a day off and told me to go out and do something for myself, it was sprung on me so I hadn't planned anything and all I remember about the day even now is getting the bus into the local centre and coming back home.
I lost a good 5 hours of time, no recollection even today of what I did, the next time I put my coat on I found a cinema ticket for a film I can't remember watching.

Our brains work in weird ways especially when experiencing stress and sleep deprivation, no one is infalible.

100%

Stop with the “well I’d never do it”, Christ knows they’ve suffered enough.

100%

Reading this has reminded me, I was having chemo last year, a lot of it!!

Apparently we went to a place where we walked round an old holiday park which we visited as children (by coincidence we now live near it), spoke to a security guard, who showed us the old swimming pool and amusements. I have no recollection at all, my DH is aghast as he said don’t you remember this bit or that bit? No I don’t remember a thing! I had to ask him to stop talking about it as it was anxiety inducing not having any recollection.

My mind at that time was clearly concentrating on something else.

You don't really need to understand for yourself, though - all you need to know is that experts who have studied this phenomenon do understand it and they understand it's not about neglect or any other form of poor parenting. It's pretty telling that even in the US - a country that seemingly loves to incarcerate people - there is an acknowledgement that these acts are not crimes.

I don't know why anyone on this thread is continuing to debate with Gloriia, by the way. The cast iron certainty in the face of evidence to the contrary makes it pointless.

Can you not see the vast differences beyween the two situations?

A parent that leaves a child unintentionally in a car verses parents who deliberately leave their child unattented so they can enjoy dinner?

The McCann case was a deliberate poor choice, neglect - I believe they should have been prosecuted. Leaving their children was a deliberate decision - forgetting a child is very different.

You'd be surprised how many of the older generation have tales of baby's being forgotten outside small shops. In exactly the same manner as you describe.

I'll take a guess, you've fallen asleep in the cinema, I've done that a fair few times. Sat down in a comfy seat, in the dark, nudge nudge "Mum wake up".

Exactly this! How do you forget your own baby?! It’s not like they’re quiet either! Nothing should be more important to make you forget you birthed a human.

Yes I’ve been ‘out of routine’ and forgotten my house keys and got locked out. Massive pain and felt like a twat.

No one died, though.

Obviously not. I think not being able to see might have prompted me. Still I could have maybe killed someone and according to some enablers on here shrugged my shoulders and said to the cops 'hey my Swiss cheese brain/autopilot/insert any theory stopped me carrying out the most basic of safety procedures. I've suffered enough please do not charge me'.

Yes there are differences but not as many as you are suggesting, deep down, it shows a disregard for your child.

A pp has said that whilst suffering sleep deprivation, they lost track of time... fair enough but in those circumstances, don't drive (which they didn't) but then another poster sees nothing wrong with focusing their attention on a podcast instead of driving, unbelievable.

Like i said, i was a single parent in very difficult circumstances but you have to be aware of your state of mind and physical health, your child is 1000% reliant on you as the parent, its probably the most serious thing a person can ever do.

So i will never understand how anyone can just leave a child locked in a car.