to think some retired people completely forget what it’s like to be working full time?

[cupofcup]

I know retirement is not always easy and older people can have health issues, caring responsibilities etc. But I do think some people genuinely forget what it is like to juggle work, commuting, childcare, housework and just basic life admin all at once.

My DM is retired and will often say how busy she is because she has shopping on Tuesday and a doctor’s appointment on Friday. That is apparently an exhausting week. She is in good health and active. Meanwhile most working people are fitting those things around 40+ hour working weeks.

My retired neighbour constantly comments on how awful another neighbour’s garden looks and how she should tidy it up. The neighbour she is talking about is a working mum with young children who leaves the house at 7am every day. My retired neighbour has a gardener.

Obviously NOT ALL retired people are like this at all. Some are incredibly understanding and helpful. But others seem to completely lose perspective on how relentless working life can be, especially with children.

Excuse me. I’m 72, it was perfectly normal for us to have had two working parents. Not only was I working full time when I was 60 but I was also running two houses and managing my parents’ care and finances and doing all their shopping. I know very well what it feels not to have enough hours in the day.

For me it’s more reflected by when parents say “shall we just pop over for lunch on Tuesday and go for a dog walk” when I have a 30 minute lunch break and by no means time to walk their dog with them. I mean it’s endearing that they have lost total concept of the work week but I also just have to laugh because my parents were TOTAL workaholics with zero time for us as siblings.

that said, I’ve also noted, and give my parents a lot of slack for, their new, lower energy levels. A battle on the phone with the GP receptionist seems to knock them out for the morning, and they do maybe one activity in the afternoon. But that’s ok - it’s their new pace of life - I just can’t meet it right now!

Absolutely! Its their stage of life. Add to that , that they are lonely.

My mother complained last week that i didnt call her for three days. I said "it was a very busy time at work". People of that age don't think about work at all because they don't work.

😂😂😂😂

I really do cringe at the term ‘life admin’. Reminds me of the equally ick inducing ‘mental load’!

And pensioners are fed up of you judging them.

But pensioners are older to logically speaking they must have thrown the first stone in this argument ;) ;)

I wouldn't single out retired people. They have for the most part been that young, working person at one time in their lives.

Quite a few of my neighbours are only in their 40s and 50s, and don't work at all. The one next to me is single, and works a few hours a week, maybe 1-3. She spends the rest of the time trying to engage the rest of us in chatter. I prefer to wait until she's gone out to take the bins out, as she lays in wait for anyone to appear, runs out of the door, and you're stuck. Same when I return from the dog walk. I WFH and don't allow myself many breaks, and those which I do are very well-timed.

It's those who have never worked who I find hardest to deal with in the sense you're referring to. Not retired people. Yes the latter can also tie you up while on a lunchtime walk, but they are always so respectful.

I agree! My retired family members expect me to pop in the car for a 2.5 hour journey each way with a toddler, pets and a household to run. I think they have forgotten how hard it is.

Exactly, which is why you shouldn't be judging pensioners because you have no idea

That’s my MIL! My DH works from home on a Friday, so she thinks he’s not actually working and wants to come over and be hosted, then gets offended when he disappears for an hour for a Teams meeting. He’s fed up of explaining he’s still working, just not in the office.

I got a nasty message from my aunt once for not taking care of something for my elderly mother.

I pointed out that I was working.

My aunt also is retired.

How am I judging pensioners? I didn't mention pensioners. I did mention what SOME retired people said to me.

You dont have time to watch a bit of tv in the evening?

I’m sure it’s the same for anyone whose life has changed in some way. When you have kids you forget what it was like no not have them, when they’ve grown up and left home you forget what it was like to have small children at home etc etc.

I’ve been retired 7 years but the novelty hasn’t worn off yet. I’m still absolutely thrilled not to have to get up at 7am to go to work.

Where did I judge pensioners? I didn't mention pensioners.

Couldn’t agree more. I worked my socks off from 18. Also had caring responsibilities from a young age. No washing machine and no car.
Not quite ‘shoe box in middle of the road’ but you get my drift.

And now I am retired and enjoying a much calmer pace of life.

Don’t make assumptions about me and my life and I will do the same for you.

No I don't. I have not watched TV for years.

So i guess you'll be looking after your siblings in old age?

stop explaining if its winding you up. Your responses are entirely in your control OP.

Try "never explain, never complain" for a week and see how you feel

Pressed the wrong one! I meant YANBU

So you dont have any free time in the day? How come other full time parents manage to make time fir themselves

This.

My parents retired and house paid off and pensions taken early in 1990s of £60K between them. Ranting about how much they had to do and about how poor they were !!!
as they retired and bleating about how poor they were (!) they had two houses completely paid off and both retired at 50! One is 85 and one is 80. My mother worked from aged 30-50 and has spent over a decade longer retired than working.

When I was a single parent I always had to drive 300 miles to see them as they were busy ! Swapping library books mainly!!

My parents are late70s early 80s. My dad will send a message to the family group chat at 8am and wonder why no one has replied at 4pm - because his children and several of his grandchildren have full time jobs and no time for WhatsApp! He phones me instead (I don’t work due to health issues).

I definitely won't be!