AIBU to think using their voucher only on their share was rude?

[Dinnerdrama]

We were invited out to dinner with friends at the weekend.They planned to visit a particular restaurant and asked if we’d like to go along.
We had a nice enough meal, couple bottles of wine, liqueurs. All quite pleasant for a Friday night.
When the bill arrived one of our friends presented a voucher and asked for the bill to be halved and the voucher taken off theirs. The waiter seemed slightly bemused and repeated back the request. Our friend repeated and clarified they wanted the bill split and the voucher taken off their half.
I almost died of second hand mortification. Is this not CF of the highest order?! I wouldn’t dream of doing this when I invited people out. If I was that skint, I’d use the voucher as a couple and
not invite others along.
For the record, I have been out for a meal previously with them where I have had a voucher and I had the voucher taken off the whole bill and split the remainder.
Cannot believe the brass neck, it has put me off going out with them again. Massively embarrassed on their behalf, not sure why, they didn’t seem to be!!

Well the post wasn't clear gift cards and vouchers are very different things.

Using a 25% off main vouchers and leaving you out would be weird. But they don't owe you their money/

They have to use it at some point and it is theirs.

Why are you so upset you had to pay your own bill?

You are basically saying 'went out to dinner and they didn't give me £50' you ok hun?

That’s not true, I’m very lucky to be able to be generous with friends and family and do so frequently but it doesn’t change the English language.

A gift card is not a discount it’s factually incorrect.

Language is important for communication.

Debt isn’t Equity
Capital isn’t a fixed asset
And prepayments aren’t discounts.

We would live in a very confused world if we stopped using words with correct meaning

If you'd been clear at the start that this was a gift voucher for a set sum, and that you had previously paid some of their bill with a gift voucher for a set sum, then the replies would have been different.

You added confusion by just calling it a voucher and that could be a % off or a set sum, it isn't immediately clear.

Given the context, specifically because in the past you had used a gift voucher to pay part of the whole bill then split the remainder, then yeah, they are CF's. Happy to take, not willing to give back. Ick.

I’m totally with you OP and would never do this - whether I had % off or a gift voucher, if I went with friends I would share it. However it’s clear that lots of people feel differently and I don’t necessarily think that’s wrong…I just wouldn’t behave that way 🤷‍♀️

But it makes zero difference to how I would use it. If it feels to me like I'm getting a proportion of sonething for free then it feels like a discount. That is all we are talking about. You can think I'm a mug if you want but it doesn't matter. Contribution to something versus money actually removed might be a technical difference but it's irrelevant to how I would that difference in the amount I am spending.

Yes this, you need to view the gift card as cash. It is not the same as a money off voucher.

CFs of the highest order. Truly cringy and mean spirited.

No one is worried about what you would do. TBH I would argue till I was blue in the face for you not to do this because I like to pay my fair share. In fact, I have a friend who does try and cover peoples share and it makes them feel as though she thinks they can’t pay. They hate it. BUT I digress because this isn’t about me or you.

If the prepaid voucher was simply a piece of paper saying

'Dappled already paid us £100 before she arrived'

Would your friends still accept they could pay less than their share?

It’s odd TBH

If the prepaid voucher was simply a piece of paper saying

'Dappled already paid us £100 before she arrived'

Would your friends still accept they could pay less than their share?
Well no because me paying an amount early isn't the same as having a gift card given to me that I can use at the time. One of those is me still paying the £100 and one isn't.

It might feel like that but you are not getting anything free if you have already paid the restaurant £100 in advance. Feelings aren’t facts. But if you are happy to pay extra for your meal because you already paid some in advance then that’s your decision. It’s not about you though.

How does anyone know who paid for the gift card?

Doesn't matter who paid for the gift card. It's the equivalent of cash & the OP is a CF for expecting to receive half of it.

I was given one of those AllforOne cards for my birthday from colleagues, worth £20.
I was out with friends at Nandos and used mine when the bill came to pay for my food.

Are you saying that I should have shared it with everyone?
Why?

Which just circles us back to where we were about an hour ago where I said if I had bought the gift card for myself (which admittedly is not a possibility I had previously considered) then I would feel the need to explain that it wasn't actually a giftcard gift card as it hadn't been a gift. And I was therefore paying the whole amount.

If I had been given the gift card I would still expect and want to spend it on the total meal and I would feel like I was getting a discount as I was paying less.

Still only saying how I would feel and behave.

YABU because you state they invited you out to dinner. No they didn't, they arranged to meet you for dinner.

I sometimes buy a restaurant voucher using an app where I get a % back paid towards my mortgage.
I use it as cash towards payment, same as when I buy a supermarket voucher, why would I share that, it's just another way of paying

Someone is going to post a dictionary definition in a minute. That’s my personal litmus test that a thread has really turned a bit batshit.

Is saying "the fuck are you talking about?" to strangers one of these excellent manners you were brought up with?

If so, I think you missed a lesson or two.

This thread went batshit hours ago.

I cannot for the life of me see why any reasonable person wouldn’t just say “I might personally put my gift card towards the entire bill, but if someone else chooses to use it just on their portion, fair enough. It was a gift to them after all.” Christ, especially if it’s a friend. Doesn’t sound like OP really likes them anyway, the way she’s bitching about them on here.

Dictionary definitions and links to legal websites incoming any minute I’m sure.

@DappledThings and OP

If you had accumulated air miles to the value of £100 and you and your friends decided to book a holiday would you use those air miles for your friends flights as well as your own? This would mean your flight would cost more.

Given they were happy to accept half of your gift voucher on the first meal, it was a bit unfair that they didn't share when they had a gift voucher.

If it'd happened in isolation then I wouldn't have questioned it - their choice how they pay - but accepting someone else's generosity and then not doing the same when the parties are reversed seems unfriendly.

Don't know. Never had air miles. Maybe. If we were booking it all together.

I agree with you. They benefitted from your voucher so it should have been vice versa.

Lesson learnt. Next time ask for separate bills from the start.

Theb maybe mention after you had a voucher lol

Excellent display here of those manners you keep talking about.

As I see it, the issue isn't that they used their voucher towards their bill, it's that they didn't reciprocate your generosity in sharing your voucher previously.

Were it not for your voucher, my answer would be a definite YABU.

YABU to be embarrassed as the waiter won't have that context.