Male hospital staff

[ToadRage]

I don't really know how i feel about this or if I'm just being a bit precious. I had an appointment for a transvaginal ultrasound a couple of weeks ago. I was a bit shocked to find the sonographer was a man. A female nurse was present and she did all the talking, he barely said a word to me. I have had ultrasounds before but they have always been done by women. He was professional and nothing out of the ordinary happened but I felt a bit awkward as I haven't had a man down there except my husband in 20+ years, not even a male doctor. Am I wrong in thinking I should have been told it was going to be done by a man, maybe given the option to request a woman or AIBU?

thats an odd way to describe a medical exam, which might explain the problem

As part of the medical exam, they are quite literally inserting a large dildo shaped object into the vagina, and moving it about – in, out, side to side – to try to get a good picture. I don't think it's an inaccurate description at all.

What exactly is incorrect about it?

I’ve had loads of male practitioners, didn’t even think anything of it

Nice. I dont think they had enough female staff at the GP that I went to

Its also a bit "ugh" to think how many vaginas its been in before us

I was sexually assaulted by a sport massage professional. He assaulted many women
i never bothered before about who did exams especially since I’ve had a lot of gynae investigations. Now I won’t see any male professionals alone. And by alone I want a female chaperone stood next to me, not outside the curtain

Yes you can. I had an exam by a female GP 3 weeks ago and there was a female chaperone
at hospital there was the consultant, a medical student and a chaperone, all female

if you are thinking about a dildo when you are painfully having a medical instrument shoved in your vagina by a complete stranger (male or female), you are very weird.

It's much more invasive than a mammogram or even a smear test in my experience. So yes I agree with you op. I had a woman do mine thankfully.

I disagree. I think it is similiar to a dildo. Not that its a sex toy. But if you had to describe what its like in comparison to something else, a dildo is apt.

Ive had this procedure twice, about 10 years apart, and both times it was males.
First time rhe doctor was very professional and reassuring, second time the doctor was very abrupt and kept telling me how painful a biopsy would be if he had to do one.

I think you're trying a bit hard to be obtuse, here. It is phallus shaped, as that's the shape it needs to be. It is being inserted in the vagina. It's extremely invasive, and for women with sexual trauma, the thought of being penetrated by a stranger can be unbearable. Do you have no empathy?

It’s ok to ask for someone else for any reason. You need to feel comfortable.

Bit different as not intimate exams but I’m a nurse working with male patients. I’ve been asked to swap for males before and I absolutely do not mind, the patient has to feel comfortable. Sometimes it can mean that the person has a longer wait but they can choose.

The last time i got it done, the female doctor got me to insert it myself. She said that was standard procedure now, which i thought was good as it was less traumatising that way.

Is that standard everywhere now?

I don't live in the UK and most medical are still male although that ratio is definitely improving. I have always had good care by males and I don't have a problem as it's normalized for me. Howbwtw I do feel that I'd you are concerned you should tell them Yoh would prefer a female. I'm assuming that's a possibility?

Not sure about the UK, but that was what happened with mine in NZ, with a female HCP.

Stop trying to shame PP for making an accurate description of the procedure.

You clearly haven’t had one so your view is not required thank you.

It doesn’t seem to occur to you that some, perhaps many women, might, like the OP have been uncomfortable with you treating them but not dared
to speak up.

what the hell are you on about? It's literally because I have to have these procedures that the comparison with a sex toy is just ridiculous

By sexualising the whole thing, it makes sense why some of you are so weird.

What's next? you are going to compare a dental exam with a blow job too?

I have never heard of that, but what a terrible idea! You'd hope the doctor would know enough to be able to do the procedure theselves

Why is it a terrible idea? I thought it was a great idea.

I presume it was put in place so it feels less invasive to women.

If we insert it ourselves, it is less traumatising tham someone else inserting it

I think you should have been prepared at least. I had one recently and it was a young man doing it. I was slightly taken aback at first as I’d just assumed it would be a woman, but I soon got over it. They’re medical professionals after all. He asked my permission at every stage and was gentle and perfectly fine.

I don’t think you’re unreasonable but I’d rather have a man than nobody, or a longer wait.

The same happened to me, OP. I’d already waited ages for the TVU. When I found out, in the exam room, that the sonographer was male, I asked if there was a female member of staff available and was told I could express a preference from the back of the waiting list, so I didn’t feel I could leave.

I felt very uncomfortable with the whole experience. We shouldn’t be made to feel that way in our hospitals.

What is ridiculous about it? It's a phallic object being inserted in the vagina, and moved about.

Also, a dental exam involves the mouth, not the genitals, and aside from that, as far as I know, one is not required to suck on a phallic shaped object during any dental procedure. You clearly do lack any empathy whatsoever, if you cannot understand that being vaginally penetrated by a male medical professional could be deeply distressing for many women.

As for insertion - obviously the HCP can do it, but a woman may feel more comfortable if she does the initial insertion, in part for physical reasons (she knows what hurts and what doesn't as it's her own body) and in part for psychological reasons.

Of course I'm aware of that possibility 🤷