DH wants to miss SIL’s anniversary lunch for Arsenal parade?

[Thegoldenoriole]

As you may or may not know (or care), Arsenal won the Premier League yesterday. DH wants to go to the parade in a couple of weeks. However, we have his sister’s 10th anniversary lunch booked in already, and it would be impossible to attend both.

I think it’s probably reasonable to go to the parade, given it could be literally the only opportunity. Or it could happen again next year! But I’m concerned DSIL won’t feel the same way… DH is a fan, but not to a major degree - he only started following them at uni influenced by his flatmate and I think he’s been to two live arsenal games in his life! The rest of the family aren’t football people at all. I only care insofar as it affects DH.

Thoughts? I would still go to SIL’s lunch and take the kids - they are small and after what happened at Liverpool last year I wouldn’t want them going without me.

I don’t see the point in attending either a 10th anniversary lunch unless you’re part of the couple celebrating or a parade for a team you don’t play in or work for. So as both are equally pointless, he gets to choose which and manage any fallout.

I read it as anniversary of death and a family meal to mark even at that would be fine to miss.
No way would I go to someone else's wedding anniversary lunch of course he should go to the parade. I'd even skip my own anniversary lunch for something

I think it is more common at 25 and 50 years than 10, yes but also think it’s more common with the older generation. I may be wrong but just don’t know anyone in their 40s celebrating anniversaries with anyone other than each other and perhaps children.

Unless there’s a very good reason for a ten year anniversary lunch it’s is just a nothing lunch, might as well be a generic family lunch.

In which case you wouldn’t have accepted the invitation in the first place.

Its irrelevant that you think its a stupid thing to do - the DH accepted the invites to a family celebration when it suited him and is now ditching them for a better offer. That is rude and inconsiderate.

It’s been 22 years since we last won the league, unless you have a season ticket it can be difficult/EXPENSIVE to get match day tickets so I don’t think you can use that as a qualifier as to how much of a fan he is. I would absolutely support him going to the parade over an anniversary lunch

This lol is this a thing??! Very odd.

Personally I'd invent something to get out of an anniversary lunch.

My thoughts too. Everyone (well not everyone because not me) has this need for their actual life to seem more like a biopic of their life playing out with an adoring audience, lest it feels like a flop production.

10th Wedding Anniversary Lunch for family??? How bizarre.

Lol yes. Can’t beat a good lol 😂

Yeah I'd want to find an excuse to miss that too. I've never heard of that as an event before, why not just her and her husband? Anyway it's a bit rude if you've accepted the invitation but so long as he tells her I wouldn't get bent out of shape about it. Unless it's a ball ache for you to long by yourself to the lunch.

Yeah I'd want to find an excuse to miss that too. I've never heard of that as an event before, why not just her and her husband? Anyway it's a bit rude if you've accepted the invitation but so long as he tells her I wouldn't get bent out of shape about it. Unless it's a ball ache for you to long by yourself to the lunch.

Off topic but why are arsenal fans now calling themselves gooners? Is it some sort of take on gunner?

YABU to be married to someone who cares about sport

Yeah maybe that’s it - just an excuse for a party or get-together. Tbf his sister really isn’t “main character energy” but I suspect once a few people have done it, it becomes normalised so others are more likely to follow.

I’ve noticed that. It’s funny considering the alternative meaning of goon!

Someone else's anniversary? Never understood this, weird af to me.

However if he's already agreed...

So did I. A tenth wedding anniversary lunch just sounds strange to me.

I am now so tempted to rewatch Fever Pitch, not only the wonderful Colin Firth but also Lady Bridgerton, the mother, as his teacher girlfriend!

I'd take the eye gouging, thanks, If it's all the same with you. What next, the 5th Anniversary of their first date or the 6th Anniversary of them going to see Coldplay? Self indulgent nonsense.

As per PPs sensible advice:

If your SIL has invited you to (a big) lunch (for any reason) and you've accepted, you should go. I think your plan to go yourself and take DCs is a good choice on your part. Your DH can explain in advance his absence to his DFam.

TLDR:
For all the fuss about how unimportant a 10th anniversary is: so many marriages don't even make it to 10 yrs ... so I think a family lunch is completely reasonable - plus, who needs a reason to host a big family lunch?)

It’s a funny way of saying “gunners” maybe so it doesn’t get picked up by online filters? But it’s Arsenal as in an arsenal of firearms!

It's been around for years. It's not a new thing at all.

This is between your DH and his sister.

Family get togethers are important whether they are for an occasion or not, but I wonder about making any wedding anniversary before silver a thing you get others roped into.