Another baby has died in a hot car (Spain)

[comoatoupeira]

Another child has died in a horrific way after being accidentally left in a hot car.

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2026/may/21/girl-dies-car-extreme-heat-spain

again, it was the father, distracted by work, who forgot to drop her off at nursery. I honesty don’t think this is a man/woman thing I think it is a work thing. In every one of this abominable stories it is someone being distracted by a work situation and they forget they haven’t dropped off the child. The article explains really well why it happens and how we need to make safeguards because we can’t rely on ourselves at all times.

distraction kills! Much more than malevolent intent.

AIBU to think that every single parent needs to read this article to realise it can happen to anyone and sometimes extreme stress and the power of habit can overcome us and cause the worst to happen
https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/magazine/fatal-distraction-forgetting-a-child-in-thebackseat-of-a-car-is-a-horrifying-mistake-is-it-a-crime/2014/06/16/8ae0fe3a-f580-11e3-a3a5-42be35962a52_story.html

BE WARNED it is the most upsetting piece of writing I have ever read.

I watched a documentary on this a year or so ago.

It’s absolutely fascinating from a psychological perspective because when you wise up to it, you realise how much of your life is dictated by routine.

My car has an alarm when you stop, to check the back seat. It’s the bare minimum

That's one of the saddest articles I've ever read.

So so tragic, avoidable but unintentional.

I cannot imagine how difficult it must be to deal with both for the father but also for his wife.

One tiny little thing (a cry, a call, a glance, anything) and circumstances would be different.

There isn't a flawless person on Earth. Everyone forgets occassionally, everyone makes mistakes. Be greatful yours aren't as big but don't be arrogant enough to think you couldn't ever do the same.

It wouldn't have happened to me because I walked my dd to nursery. I would also have realised before 3pm if she wasn't at nursery. Ours send updates through the day and I always check them, so I would have realised she wasn't there fairly early on. Our nursery would have phoned home if we hadn't turned up unexpectedly, and the schools do too.

Absolutely awful 💔 sends shivers down my spine

Another though? This is extraordinarily rare.

a tragic accident, but I don’t see that it justifies particular action

Well bully for you, aren’t you wonder mum.

What’s the need to be gloaty about something like this? It’s a tragedy. It happens to everyone, from all walks of life.

Because it should never, ever happen. It should never, ever happen again.

Add in that people with babies who can’t remind the parents that they’re in the car are also often sleep deprived so not necessarily functioning at full brain capacity either.

People do die through accidents though. It’s not something we can just end, unfortunately. And there will be far, far more common accidents- especially in the uk- where attention would be more effectively spent than putting in safeguards against leaving babies in cars in the heat.

I'm not going to read the article as I still find the last one I read so upsetting. There was a case in the USA which was very similar from what I've seen of the details and it really stayed with me for a while and was so upsetting. I have a two year old. The cases I've read about in the past seem to be when the regular schedule is changed so people just go on autopilot. As someone who can be a bit of a scatterbrain with some anxiety this is just a nightmare. As much as I hate to have read about such horrible cases I try to reframe them in my mind as lessons to learned and so try to be alert to such risks.

Can I ask - and maybe you don’t have a baby/toddler so it’s not actually relevant, but if you do - how often do you actually check the backseat when the alarm goes off vs how many times do you just ignore it because you “know” there’s no reason to check. Something like that could so easily be an autopilot of “turn off car, turn off alarm” without even thinking about it. It could end up being false reassurance that ends up being worse because you think “it wont be me, I have the alarm” but if you (not you specifically) turn that alarm off several times a day for months on end, are you paying attention?
Something like putting your bag on the backseat would work better because then putting it there becomes the habit (rather than mindlessly silencing an alarm being the habit) and it forces you to open back door of the car.

Perhaps there could be a change in vehicle technology - you know where some cars have an alarm tone when a seatbelt is pulled out but not clicked into the fixing? How about adjusting that so that it sounds if the engine is switched off but a seatbelt is still in place? And then adapting it for car seat technology for the ones that are fixed other than by a seatbelt?

It would have to have a different tone, maybe a louder one, for rear seats to cut through the autopilot - and possibly set up something that can send alerts to mobile phones if there's a still fastened seatbelt/childseat or a weight in the latter?

I don't have kids, but really, I really don't get how you can forget your child somewhere.
I really don't get it.

I have forgotten stuff before, like bananas at the till, or goggles in the swimming-pool changing room. But a CHILD?
And it's not just forgetting the child, it's forgetting them for long enough so that's fatal for the poor thing.

I just don't understand that level of distraction.

@Favouritefruits anyone can forget a child, my grandma forgot my uncle in the pram outside the shop back in the day, she only remembered when she got home and quickly ran back, he was still fast asleep outside the shop!

I don’t think that you can put this one in an ‘accidents happen’ category.

It is so particularly awful because of the position the child is put in: physically restrained in a seat, in a locked car, with the burning sun through the window, for hours. It is torture. It must never happen again.

It can happen to absolutely anyone and it's the height of hubris to exclude yourself from that pool.

The Washington post article linked is brilliant - I read it years ago and it's stayed with me. That article lists all sorts of loving, intelligent parents who have gone through this horrendous tragedy. I remember one of them was a NASA scientist.

It tends to happen when there’s been a change in routine - for example dad taking to preschool instead of mum. Parents who are sleep deprived, stressed and out of sync can go into “autopilot”.

Change of routine + autopilot and usually some stress (home/ work/ family whatever). Plus also deprivation. It is not a function of someone's parenting ability or love, just a reminder we are all fallible humans.

You're missing the point completely. People DO forget, because they're tired, distracted, in work mode...

Perhaps cars could be fitted with a motion sensor that triggers an alert to your phone if movement is detected inside the car.

What I find scariest is how judgemental so many people are about these situations. It could happen to absolutely anyone, it's a nightmarish mistake. Is it a defence mechanism to prefer to believe that the parent was some dickhead?

https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/magazine/fatal-distraction-forgetting-a-child-in-thebackseat-of-a-car-is-a-horrifying-mistake-is-it-a-crime/2014/06/16/8ae0fe3a-f580-11e3-a3a5-42be35962a52_story.html

It really is worth reading this article to get more of an understanding.

Absolutely devastating. This was my greatest fear when I was so tired and my mind wasn’t working properly. I dread to imagine how the family cope with this.

I work with children.
Youd be surprised how frequently parents forget to pick up children. Losing track of time, and thinking the other parent was was picking up usually. Ive had two parents arrive to pick up a child, or a child go home with a friend and the parent turn up.

I know you're right and I don't infer that these parents had any sort of malicious intention, but that's an aspect of the brain that I really struggle to comprehend on a practical level, since it seems so much at odds with self-preservation.

I always have some sort of mental checklist running in the background (which is very normal, not saying I'm better than anyone, it's an evolutionary trait to be on the lookout for threats, whether it's a sabre-tooth tiger or missing a deadline), I can't imagine being so absorbed or immersed in something that it overrides that.
But I know it can happen, sadly.