Male hospital staff

[ToadRage]

I don't really know how i feel about this or if I'm just being a bit precious. I had an appointment for a transvaginal ultrasound a couple of weeks ago. I was a bit shocked to find the sonographer was a man. A female nurse was present and she did all the talking, he barely said a word to me. I have had ultrasounds before but they have always been done by women. He was professional and nothing out of the ordinary happened but I felt a bit awkward as I haven't had a man down there except my husband in 20+ years, not even a male doctor. Am I wrong in thinking I should have been told it was going to be done by a man, maybe given the option to request a woman or AIBU?

I get internal scans usually once a year since I was 19 for health reasons and genuinely never even thought about it until you’ve mentioned it but yeah most of the times been a man with a female nurse present. Can’t say it’s ever bothered me but equally I totally get why a female would prefer the option of a female sonographer. My midwife was a man and the person who delivered my daughter was a man. I’ve never even batted an eyelid lol! Again I can understand why a woman would request a female though but they are all experts and trained hard. Xx

I'm a man and had an ultrasound on my testicals. On 2nd Jan, the guy said he was going to put some cream on and it might be cold. He did find "fuck me I usually pay good money to abused like that" funny... strange how your mind works when embarrassed

Lucky you. You got an appointment with a sonographer when there’s a shortage of them.

A severe shortage of sonographers—with vacancy rates hovering around (24.2%) across England and reaching up to (38.2%) in regions like the South East—is causing major delays for vital NHS services. This deficit threatens timely pregnancy and cancer care

Lots of gynae consultants are male. Do women not want them to deal with their healthcare and pregnancies or is it just because this was a sonographer.

I will be forever grateful to the male consultant on call (only one on call, early hours of a Sunday morning) who listened and took me seriously when other healthcare professionals that night had not. He immediately did an internal examination and ultrasound on me while I was early pregnant and was bleeeding extremely heavy (dripping off the couch) and had me straight into theatre saved my life and the pregnancy.
If I had delayed a few hours until morning because I wanted a female to do the scan and examination, I would not be alive.

Similarly a different male consultant delievered that same baby prematurely and then dealt with my haemorrage.

It's a shame, as I'm sure you were professional and only wanted to do your best for patients, but the fact does remain that (traumatised) women may find it impossible to speak up in the moment and ask for a female, instead suffering through care that they find distressing or retraumatising. I know that when I was much younger, I would've felt unable to speak up and advocate for myself.

I really think it should be standard for all people to be asked their preferences (or lack thereof) and have them recorded on their notes, so that HCPs know beforehand what they would prefer, and can try to abide by that (except of course in a situation where it's an emergency).

Why didnt he ask you to put the cream on yourself?

I've had a few transvaginal scans and all but the last were done by a woman. I was slightly surprised when I saw the male sonographer but there was a woman chaperone present so I was OK with it.
Funnily enough though when I had my blood pressure tested at Boots, I was asked if I preferred a woman.

I agre with you basically, but sometimes it's not possible. When my GP was doing a manual prostate exam on me (finger up the bum exam) I was offered a chaperone, which I declined. I asked after, out of interest, who it would have been... "one of the ladies from the office" was the reply.
I had turned it down, as I said, but I wouldn't wish that on anyone.
But you know, I understand that the issues are different for women.

It’s not cream is it ? It’s ultrasound gel and he probably didn’t know where the gel needed to go..

I had one of those ultrasounds recently too and it was a man performing it.
Didn't bother me in the slightest. I think there was a female there too as chaperone.
I figured they see it all anyway in their job and it's just another day to them.
Thinking about it, do we ever actually know if we're going to get a male or female doctor?
I suppose you could always ask if you would prefer one.
To me though that's limiting as it's less health professionals to look at me when I need one - as long as they're good at their job and I get my appointment ok!

😂

The doctor could tell the patient where to put the gel.

Testicles are small. There are only so many places that you can put gel!

I am yet to meet a woman who doesn't find these procedures painful and distressing. It has nothing to do with the medical staff in charge.

It's ridiculous to sexualise the whole thing and start accusing a male practitioner or being inappropriate at best and, like you can read in the thread, wanting to ban all male and accuse them of being incompetent or pervert for doing the same job as a woman, and questioning their interest in the field.

When many female patients like myself can testify that men often are more gentle and a lot less dismissive.

My point was that confusing a medical procedure with a sexual one and the use of a sex toy says more about the patient and their ridiculous reactions.
It's like pretending there's anything sexual about a mammography. Yes, often they need to touch your boobs but come on, if you had one, you will know that you need a very twisted mind to sexualise the whole thing.

Are you a man by chance ??

Not all male medical staff are rapists.

No one said they are.

what they are saying is that they are potential rapist and should be treated as such.

Which is a very disturbing view of the world. Very MN, but disturbing nevertheless

Fair enough, but the more important point is that a male patient is very likely to have all female nursing and not very likely to query this. There's nothing wrong with that, likewise a male nurse working in gynaecology

I'd be the same as you OP. And reading the responses, I'm really struck by, on the one hand, the insistence that it's fine, they're just doing their job, their sex doesn't matter, and, on the other, the reassurance of a female chaperone.

If there's nothing to worry about, no power imbalance, no risk of abuse, no difference between men examining women v women examining men, then why the need for a chaperone?

ahem.. to protect the practitioner as much as the patient?

In many places, a chaperon (or female witness) is required to avoid any false accusation against the male. It's a basic rule in many workplace. It's the man who is protected, not so much the woman.

Yes, this - I remember years ago now when I was at a doctor's appointment, I mentioned something and he couldn't do it there and then as there wasn't a chaperone available, I'd have to book another appointment for that.
I was a bit bemused at first as I wasn't bothered and it hadn't occurred to me I'd need one, but when I thought about it I suppose it was because they need to cover themselves!

Oh wow, I feel like I’ve only ever had male doctors for every single issue (women’s problems and all). Wouldn’t occur to me it was weird. Especially since 3 male doctors helped the midwife bring my baby into this world. Wonder if men feel the same with a woman checking their nethers 🤔. Genuine question

Still haven't managed to scrape up any sense of empathy, then? Ah well, I tried. You're clearly wilfully naive and uncaring, given that medical professionals do (rarely) assault patients, and traumatised women may be unable to undergo such a procedure performed by a man. Frankly, you should be ashamed of yourself - although of course, you won't be.

According to some posters it's purely because those nasty women might lie, and make up things about the doctor 🙄 And not at all because male medical professionals can, and do, assault patients (albeit not frequently).

But why is it, in this thread, being offered as a mitigation against a male practitioner? "It's ok, they have a chaperone". It feels like a gap in thinking, if I'm honest... the chaperone keeps the patient safe (in the context of this thread; I don't have the energy to go down the 'nasty wimmin making false accusations' sideline), but safe from what?

If there's no concern whatsoever, then what does the reassurance of a chaperone achieve for the patient?